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should I say something? C'est la vie 3 kids; falls, Ab, United States 17114 posts
23rd Jun '13

Sometime in july me, DH and our kids want to go away for a weekend. Can't wait it will be exciting. The problem is should I mention to my mom before we go or no? Story is she has custody of my nephew and recently she keeps asking us to watch him and take him places, one of which he was not invited to. She was mad at me last weekend for not taking him to a bday party on DH's side of the family. Last year we got stuck taking him to two amusement parks which was supposed to be a "family only trip". I know if I mention going away she will ask if he can go. I try saying no and she will say "well I think its mean or sad he can't go". DH is getting very mad. Feels like we are being taken advantage of.imo if she didn't want to raise another child she should not have taken custody of him. I always ask her why not let his mother watch him when she needs a sitter. The answer? No indont want to, why can't you just do it? So should I mention that we will be away for a weekend incase she needs to get ahold of us or wait until were on the road and tell her? I feel bad for the kid but he is bad. He doesn't listen and talks back to us all the time but like I said I feel like were being taken advantage of

Out-numbered Mommy ; 2 kids; 1 angel baby; Luverne, MN, United States 904 posts
23rd Jun '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting C'est la vie:</b>" Sometime in july me, DH and our kids want to go away for a weekend. Can't wait it will be exciting. The ... [snip!] ... but he is bad. He doesn't listen and talks back to us all the time but like I said I feel like were being taken advantage of"</blockquote>




I would wait. Say it was a last minute trip.. You were being spontanious(sp)..

Naturally Alternative 2 kids; 2 angel babies; Lafayette, Louisiana 6016 posts
23rd Jun '13

I wouldn't. Not her business if your family wants to get away... especially since she's partly what you're "getting away" from... if she calls just say "oh sorry, we took an impromptu trip and we're not home" ... that's what I'd do in that situation haha.

Monsters² Mom 2 kids; 4 angel babies; Dahlgren, VA, United States 4920 posts
23rd Jun '13

Honestly i wouldn't tell her. It isn't fair to your DH to have to put up with feeling like he has no say in the matter. Not to mention your mother shouldn't guilt you in to taking your nephew.

C'est la vie 3 kids; falls, Ab, United States 17114 posts
23rd Jun '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Monsters ⚓ Mom:</b>" Honestly i wouldn't tell her. It isn't fair to your DH to have to put up with feeling like he has no say in the matter. Not to mention your mother shouldn't guilt you in to taking your nephew. "</blockquote>




Lately when she gets her hair done we get stuck with him too. I'm just hoping thay is not the weekend she has a hair appt. She will usually ask me on a thursday or friday to watch him that saturday. I'm trying to remember when her last appt was lol

KodieT Due November 30; Alabama 52 posts
23rd Jun '13

Tell get where your staying only sleeps (however many in your family) and there's no room for him.

KodieT Due November 30; Alabama 52 posts
23rd Jun '13

Her*
.........

Gosloving 1 child; Washington 12831 posts
23rd Jun '13

Why does she have custody of him? I'm guessing his mom was unfit, so why would you want her to babysit him? :?



Who pays for him when you take him to the amusement park and stuff? I am very family oriented so I find it rude that you're talking this way about a family member. Specially a kid. How would you feel if it was reversed and it was your mother always going to parties or taking your nephew out. When your kids wanted to go, she'll be like .. "well, hm they can't because it's kind of a family thing."?

Mommy2Twins...And countin Due August 30 (boy); 18 kids; Missouri 27 posts
23rd Jun '13

sounds to me like she is the one being selfish and she is being inconsiderate of you I have a friend who was in that similar situation and she just finally had to say the kid wouldn't mind and was not respectful and she got her point across her mom got over it!! I would wait until as long as possible to tell her or anyone your family deserves some you time and some time as a family not an extended family!!! Good luck!!!

KodieT Due November 30; Alabama 52 posts
23rd Jun '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Now and Forever:</b>" Why does she have custody of him? I'm guessing his mom was unfit, so why would you want her to babysit ... [snip!] ... your nephew out. When your kids wanted to go, she'll be like .. "well, hm they can't because it's kind of a family thing."? "</blockquote>
I don't find it rude at all.
She's trying to avoid hitting anyone's feelings. I have a cousin who is the same way.
When you have a kid who is disrespectful it doesn't really make a vacation relaxing.
They obviously take him quite a few places and I understand that sometimes you want it to just be your husband and kids.



All the grandmother would have to say is "you cant go this time, maybe you can go next time" or something of the sorts. She doesn't have to word it as "oh it's a family thing".

Subtle As A Hurricane 2 kids; Texas 4126 posts
23rd Jun '13

I wouldn't say anything to her until it's too late for your nephew to come along.

B( o )( o )BS! 3 kids; Oregon 25898 posts
23rd Jun '13
Quoting Now and Forever:" Why does she have custody of him? I'm guessing his mom was unfit, so why would you want her to babysit ... [snip!] ... your nephew out. When your kids wanted to go, she'll be like .. "well, hm they can't because it's kind of a family thing."? "


It's not a lack of being family oriented. It's the opposite! This woman wants to spend time with her own children and husband. Having even one extra child around changes the whole dynamic of a family atmosphere.

Gosloving 1 child; Washington 12831 posts
23rd Jun '13
Quoting KodieT:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Now and Forever:</b>" Why does she have custody of him? I'm ... [snip!] ... go this time, maybe you can go next time" or something of the sorts. She doesn't have to word it as "oh it's a family thing"."


I totally missed the part, were he misbehaved.

Gosloving 1 child; Washington 12831 posts
23rd Jun '13
Quoting B( o )( o )BS!:" It's not a lack of being family oriented. It's the opposite! This woman wants to spend time with her ... [snip!] ... time with her own children and husband. Having even one extra child around changes the whole dynamic of a family atmosphere. "


To each it's own, imo no it doesn't.



Lol, I also never implied she lacked family orientation, lol. I only said I was VERY family oriented. :?

Amber ♡ Due August 13 (boy); 1 child; Kansas 18682 posts
status 23rd Jun '13
Quoting KodieT:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Now and Forever:</b>" Why does she have custody of him? I'm ... [snip!] ... go this time, maybe you can go next time" or something of the sorts. She doesn't have to word it as "oh it's a family thing"."


:!: Agreed. I don't find it rude at all!



OP- I would tell them last minute, like after you have already left if possible.