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Turtley Mikey Due October 31; 2 kids; California 50611 posts
24th Jun '13
Quoting [Boats&Hoes]:" Probably for CS purposes. hah. But I agree with the other women. if he wants to see her, he can go ... [snip!] ... he can go to your house and visit her. That's what Julian and his family did whenever they wanted to visit with and see Jae. "


I'm gonna PM her or talk to her in our PTOT about this instead of this thread. :)

Jenny&Boopy Due June 26; 2 kids; Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania 7397 posts
24th Jun '13

My ex only had visits with DS when I was there with him until he was about 6 months old. He was formula fed but I didn't trust him to care for a newborn alone. Like someone else said, I'd have him come visit her at your house for at least a few months. Then you can see if you can pump enough to let him take a bottle so he can have her for a few hours at a time after that.

Momlette of 3 Due December 25 (girl); 3 kids; Ohio 25513 posts
24th Jun '13
Quoting Colt's mommy:" umm, unless it was rape, I'm going to say that the father has the right to see his child. Only the courts should be able to decide otherwise."


There are plenty of screwed up situations. A court cannot properly IMO make a judgement of how things should be because a man can dress up nice and lie out his ass. Just as a woman can dress up nice and lie out her ass. I'm sorry but judges and court systems are NOT always correct. There are plenty of men out there who want to be in their childs life because it's a possesion thing. Not because they can be decent parents and that can't be decided by a judge who doesn't see their every day interactions and choices.

Turtley Mikey Due October 31; 2 kids; California 50611 posts
24th Jun '13
Quoting BαtMαɳ:" Idk, J. It's stressing me out really badly tho."


Okay, I'm gonna delete my comment and talk to you in the NO thread. :)

ChristinaLynne 3 kids; Pancake, TX, United States 29600 posts
status 24th Jun '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting BαtMαɳ:</b>" He hasn't stated anything about when he would want her. Just wanted to know if I had come up with a ... [snip!] ... I can present him with to start things off and then take it from there and figure out something that works for the both of us."</blockquote>




I think that's a great start. To show if you ever need to that you tried to do is the adult way.



I'm sure you don't have to set up a plan now but it's always a good idea to have a good start.

Jackie Burkhart ♡ 1 child; Wisconsin 7270 posts
24th Jun '13

I think whenever you are comfortable with it, probably not any overnights until you can up your supply enough to send with her for over nights/extended periods of time. In the mean time, there's no reason he can't come see her.

BαtMαɳ Gotham, __, United States 69356 posts
24th Jun '13
Quoting [Boats&Hoes]:" Probably for CS purposes. hah. But I agree with the other women. if he wants to see her, he can go ... [snip!] ... he can go to your house and visit her. That's what Julian and his family did whenever they wanted to visit with and see Jae. "


Yeah that's what I figured I would do. He is working 2 jobs without set hours so I figured having a semi-open door policy would be the most fair.

BαtMαɳ Gotham, __, United States 69356 posts
24th Jun '13
Quoting ChristinaLynne:" <blockquote><b>Quoting BαtMαɳ:</b>" He hasn't stated anything about when ... [snip!] ... tried to do is the adult way. I'm sure you don't have to set up a plan now but it's always a good idea to have a good start."


Thank you.

ChristinaLynne 3 kids; Pancake, TX, United States 29600 posts
status 24th Jun '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting BαtMαɳ:</b>" Thank you."</blockquote>
Welcome! Don't let it stress you too much. Good luck!

misanthrope 2 kids; Ramona, California 15431 posts
24th Jun '13

We started out with visits at my home. Once my DD was 4 months he would take her for a few hours at a time (I would nurse her right before and leave a bottle with a few oz of bm just in case). As she got older the visits got longer. There were no over nights until after she was fully weened at 18 months. Luckily we are pretty good at co parenting even tho we can't stand one another. Best of luck.

Rebekah Garden x3 Due October 5 (boy); 33 kids; Fall River, Massachusetts 5223 posts
24th Jun '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting BαtMαɳ:</b>" He hasn't stated anything about when he would want her. Just wanted to know if I had come up with a ... [snip!] ... I can present him with to start things off and then take it from there and figure out something that works for the both of us."</blockquote>




I have never been a single mom so this all from a complete hypothetical position.



I think for a plan I would offer: he com over like Wednesday and Friday and Monday after or before work and spend a few hours, and then more as wanted when asked. I would say more than likely but not set in stone around 3-4 months for a few hours, so long as she is accepting of a bottle and you are still exclusively breastfeeding. And for overnights we would play it by how the child acts and depending on EBF, supply, bottle acceptance and so on.

GavinsMomJohnnysWife 2 kids; Texas 2789 posts
24th Jun '13

I split from my SO when my son was 2 months old. He didn't press visitation hard, I don't think he actually started picking him up for daytime visits until my son was 6 months old. If you're EBF there's no way you can just let him take baby for hours on end, you don't know what the feeding schedule will be and he won't be able to do anything but shove a bottle and formula where you don't want it.

Colt's mommy 1 child; Moore, Oklahoma 22071 posts
status 24th Jun '13
Quoting ~MOM~:" There are plenty of screwed up situations. A court cannot properly IMO make a judgement of how things ... [snip!] ... they can be decent parents and that can't be decided by a judge who doesn't see their every day interactions and choices."


I agree with you, but I'm being real. The only way to not let the courts decide is to not go to court. And if you don't do that and the father wants to take the child and keep it from the mother, then the mother has to go to court to get the child back, right?

BαtMαɳ Gotham, __, United States 69356 posts
24th Jun '13
Quoting Colt's mommy:" I agree with you, but I'm being real. The only way to not let the courts decide is to not go to court. ... [snip!] ... father wants to take the child and keep it from the mother, then the mother has to go to court to get the child back, right? "


This is completely off fucking topic, my God. You don't even know me but thanks for making me out to be some raging bitch who is trying to keep my daughter from her father. I'm fucking TRYING, and all you can do is spout off some negative bullshit. Shut up and take that shit somewhere else.

Colt's mommy 1 child; Moore, Oklahoma 22071 posts
status 24th Jun '13
Quoting BαtMαɳ:" This is completely off fucking topic, my God. You don't even know me but thanks for making me out to ... [snip!] ... father. I'm fucking TRYING, and all you can do is spout off some negative bullshit. Shut up and take that shit somewhere else."



whoa dude...I'm honestly really sorry!! I seriously don't mean to be adding to your stress level right now! I was just conversing with the other poster! I, in no way think that you're trying to be bitch about this. You're coming across very strongly that you're trying to do the right thing and I think that's great.



I just have negative feelings towards these situations sometimes because of how my brother has been treated. It is not directed towards you.

ETA: I just haven't commented about what I think would be appropriate because the other posters seems to be giving you great advice and pretty close to what I would have said, so I didn't want to be redundant.