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I feel so bad for my friend D :( ~The Lunar Flower~ 2 kids; Alabama 6748 posts
24th Jun '13

I have known K for years & her brother T. T went into the marines & ended up getting a girl pregnant who was here from Tijuana. D is what we will call her. She added me over FB while she was pregnant & we have been friends ever since. He was there for the birth & somewhat through the pregnancy but after their daughter was born he rarely came around after the first few months. He would send her some money then stop sending it & repeat doing so. He finally decided he didn't want to be tied down & told the girl if she told anyone that the baby was his he would be kicked out of the marines. He refused to sign the birth certificate or pay regular child support. He send whatever amount of money he wants, when he wants. Well D's visa has expired & T threatened to have her deported because she asked about him signing the birth certificate again now that the baby is just over a year old. D is terrified of what could happen & is trying her best to get the money up to do what all needs to be done to renew her visa. She's very upset because she explained to me that if she is deported she wouldn't be allowed back for a year or two if her daughter came with her or she would have to leave her daughter in America with her mother while she had to requalify for her visa.

user banned 2 kids; Georgia 24891 posts
24th Jun '13

ummmm?



So, who do you feel bad for? your friend k?

TheyCallMeMOMMY♥ 3 kids; Albuquerque, New Mexico 6820 posts
24th Jun '13

Why did she let the visa expire? Thats something that should be taken care of right away.

~The Lunar Flower~ 2 kids; Alabama 6748 posts
24th Jun '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting A❤T=P&W:</b>" ummmm? So, who do you feel bad for? your friend k?"</blockquote>



Not at all lol. About to go edit that

~The Lunar Flower~ 2 kids; Alabama 6748 posts
24th Jun '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting TheyCallMeMOMMY♥:</b>" Why did she let the visa expire? Thats something that should be taken care of right away."</blockquote>



I personally am not educated on how visas work myself because I've never had to use one. She's having to work a full time job plus overtime as well as pay for daycare with no assistance. She said she is extremely low on funds but if she doesn't work they will lose their place to live.

Rebekah Garden x3 Due October 5 (boy); 33 kids; Fall River, Massachusetts 5223 posts
24th Jun '13

She should take him to court for paternity and make him get on the birth certificate.

Ronnie RadKat 4 kids; Arizona 22165 posts
24th Jun '13

Why can't she take her child back home with her while she waits for her visa to be renewed?

Ronnie RadKat 4 kids; Arizona 22165 posts
24th Jun '13
Quoting Rebekah Garden x3:" She should take him to court for paternity and make him get on the birth certificate."



She definitely can and should do this. Also even if she doesn't qualify for assistance her child is an American Citizen and does. She should go apply, they cannot turn her as an illegal for applying for assistance for her child, her child can get medical, food stamps. I'm not sure about Child care assistance.

~The Lunar Flower~ 2 kids; Alabama 6748 posts
24th Jun '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting 36-24-36OnlyIfshes5-3:</b>" Why can't she take her child back home with her while she waits for her visa to be renewed? "</blockquote>



She said the area she would have to live in with extended family is very dangerous & the living conditions are horrible to where she would never subject her daughter to that environment. Tons of drugs, break ins, rapes, etc.

~The Lunar Flower~ 2 kids; Alabama 6748 posts
24th Jun '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Rebekah Garden x3:</b>" She should take him to court for paternity and make him get on the birth certificate."</blockquote>



She wants him on the birth certificate but she said her lawyer told her if she takes him to court with an expired visa she could be deported & that he would have full access to their daughter with more rights than her mother if she chooses to go that route. Her mother is the only family she has in America & the only family her daughter actually knows. If the father took their daughter he wouldn't take care of her properly at all

~The Lunar Flower~ 2 kids; Alabama 6748 posts
24th Jun '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting 36-24-36OnlyIfshes5-3:</b>" She definitely can and should do this. Also even if she doesn't qualify for assistance her child is ... [snip!] ... for applying for assistance for her child, her child can get medical, food stamps. I'm not sure about Child care assistance. "</blockquote>



I will mention this to her. I think her daughter already has Medicaid & WIC. She does need child care assistance though

TheyCallMeMOMMY♥ 3 kids; Albuquerque, New Mexico 6820 posts
24th Jun '13
Quoting ~The Lunar Flower~:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Rebekah Garden x3:</b>" She should take him to court for paternity ... [snip!] ... & the only family her daughter actually knows. If the father took their daughter he wouldn't take care of her properly at all"


I was going to say DO NOT go to court now. she will be deported. Either way she needs to get her Visa fixed ASAP! She really cant do anything until that fixed. And I would hope she would do it sooner then later, no excuses. Im sure she wouldnt want her child growing up in the area you described.

Ronnie RadKat 4 kids; Arizona 22165 posts
24th Jun '13
Quoting ~The Lunar Flower~:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Rebekah Garden x3:</b>" She should take him to court for paternity ... [snip!] ... & the only family her daughter actually knows. If the father took their daughter he wouldn't take care of her properly at all"


this makes sense and really sucks.

~The Lunar Flower~ 2 kids; Alabama 6748 posts
24th Jun '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting TheyCallMeMOMMY♥:</b>" I was going to say DO NOT go to court now. she will be deported. Either way she needs to get her Visa ... [snip!] ... hope she would do it sooner then later, no excuses. Im sure she wouldnt want her child growing up in the area you described."</blockquote>



Out of curiosity, do you know how she would go about renewing her visa & be able to stay in America? She lives in CA.

TheyCallMeMOMMY♥ 3 kids; Albuquerque, New Mexico 6820 posts
24th Jun '13
Quoting ~The Lunar Flower~:" <blockquote><b>Quoting TheyCallMeMOMMY♥:</b>" I was going to say DO NOT go ... [snip!] ... Out of curiosity, do you know how she would go about renewing her visa & be able to stay in America? She lives in CA."

I think she has to present her case to Mx and CA. I have a friend here whose husband waited to get renewed, he followed the proper steps but to late. He was deported and has to be a resident of Mx for 10yrs before returning to the states.
Its definatly not something she should be waiting on.