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deleted freddddda 1 child; South Carolina 102 posts
25th Jun '13

gooooooneeeeeeee

user banned TTC since Apr 2014; 2 kids; Middelfart, Denmark 15320 posts
25th Jun '13

I wouldn't marry him until you can come to a set agreement on future kids. Otherwise you're setting yourself up for very serious marital problems in the future.

hobbit* 3 kids; New Zealand 44783 posts
25th Jun '13

Well, if you're planning on spending the rest of your life together and he already has a child from a previous, you pretty much Inherit her too, so now you're up to two children...

freddddda 1 child; South Carolina 102 posts
25th Jun '13

I'm definatly holding off on marrige at this piont for a few reasons though. We are having other issues beside sthis one. I'm just trying so hard to make it work with him. I dont't even want to think about have more children with anyone else. But I don't know how to get the point across to him, when basically I'm not even allowed to bring it up.

user banned TTC since Apr 2014; 2 kids; Middelfart, Denmark 15320 posts
25th Jun '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting hobbit*:</b>" Well, if you're planning on spending the rest of your life together and he already has a child from a previous, you pretty much Inherit her too, so now you're up to two children..."</blockquote>




Your own children that you bare are completely different. We as mothers should understand that.

user banned TTC since Apr 2014; 2 kids; Middelfart, Denmark 15320 posts
25th Jun '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Br%klyn:</b>" I'm definatly holding off on marrige at this piont for a few reasons though. We are having other issues ... [snip!] ... with anyone else. But I don't know how to get the point across to him, when basically I'm not even allowed to bring it up."</blockquote>




What are the other issues?

freddddda 1 child; South Carolina 102 posts
25th Jun '13
Quoting Red Bottom:" <blockquote><b>Quoting hobbit*:</b>" Well, if you're planning on spending the rest ... [snip!] ... Your own children that you bare are completely different. We as mothers should understand that."


exactly. In my family the women noramlly have 3 -5 boys... I'm hoping for my own set of 3 boys. We have a great chance of twins tsince both our grandparents are twins. And I always dreamed of twin boys.

user banned TTC since Apr 2014; 2 kids; Middelfart, Denmark 15320 posts
25th Jun '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Br%klyn:</b>" exactly. In my family the women noramlly have 3 -5 boys... I'm hoping for my own set of 3 boys. We have ... [snip!] ... own set of 3 boys. We have a great chance of twins tsince both our grandparents are twins. And I always dreamed of twin boys."</blockquote>




Your SO's family has nothing to do with your chances of having twins. Did your grandmother have identical or fraternal twins?

freddddda 1 child; South Carolina 102 posts
25th Jun '13
Quoting Red Bottom:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Br%klyn:</b>" I'm definatly holding off on marrige at this piont ... [snip!] ... the point across to him, when basically I'm not even allowed to bring it up."</blockquote> What are the other issues?"


in my latest post, i've discussed issues with his mother, his child's mother, his anger issues, I'm trying to keep my family together with every inch of love we have but I just am losing a hold of everything. My SO has gone into a depression due t obeing out of work bc of a huge surgery and he just tells me nothing makes him happy anymore.

user banned TTC since Apr 2014; 2 kids; Middelfart, Denmark 15320 posts
25th Jun '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Br%klyn:</b>" in my latest post, i've discussed issues with his mother, his child's mother, his anger issues, I'm ... [snip!] ... has gone into a depression due t obeing out of work bc of a huge surgery and he just tells me nothing makes him happy anymore."</blockquote>



It sounds like your relationship is the last relationship you'd want to add kids to, let alone a marriage. Is it possible you think having his children will make him love you more and fix the issues?

freddddda 1 child; South Carolina 102 posts
25th Jun '13
Quoting Red Bottom:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Br%klyn:</b>" exactly. In my family the women noramlly have ... [snip!] ... Your SO's family has nothing to do with your chances of having twins. Did your grandmother have identical or fraternal twins?"

she had fraternal, which i've heard is genetic where as indentical isn't. she had two boys then her third pregnancy she had twins, one being my grandfather. then she had 3 more more boys after them. All of my great grandmothers son's have had boys except for my mother being the only girl from my grandfather.

user banned TTC since Apr 2014; 2 kids; Middelfart, Denmark 15320 posts
25th Jun '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Br%klyn:</b>" she had fraternal, which i've heard is genetic where as indentical isn't. she had two boys then her third ... [snip!] ... after them. All of my great grandmothers son's have had boys except for my mother being the only girl from my grandfather. "</blockquote>




If it was your great grandmother, then your mother would be the one in line to have twins, then your daughter.



Regardless, the chances are still very slim.

user banned 3 kids; Los Angeles, California 54034 posts
25th Jun '13

so you want one more kid and he's not down? wait a bit and see how you still feel about that. You do have a step-kid already to consider, so there's that.

freddddda 1 child; South Carolina 102 posts
25th Jun '13
Quoting Red Bottom:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Br%klyn:</b>" in my latest post, i've discussed issues with ... [snip!] ... add kids to, let alone a marriage. Is it possible you think having his children will make him love you more and fix the issues?"

no, I've told myself for as long as his mother lives in the same state as us or within 100 miles I would not curse another child with metting her. She is not a good influance and she demands to watch our children and I have put my foot down so It's pretty tense now. And No my SO ha sno issue with loving me besides his anger problem. He acts like he would die if he never woke up to my face. I just don't think its fair that I can't dream of more kids b/c of his issues. Like if he wasn't so stressed I feel like he would consider. But Its sad that its not even fair to bring another child into a depressed home when he is around. I feel like my dreams have to be let go bc of him.

user banned 3 kids; Los Angeles, California 54034 posts
25th Jun '13
Quoting Br%klyn:" no, I've told myself for as long as his mother lives in the same state as us or within 100 miles I would ... [snip!] ... even fair to bring another child into a depressed home when he is around. I feel like my dreams have to be let go bc of him."


Seriously this whole thing is FUCKED UP and not something I'd bring even ONE child into.