Vent Momma Rawks 1 child; Iowa 7175 posts
26th Jun '13

My fiance died in 2011 by suicide. Ever since, I've made it my goal to promote awareness and educate people about suicide and prevention. It's a big deal to me, as you can imagine. I am part of the suicide survivors committee and am a member of my county's suicide prevention coalition. We're organizing our annual walk (this will only be my second one) and I have been made the speaker for the event. That means I'm going to be giving a (very emotional) speech about my experience as a suicide survivor and how life goes on after losing my fiance. This is a pretty huge thing. I am excited and nervous and all sorts of other emotions. I tell my family... and nothing. People on my Facebook are excited for me. My sister left a comment saying she'd be there. But my other family members ignored it (I sent them personal texts). I told my mom on the phone and she just laughed and said that ought to be interesting. I'm not asking for much, but this is a HUGE deal to me. Other than my sister's comment, I'd think SOMETHING would be nice. Instead, I get ignored and laughed at.

I'm also going to be part of a project that stems from a program in New Hampshire (I believe?) where shops that sell firearms will be more concerned about potentially selling firearms/ammunition to customers they feel may be suicidal, and promotes gun shops to place a suicide hotline poster in their stores. Granted, it's not a fail-proof project, but after losing my fiance to suicide via a gun, it's something I'm interested in getting to know more about. I told this to my mom, feeling pretty great about taking on this new committee and she just made an insensitive comment about how it'd be obvious that someone is going to shoot themselves because they'd buy a gun and a single bullet in a sarcastic tone. Gee, thanks Mom, for joking about the manner of my fiance's death.

And maybe it sounds like I'm over-reacting, but this is a very serious and sensitive topic to me. I'm not looking to be patted on the back or anything, but some acknowledgement and support would have been nice. I feel like I was flying high on the idea of doing all of this, and then after talking to my family, I just feel frustrated and annoyed. Suicide fucked up my entire world and life, it's not a damn joke to me. It isn't something I take lightly. I just wish my family would see that and whether or not they support what I do, that they would at least want to support my road to healing.

Ah oh spaghetti O 2 kids; ................................., CA, United States 1768 posts
26th Jun '13
Quoting Momma Rawks:" My fiance died in 2011 by suicide. Ever since, I've made it my goal to promote awareness and educate ... [snip!] ... family would see that and whether or not they support what I do, that they would at least want to support my road to healing."

I am so sorry to hear this! I can't believe your mother would act that way and about something as serious as suicide and about something that you personally had to live with. What you are doing is pretty Amazing. Your helping others and you should get a pat on the back along with your whole families support! I truly have no idea what to say when it comes to your mother, but either talk to her or leave her out of the loop... You don't need that kind of attitude when it comes to something that means so much to you.

mama1821 Due July 2 (girl); 2 kids; Tacoma, Washington 1265 posts
26th Jun '13

Big hugs to you sweetheart. I am so sorry that you or anyone else in this world would have to deal with suicide. It sounds like your support system that should be there is not and perhaps you need to let them know how its making you feel. Perhaps they have forgotten the importance and impact that suicide has left in your life. You keep that head up and keep fighting for your cause. Its what helps you deal with this and maybe someday you will be able to save someone from committing suicide themselves. If I were you, I would be hurt by my family's response as well but maybe its time for you to just lay it out there and let them know how you need their support and how you feel. They may just not realize it. I am proud of you honey!!!

✰ Mrs. B ✰ 2 kids; Texas 2640 posts
26th Jun '13

I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm sorry that your family doesn't seem to understand what you're going through or that this is so important to you. It's certainly not something to joke about. One of my Dad's step kids committed suicide last August and I didn't really know him (long story unrelated) and it still hit me pretty hard...definitely harder than I expected. One thing my Dad said, was that out of the 2 step kids, he was the last one he ever thought would do such a thing; always outgoing, happy, life of the party kind of guy. Whereas his brother was shy, quiet, loner type he said. So there's no demographic so to speak. If it means anything to you, I'm very thankful for all that you do and are involved in and plan to do, thank you so much!

Malia Joy {Bugaloo} TTC since Sep 2009; California 6270 posts
26th Jun '13

My best friend committed suicide and it shattered me :( I think it's amazing of you to do all of this.

Beth Malone Due July 6 (boy); 2 kids; Steens, Mississippi 16 posts
26th Jun '13

You are absolutely NOT overreacting! Suicide is nothing to joke or my rude comments about. I think its wonderful that you are using your experience to help others. I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope your mother will see how insensitive she is being.

CurlyDimpledLunatic! Due December 11 (girl); 2 kids; North Dakota 13756 posts
26th Jun '13

I don't think you're overreacting at all. When I was 13, one of my closest friends committed suicide and TO THIS VERY DAY, it affects me on a daily basis. It's something that is very important to you and very dear to you. I can't imagine my mother being so disrespectful as to laugh me off if I were to do something along the lines you are doing. Hell, it's been about 12 years since my friend died and when I see a terrible scene in a movie or show that has to do with somebody being hanged or suicide in general (she died by hanging herself) and I freak out, my mother is the first one I call crying. I am so sorry about your loss. I think that it is absolutely awesome that you are using what you experienced to help others and hopefully spread more awareness. Death at any age in any way is hard to get over. When you lose someone important and close to you by their own hand, that to me, is a whole nother ball park. Good Luck.

A & T + 2♡ 2 kids; Kansas 19173 posts
26th Jun '13

You're not over reacting at all :( I'm so sorry you are having to deal with all of this. *hugs* what you're doing is amazing!

I'm His Amy He's My Rory 2 kids; Caldwell, Idaho 49255 posts
26th Jun '13

You're mom is a heartless b***h. That's all I have to say.

orchidlovingmama 2 kids; Santa Rosa, California 1769 posts
26th Jun '13

I think you're extremely strong and a hero for facing your pain and talking about it in front of people to possibly save lives. Good for you. I wouldn't be too hard on your family though because they may just not know what to say and sometimes people laugh when they feel ackward or don't know what to say/how to handle the emotions.