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user banned Due January 20; 33 kids; North Carolina 14662 posts
27th Jun '13

I gave up hope after I read the word 'dope'
Any dope user I have ever known, has NEVER been as eloquent as that letter makes him seem.
Do you think it's possible that, assuming he knows files will be charged, that he may be trying to get his son with the intent to not return him? Considering you've had issues with his family in the past as well?



Do what it says in your heart is best for the child. If you know, and BD knows that you can be wrapped around his finger, do not let it happen.
If he truly wants to be in his life, he needs to make the effort first, not just say he is. You need to see the proof

Charlie's Lovely Mommy 1 child; Granville, Massachusetts 1794 posts
27th Jun '13
Quoting Pirate Hooker {BAMW}:" I gave up hope after I read the word 'dope' Any dope user I have ever known, has NEVER been as eloquent ... [snip!] ... happen. If he truly wants to be in his life, he needs to make the effort first, not just say he is. You need to see the proof"


You are so right. His mother has been supper supportive of helping with Charlie when she can (She wakes up at 3 in the morning every morning to get to work for four and comes home at 4 in the afternoon every evening. She is pooped, but tries her hardest to keep up the energy to have Charlie for at least a couple of hours) I think if he brings Charlie to his mothers house then she will make sure that I get him back, because I have full custody, and if he EVER tried to not give him back his ass would be in jail for kidnapping immediately. Trust me, I have called the courts and cops so that I can know my rights when he has visits. Which aren't mandated, I'm just trying to have my child be in his father's life. The only thing I worry about is that he will neglect diapers (or diaper rashes) and just turn the TV on and not get down on the floor and play with his son. But if his mom or sister and cousin are there then they will play with him and see that he is happy. So I am debating it so hard. Problem is lazy ass doesn't wake up until 12-2 so I have to wait to see if he is even taking him today. I wake up at f**king 6 am every morning. Make breakfast, change diapers, clean the kitchen, my room, and the living room, and then sit and play on the floor with Charlie until nap time. Then after nap we go to the park or do errands that we have to do. He loves riding in the car with me, it's our special alone time to jam out to music. And then if I have money I always try to get him a treat for being such a good, patient baby when I have to do long or tedious errands.

user banned Due January 20; 33 kids; North Carolina 14662 posts
27th Jun '13
Quoting Charlie's Lovely Mommy:" You are so right. His mother has been supper supportive of helping with Charlie when she can (She wakes ... [snip!] ... if I have money I always try to get him a treat for being such a good, patient baby when I have to do long or tedious errands. "



And that all makes you a damn good mother!
I know you're giving him the benefit of the doubt, and allowing him to be in Charlie's life. But I say until he can actually prove that he is trying, i.e a job, a place to live, at least going to meetings, that he doesn't get that chance.
Also, what does he mean that if you file for support, that he owes the state not you? Technically, he would pay the state and the state pays you, so yes. But it's still paying you.

Snow 1 child; Storybrooke, ME, United States 34017 posts
27th Jun '13

He's trying to play the pity card. You should definitely still file.

Charlie's Lovely Mommy 1 child; Granville, Massachusetts 1794 posts
27th Jun '13
Quoting Pirate Hooker {BAMW}:" And that all makes you a damn good mother! I know you're giving him the benefit of the doubt, and ... [snip!] ... that he owes the state not you? Technically, he would pay the state and the state pays you, so yes. But it's still paying you."


Exactly. He acts like he doesn't owe me anything. Even though he stole 200 dollars from me this past year saying he way paying my car insurance (Which I was still on his policy at the time because it was cheaper) and he spent it on dope and my car got impounded one evening when I was driving to his house to go get my son. Which sucked and cost me even more money. And then when he was clean the first time he stole my car saying he needed it to go to an NA meeting, and my debit card so he could go to the bar, and buy a rack and hang out with his friends. I literally had to give my baby to his mother and drive her car down to his friends house creaming at all of them and slapped the shit out of him. So in return he gave me about 180$ worth of weed to sell, which I really didn't want to but my bills were due and I was in major trouble. So I just sold to friends and was able to pay my overdue car insurance payment and treat my son to a day at the zoo. Then he bitched that all that money wasn't for me and that I actually owed him money. He honestly thinks that he doesn't owe me any money at all. I can't even imagine what he's thinking. It goes to the state like you said, but they give me 80% of it a month!!! And he only has to pay f**king 18 dollars a week. Spange if you have to, borrow money from friends, do manual labor under the table. He's just a lazy f**k, but he is my child's father and I have to deal with it for my child. And thank you so much!! Sometimes I feel like I don't do enough for my child, but I try my hardest. Quitting dope cold turkey, spending every day with him making sure he gets to do at least one fun thing that's just for him. It's hard man. I'm only 19 and I have to deal with this shit, it's really hard.

Charlie's Lovely Mommy 1 child; Granville, Massachusetts 1794 posts
27th Jun '13

The biggest problem for me, and the only reason why I haven't mailed the papers is because I'm still in love with Daniel. I was a teenager when he got me pregnant, and I still haven't let go of the idea of us with careers, and our own house, with more children, love, respect, and happiness. Which is why he can wrap me around his finger. All he has to say is that he misses and loves me and I become that little 17 year old girl again. Trusting him, as always. Getting screwed over, as always. How do I break that. How do I muster up the strength to just mail the letter?

user banned Due January 20; 33 kids; North Carolina 14662 posts
27th Jun '13
Quoting Charlie's Lovely Mommy:" The biggest problem for me, and the only reason why I haven't mailed the papers is because I'm still ... [snip!] ... him, as always. Getting screwed over, as always. How do I break that. How do I muster up the strength to just mail the letter?"



Do it for Charlie.

Charlie's Lovely Mommy 1 child; Granville, Massachusetts 1794 posts
27th Jun '13
Quoting Pirate Hooker {BAMW}:" Do it for Charlie."


You are so right. I just need someone to slap me the f**k in the face. That a*****e has done nothing but cost me money, taken away my childhood, and caused me grief and pain. The only thin he ever did that was good was give me my beautiful child, which thank god he looks nothing like his father because then I wouldn't have to look at his face. He got all my looks and I am so happy about it. Here's a little snapshot because I think he is just so cute: 3532_10200142512558528_1898310401_n.jpg
Gotta do it for my baby. He is my everything. I will do it today. f**k him. If I need help I will take what I can get from his family (since he will probably be in jail)

user banned Due January 20; 33 kids; North Carolina 14662 posts
27th Jun '13

It's all about that little man, and that's the only reason you should ever need

Minion Due September 30 (girl); 2 kids; ., GA, United States 21131 posts
27th Jun '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Charlie's Lovely Mommy:</b>" So BD finally emailed and called me last night, but I have a feeling he only did because I was filling ... [snip!] ... get a job at mcdonald's or something. I dunno, I'm still so pissed that I can't think clearly. Let me know what you think. "</blockquote>




That letter screams bullshit to me. I've seen a lot of BS and that's it.