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~The Lunar Flower~ 2 kids; Alabama 6748 posts
27th Jun '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting izzy+Ethan:</b>" yes and he tells me then i try not to do it ..he however makes no effort to change or not swear ...im ... [snip!] ... all day. just cause it the weekend doesn't mean your job as a parent is on break to ....he doesnt understand parenting it 24/7 "</blockquote>



I understand wanting help but you have to sit down with him when he's not pissed, when you aren't pissed & tell him what's going through your mind & what you want to be changed. Maybe he has problems with things too. Being a SAHM is a 24/7 job. He has a job outside of that too & putting both together is very stressful for some people. Just try to talk it out as best as you can. If he doesn't listen to you at all or completely acts like it doesn't matter, then tell him you would like to separate for now.

izzy+Ethan 2 kids; Edmonton, Alberta 4056 posts
27th Jun '13
Quoting ~The Lunar Flower~:" <blockquote><b>Quoting izzy+Ethan:</b>" yes and he tells me then i try not to do it ... [snip!] ... If he doesn't listen to you at all or completely acts like it doesn't matter, then tell him you would like to separate for now."


i haven't done a complete sit down but i have talk calmly to him about everything here and there..maybe a sit down will be good. I understand he works a lot and supports this family...however i know that when i go to school i will still be the one cleaning up and cooking and doing everything. i kinda feel like whats the point on being with him if hes not gonna help besides money wise?



( i know its wrong but just trying to get everything out)

~The Lunar Flower~ 2 kids; Alabama 6748 posts
27th Jun '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting ♥ Mrs. S ♥:</b>" DH can't even handle it when I leave the kids with him for a few hours, lol. He's told me that he doesn't ... [snip!] ... He's told me that he doesn't know how I do it. He played this song when I got home: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1VJkFhpE1Pg"</blockquote>



LOL! I feel like doing the majority is my job as a SAHM personally. I love being a mom. Yes, it's tiring, stressful & downright hard sometimes. I wouldn't have it any other way though. I love my baby & taking care of him like I do makes me feel like my job is just as good as DH's. I guess that's why I'm not nervous having 2 babies that are a year apart.

♥ Mrs. S ♥ Due September 20; 2 kids; Venezuela 13625 posts
27th Jun '13
Quoting izzy+Ethan:" Maybe i seriously have a bad way with words... it nots just the swearing and anger he doesn't help with ... [snip!] ... point in asking if he gonna do what he wants. whats the point of talking to him about whats bugging me if he doesnt listen. "


Could you leave the kids with him for a few hours by himself to show him what it is like? Also on the weekends you could plan fun family activities to get him out of the house with you and the kids. (like going to a zoo, beach, museum ect.) Also it could help to write him a letter explaining how he makes you feel and that you care for him and want to work on your relationship (when you are not angry) .

~The Lunar Flower~ 2 kids; Alabama 6748 posts
27th Jun '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting izzy+Ethan:</b>" i haven't done a complete sit down but i have talk calmly to him about everything here and there..maybe ... [snip!] ... point on being with him if hes not gonna help besides money wise? ( i know its wrong but just trying to get everything out)"</blockquote>



I think a sit down would do good for both of you. I know your stressed, you have a right to be. Vent here for awhile & go punch pillows or something lol. This is gonna sound mean but men are stupid, we have to spell it out completely for them & show them how something feels or affects us for them to understand. Also, when you go to school I firmly believe that household chores should be somewhat split. He should at least cover garbage duty & help out with the kids.

izzy+Ethan 2 kids; Edmonton, Alberta 4056 posts
27th Jun '13
Quoting ♥ Mrs. S ♥:" Could you leave the kids with him for a few hours by himself to show him what it is like? Also on the ... [snip!] ... explaining how he makes you feel and that you care for him and want to work on your relationship (when you are not angry) ."


Zoo= boring (his words)
swimming = equals lets go with out the kids
i have left him with the kids for a little bit but he manages do let DD do whatever and DS to sit untill he hungry then hell feed him



When DD was three months old i was working part time and when i worked he looked after her only instead of holding her to feed her he would prop up the bottle with a blanket so he could play games



i know he wants what we had before kids back, he wants just me and him time...yesterday he even said he wants to go to BC next summer for a week with out the kids. i want to do as much as i can with my kids as long as i can. my mom growing up always chose men before her kids we never got invited to go do stuff with her BF or w/e. i dont want that i want my kids included in activities/camping adventures!



right now the kids are young so every sunday we go to a movie while the in laws babysit..thats all the together time with no kids we get right now

♥ Mrs. S ♥ Due September 20; 2 kids; Venezuela 13625 posts
27th Jun '13
Quoting izzy+Ethan:" yes and he tells me then i try not to do it ..he however makes no effort to change or not swear ...im ... [snip!] ... all day. just cause it the weekend doesn't mean your job as a parent is on break to ....he doesnt understand parenting it 24/7 "


I'd try to get him out of the house with you and the kids on weekends. Whether it's going to hang out with friends/family or other fun activities. I'd be furious if my husband spent his weekends on the computer or playing video games.

izzy+Ethan 2 kids; Edmonton, Alberta 4056 posts
27th Jun '13
Quoting ~The Lunar Flower~:" <blockquote><b>Quoting izzy+Ethan:</b>" i haven't done a complete sit down but i have ... [snip!] ... firmly believe that household chores should be somewhat split. He should at least cover garbage duty & help out with the kids."


i do to ...garbage is already a pain in the ass with him, his car is right beside the garbage bin so i dont get why in the morning he cant just take it out...maybe i just truly dont understand men

♥ Mrs. S ♥ Due September 20; 2 kids; Venezuela 13625 posts
27th Jun '13
Quoting izzy+Ethan:" Zoo= boring (his words) swimming = equals lets go with out the kids i have left him with the kids for ... [snip!] ... are young so every sunday we go to a movie while the in laws babysit..thats all the together time with no kids we get right now"


Tell him that the zoo might be boring for him, but it's not about him. That kind of stuff is fun for the kids & like it or not he helped make them.
I sign DH up for Daddy & Me classes through the local school and I signed our 3 year old up for T-ball this summer with DH. I literally have to do all the activity planning for our family.