Reply
how would you feel if S ♥ J ♥ L 1 child; 3 angel babies; Philadelphia, Pennsylvania 3656 posts
27th Jun '13

you LO's grandparents, who were severe alcoholics, started drinking again?



SO's parents recently started drinking again about 3 weeks ago, and we live in the apartment below them so we saw all the empty beer cans in the trash on trash day.



I ran out of room in our fridge the other day, so I asked if I could keep a piece of meat in their freezer, and when I went in to get it - the fridge was FULL of alcohol. Never in 4 years did I ever see them drink, and SO said never in 20 years has there been alcohol in the house since they have been sober from alcohol that long.



His dad recently relapsed on drugs about 2 years ago as well and was the reason SO relapsed and we split for a while (his dad would just leave perks around the house)



This whole thing just makes me uncomfortable. Me and SO are both 2 years sober of drugs and it's just awkward. I've noticed more and more beer boxes on trash day, and more and more times they don't see DS during the day (compared to always coming down to our apartment to hang).



I just don't know what to think and had to vent since SO doesn't want to talk about it because he is so upset & dissapointed in them.



I mean, they're adults ad can make their own decisions. But I wasn't cool with SO's dad bringing over a drug user from their work to hangout on the swing in my back yard (which is OUR swing in our part of the property).



things are just fishy.



It would be a totally different story if we didn't live right below them. I wouldn't care as much. I'm just worried with their behavior lately, and the increase in drinking so suddenly and the weird choice of people his dad is bringing over to their house. I don't want DS around that shit. I didn't give up drugs & alcohol for his parents to bring it around DS. His dad was even drunk the other night when I came home and knocked on our door to ask me for something and wanted to play with DS. I said "no, maybe when you're sober."



how would you ladies approach this?

DeidreLC 1 child; Spotsylvania, Virginia 1039 posts
27th Jun '13

I have no idea. I need help with my mother, too. I live with her, though. She drinks 3 bottles of wine, and maybe a 6 pack of beer a day. She even had 2 bottles when she was watching my son, they were at the house by themselves. I keep telling her she needs to calm down with the drinking, especially since she's on morphine and percocet, but she just denies she has an issue. I'll be watching the replies on this one.

S ♥ J ♥ L 1 child; 3 angel babies; Philadelphia, Pennsylvania 3656 posts
27th Jun '13
Quoting DeidreLC:" I have no idea. I need help with my mother, too. I live with her, though. She drinks 3 bottles of wine, ... [snip!] ... since she's on morphine and percocet, but she just denies she has an issue. I'll be watching the replies on this one. "


oh dear god. I would be furious if she were drinking and watching my child. That would be it for me.

Shealene Schuckers Due September 15; 1 child; Pennsylvania 384 posts
27th Jun '13
Quoting DeidreLC:" I have no idea. I need help with my mother, too. I live with her, though. She drinks 3 bottles of wine, ... [snip!] ... since she's on morphine and percocet, but she just denies she has an issue. I'll be watching the replies on this one. "


3 bottles of wine AND a 6 pack...jeeeze...I think I'd be dead. But yeah, there's some alcoholics and drug abusers in my family, I just don't ever bring my daughter around them. It's like, wow what happens if she needs to go to the hospital and they're hammered. And drunk people are freaking unpredictable, definitely not something you want your babies around. I hope you figure something out OP, I feel terrible for you and the fact you have to deal with that :(

S ♥ J ♥ L 1 child; 3 angel babies; Philadelphia, Pennsylvania 3656 posts
27th Jun '13
Quoting Shealene Schuckers:" 3 bottles of wine AND a 6 pack...jeeeze...I think I'd be dead. But yeah, there's some alcoholics and ... [snip!] ... want your babies around. I hope you figure something out OP, I feel terrible for you and the fact you have to deal with that :("


that's exactly why I worry. I mean hey, maybe they feel as if they can handle the alcohol now and not abuse it, but from I've seen: they always have a beer in hand or in cup and their fridge is LOADED and the amount I see in their trash can at the end f every day is shocking to me.



SO doesn't want to talk about it, so I came here. Like, how do I know when is the right time to keep DS away from them? Keep an eye on their behavior and determine then? Or should I keep DS from them if the drinking and behavior continues or worsens? They're his grandparents and I know they love him, but judging from what I've seen SO's dad like on drugs, and what SO has told me about growing up with 2 alcoholic parents (they weren't fully sober all 20 years, they just never had it in the house), I don't want DS to be around that or see that.

Shealene Schuckers Due September 15; 1 child; Pennsylvania 384 posts
27th Jun '13
Quoting S ♥ J ♥ L:" that's exactly why I worry. I mean hey, maybe they feel as if they can handle the alcohol now and not ... [snip!] ... (they weren't fully sober all 20 years, they just never had it in the house), I don't want DS to be around that or see that. "

I know it's a tough choice but I'd be like, "Either you quit the drugs and the drinking or you don't see your grandchild" It may seem extremely harsh, but you don't want to risk your child being around that. It's an awful predicament to be put in.

S ♥ J ♥ L 1 child; 3 angel babies; Philadelphia, Pennsylvania 3656 posts
27th Jun '13
Quoting Shealene Schuckers:" I know it's a tough choice but I'd be like, "Either you quit the drugs and the drinking or you don't ... [snip!] ... It may seem extremely harsh, but you don't want to risk your child being around that. It's an awful predicament to be put in."


I know 100% they're drinking, but I have a weird hunch his dad might be using here and there again. I just don't know when is the point to say this to them.



I guess I'll give it a little while and see if this is something they are past and can control now, which I don't believe an addict can ever recover and be okay to use their drug/alcohol of choice again.

Shealene Schuckers Due September 15; 1 child; Pennsylvania 384 posts
27th Jun '13
Quoting S ♥ J ♥ L:" I know 100% they're drinking, but I have a weird hunch his dad might be using here and there again. ... [snip!] ... and can control now, which I don't believe an addict can ever recover and be okay to use their drug/alcohol of choice again."

I don't know what the right time would be to say that. I have a mouth that just says stuff as soon as I'm thinking it, so the next time they asked to see my kid, I'd just say it. But you're right, an addict is ALWAYS struggling, so it's hard to know if they'll ever stop. And even if they happen to stop, I would still want to tell them "hey, if you want to spend time with your grandchild then you can't be doing this immature shit". I hope it all works out for you and your family.

S ♥ J ♥ L 1 child; 3 angel babies; Philadelphia, Pennsylvania 3656 posts
27th Jun '13
Quoting Shealene Schuckers:" I don't know what the right time would be to say that. I have a mouth that just says stuff as soon as ... [snip!] ... spend time with your grandchild then you can't be doing this immature shit". I hope it all works out for you and your family."


thanks :/