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The anxiety is getting bad again :( Belle De Jour Due October 8 (boy); 2 kids; Kentucky 19017 posts
28th Jun '13

I had a good few weeks where I actually didn't think about the girls being "dead in their room".
But this last couple of days it came back with a vengeance :(
Like last night, neither of the girls coughed all that much in their sleep and they slept through the night for the first time in a while and I literally got up like once an hour and had to sit outside their room telling myself that they were fine.
I DID have to go in there to make sure they were breathing once but was able to leave them alone other than that.
Then today Reilly had to come home from daycare because she is running a 103 degree fever and we napped in my bed. I woke up AT LEAST 3-4 times in the last 2 hours to make sure she was still breathing and she was RIGHT next to me :cry:
It would be one thing if this stupid shit was just a fear that I was able to just get over immediately but it's not. It completely overwhelms me and consumes me. I really think my children are dead and that if I don't check on them that they will die.
I know it's just left over quilt/trauma from Isaac but it's killing me.
I stopped taking my anti depressants because they were making things worse and I was gaining weight. And I can for the most part control my feelings now (unless I'm drinking), but this whole thinking my kids are dead all the time thing is killing me. :(

White Chocolate Milk 1 child; Chelsea, Alabama 12303 posts
28th Jun '13

Have you thought about trying some anxiety meds? Have you looked into any type of counseling or therapy? That may end up helping more in the long run than any medication will.

Belle De Jour Due October 8 (boy); 2 kids; Kentucky 19017 posts
28th Jun '13
Quoting White Chocolate Milk:" Have you thought about trying some anxiety meds? Have you looked into any type of counseling or therapy? That may end up helping more in the long run than any medication will."


I have anxiety meds but they told me to only take them when I'm having an actual anxiety attack. Maybe I could just take it before bed?
I would LOVE to go see someone about it but I just don't have the money for it right now. :(

White Chocolate Milk 1 child; Chelsea, Alabama 12303 posts
28th Jun '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Belle De Jour:</b>" I have anxiety meds but they told me to only take them when I'm having an actual anxiety attack. Maybe ... [snip!] ... I could just take it before bed? I would LOVE to go see someone about it but I just don't have the money for it right now. :("</blockquote>




Taking it before bed could help. Me personally I would probably split one pill and take a half twice a day. Maybe you can see if they can give you something for more daily usage instead of just the one and done?
I understand how that is unfortunately. Maybe you can look for support groups in your local area?

Belle De Jour Due October 8 (boy); 2 kids; Kentucky 19017 posts
28th Jun '13
Quoting White Chocolate Milk:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Belle De Jour:</b>" I have anxiety meds but they told me to ... [snip!] ... of just the one and done? I understand how that is unfortunately. Maybe you can look for support groups in your local area?"


Yeah, I'm up for an appointment with my doc anyways. I'll probably talk to her about it then.
Thanks for answering.