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How would you feel if........ sara- 1 child; British Columbia 455 posts
29th Jun '13

Okay, it's kind of taking a lot for me to post this, but i need others opinion.....



here is the scenario:
Your husband has a good job.... A job he loves, he makes more than enough to pay rent and bills and everything..... BUT..... he resents you for not working..... raising your child is not enough..... He needs you to work, even if it's part time, even if it's something that makes you completely miserable.......
This is our issue right now, I have absolutely no problem working...... It just sucks that i've gone to school a bunch..... and have a hard time finding a decent paying job... whereas SO hasnt even graduated, yet he can make over $20 an hour...... Anyway, my point is, is that I am looking for a job, but the pressure from SO is driving me crazy, plus taking care of our 4yro....... how would you feel.......???

Mama Van D 18 kids; Unity, Maine 2454 posts
29th Jun '13

I would feel like being a full time SAHM is really hard work, and I'd feel really unappreciated if he couldn't even acknowledge that.

Captain Obvious 2 kids; Havana, Cuba 25634 posts
29th Jun '13

I would feel hurt.

Squeaky McGee 2 kids; 3 angel babies; Indiana 63811 posts
29th Jun '13

Unappreciated, I guess. I work outside of the home, though, and would go crazy if I had to stay home all the time. I'd want to work, even if it was part-time or PRN. I would feel like I wasn't contributing financially otherwise, but that's just me.

sara- 1 child; British Columbia 455 posts
29th Jun '13
Quoting Squeaky McGee [35 wks]:" Unappreciated, I guess. I work outside of the home, though, and would go crazy if I had to stay home ... [snip!] ... to work, even if it was part-time or PRN. I would feel like I wasn't contributing financially otherwise, but that's just me."


I appreciate you saying that.... And it's funny, because for most of our 6 year relationship, i actually HAVE worked......... i guess if if I don't work 40+ hrs a week and make $20+ an hr it doesnt matter............ :(

Squeaky McGee 2 kids; 3 angel babies; Indiana 63811 posts
29th Jun '13
Quoting sara-:" I appreciate you saying that.... And it's funny, because for most of our 6 year relationship, i actually ... [snip!] ... i actually HAVE worked......... i guess if if I don't work 40+ hrs a week and make $20+ an hr it doesnt matter............ :("


I'm sorry that he feels that way.

sara- 1 child; British Columbia 455 posts
29th Jun '13
Quoting Squeaky McGee [35 wks]:" I'm sorry that he feels that way."


Yeah, I came in to a bit of a trust fund recently, so I've been helping out a lot...... but yet.... it still doesn't seem like enough... I've taken a couple courses to get certificates, in order to get the job i love and help the family.... yet........ it isn't enough....... heh.......

sara- 1 child; British Columbia 455 posts
29th Jun '13

If there was someone i could talk to at the moment...... it would be very appreciated... as i have no rl friends

sara- 1 child; British Columbia 455 posts
29th Jun '13

Any help is appreciated :) :)

Rebekah 2 kids; Tennessee 5475 posts
29th Jun '13

I'm sorry he feels that way. I would feel hurt and unappreciated. I also work outside of the home 33ish hours a week, so technically not full time, but close. There are times I wish I was a SAHM, but when I am off for more than a few days at a time, I'm missing work. Being a full time SAHM is HARD! I'm curious, when you work, does he help out around the house?

sara- 1 child; British Columbia 455 posts
29th Jun '13
Quoting Rebekah:" I'm sorry he feels that way. I would feel hurt and unappreciated. I also work outside of the home 33ish ... [snip!] ... at a time, I'm missing work. Being a full time SAHM is HARD! I'm curious, when you work, does he help out around the house? "


Over the years we have been together, I have worked anywhere from 5 days a week to 1 days a week......... And no, he doesn't help out around the house... no matter what lol

sara- 1 child; British Columbia 455 posts
29th Jun '13

No matter how much i work, I always do the same amount of housework..........

Squeaky McGee 2 kids; 3 angel babies; Indiana 63811 posts
29th Jun '13
Quoting sara-:" No matter how much i work, I always do the same amount of housework.......... "


Same here. I work full-time, and still do all of the housework. I often wonder what would happen if I died...

Captain Obvious 2 kids; Havana, Cuba 25634 posts
29th Jun '13
Quoting Squeaky McGee [35 wks]:" Same here. I work full-time, and still do all of the housework. I often wonder what would happen if I died..."



I think my husband would starve if I died lol

Rebekah 2 kids; Tennessee 5475 posts
29th Jun '13

That's not cool. I do most of the house work because DH works more hours and usually gets home late, but he always helps me on the weekends and cooks when he can(I hate cooking)



I know every situation is different, but I don't think it's fair when there are more people messing up the house than their are cleaning it lol