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What's the worst that can happen? Pukey McPukerton Due January 15; Ontario 465 posts
29th Jun '13

So my husband left because I refused to abort the baby.... So anywho now he is talking court I committed adultery because I had said the baby isn't his. I only ment it's not his as in he did t have a right to it because how can he leave his family because of this child and say he wanted me to abort blah blah but yet still have this child call him dad??



What can happen?? Like if I would have actually committed adultery (which I didn't) what's the worst that could happen?

I♥RYLEIGH 49 kids; Windsor, Ontario 10434 posts
29th Jun '13

Uhmmm I don't think anything can happen in Ontario. Not quite sure though. I'm sure they'll do a DNA test once the baby is born though.

user banned 2 kids; Hamilton, Ontario 19220 posts
29th Jun '13

yeah, I dont think adultery matters here either

user banned 1 child; Germany 12377 posts
29th Jun '13
Quoting A Beautiful Disaster:" yeah, I dont think adultery matters here either "

:!:

user banned 1 child; Germany 12377 posts
29th Jun '13

If anything it would effect you in a divorce and not anything to do with your child.

Pukey McPukerton Due January 15; Ontario 465 posts
29th Jun '13

Would it effect our children that we already have? I ask because I really just want to write him off he never wanted this child and to be honest I'd be happy just admitting to something I didn't do just so he didn't need to deal with it.

user banned 2 kids; Hamilton, Ontario 19220 posts
29th Jun '13
Quoting Pukey McPukerton:" Would it effect our children that we already have? I ask because I really just want to write him off ... [snip!] ... wanted this child and to be honest I'd be happy just admitting to something I didn't do just so he didn't need to deal with it."


Thats an aweful thing to do to the child if it really is his.

Pukey McPukerton Due January 15; Ontario 465 posts
29th Jun '13

So it would be better that I raise a child and that child knows the man that is pickin up its sibling is their father but he doesn't want them?? To me that would be more cruel... He has made it clear he doesn't want this child and has offered repeatedly to sign over all rights. He is claiming I participated in adultery to receive more time and more say with the older children. In my opinion if anything he joules loose all say and all time but I know that's NOT fair to the children that actually know him.

FroggysMommy 1 child; Golden, Colorado 26139 posts
status 29th Jun '13
Quoting A Beautiful Disaster:" Thats an aweful thing to do to the child if it really is his. "


Why? If a man/woman doesn't want a child, they should be able to sign over their rights. It's sickening that in the US, you aren't allowed to sign over your rights. Basically, you have to say "I slept around" so the other person can sign over their rights because that is the ONLY way they can sign over their rights. At least in Colorado, that's how it works. You can't sign over your rights in Colorado to a single parent unless adultery happened. It's bullshit. So basically, if you committed adultery you can sign over your rights. But if you want to just be a single parent, tough shit you are both stuck raising that child. Tough shit! And it's crap, because two parents raising a child is NOT always the best. A parent that doesn't give a damn is NOT what is best for a child. One parent that loves the child is what is best... two parents that love the child is what is best... two mothers is what is best... two fathers is what is best... the grand parents is what is best... a foster family is what is best... forcing any combination of a family to be there is NOT what is best. Guaranteed. So let the parent that doesn't want to be there to write off his/her rights if that is what is best.



It's such bullshit that certain states don't allow that to happen. If the father wants to sign over the rights, let him!



So my thoughts is.... if you were in a relationship/marriage and didn't want to have an abortion, cool, you have that right. You should never be forced to have an abortion. I fully, 100% support the right to a man not being forced to being a parent though. So the man should have the right to "abort" his rights, so he should be able to sign away his rights and "abort" and sign a paper absolving him of all responsibilities. Of course, he can't agree "Yeah, I want to be a Dad!
And when the going gets tough decide "Eh, this sucks" and walk away. But if he decides in the beginning that he doesn't want to be there, he should be able to walk away. So he should be able to have one of two options... sign away his responsibility and then at the same time, walk away from you (meaning, he can't have his fun time with you too but not have fun time with the kid too) so fully, he needs to walk away from you both, or.... be a Dad and a partner and help you along every step of the way. Sign on the dotted line, be a Dad, and take the next step in life.

mamaluvsher4babies 36 kids; California 4230 posts
29th Jun '13
Quoting FroggysMommy:" Why? If a man/woman doesn't want a child, they should be able to sign over their rights. It's sickening ... [snip!] ... Dad and a partner and help you along every step of the way. Sign on the dotted line, be a Dad, and take the next step in life. "


I agree..except there is some states that do allow the men to sign over rights. I thought it was in all until BG. I was shocked that some states make another man adopt etc..such BS!! My best friends EX HUSBAND signed away his rights after the divorce, crazy!! No child support nothing

FroggysMommy 1 child; Golden, Colorado 26139 posts
status 29th Jun '13
Quoting mamaluvsher4babies:" I agree..except there is some states that do allow the men to sign over rights. I thought it was in ... [snip!] ... man adopt etc..such BS!! My best friends EX HUSBAND signed away his rights after the divorce, crazy!! No child support nothing"


I wish I lived in a state that allowed the termination of rights. It's bullshit that almost 9 years and he's allowed rights. Grrr...

user banned 2 kids; Hamilton, Ontario 19220 posts
30th Jun '13
Quoting FroggysMommy:" Why? If a man/woman doesn't want a child, they should be able to sign over their rights. It's sickening ... [snip!] ... Dad and a partner and help you along every step of the way. Sign on the dotted line, be a Dad, and take the next step in life. "


wow...you really have some feelings about this eh :P




I agree with you 100%, my statement to OP has nothing to do with your side of the argument. OP LIED to him and said the baby wasnt his. If I ever said that to my SO it would crumble his heart and he would probably never speak to me again. IMO, that is a very cruel and hurtful thing to do to a man.



I know she said it because he wanted her to abort, but it still doesnt make it right.



now she wants to go to court saying she DID cheat just to appease him out of the childs life. Thats all way too scandalous.



If they BOTH want to agree to terminating his rights, with him having the full knowledge that this is his child...by all means they should.

loser mom 2 kids; 1 angel baby; GoShox!, KS, United States 9199 posts
status 30th Jun '13

Eh, maybe I have the unpopular opinion here.... but I don't think men should just be allowed to sign away their rights because they don't want to support a child. They don't have to help raise them, but they better pay up. Why should the mom have to carry the financial burden alone??

If you lay down and make a baby, you better support it, too. Don't won't kids, EVER? Get a vasectomy.

loser mom 2 kids; 1 angel baby; GoShox!, KS, United States 9199 posts
status 30th Jun '13
Quoting mamaluvsher4babies:" I agree..except there is some states that do allow the men to sign over rights. I thought it was in ... [snip!] ... man adopt etc..such BS!! My best friends EX HUSBAND signed away his rights after the divorce, crazy!! No child support nothing"


Why did your best friend allow him to do that?

I mean, if she doesn't care about the child support, so be it. I'm just curious.

mamaluvsher4babies 36 kids; California 4230 posts
30th Jun '13
Quoting loser mom {TKO}:" Eh, maybe I have the unpopular opinion here.... but I don't think men should just be allowed to sign ... [snip!] ... burden alone?? If you lay down and make a baby, you better support it, too. Don't won't kids, EVER? Get a vasectomy. "


and if women want abortions cause they dont want a baby get your tubes tied. Sounds kind of silly doesn't it?