Quoting Seneca Thurman:" Take her off facebook, that will solve your social media problem. As for everything else, just sounds ... [snip!] ... up like this, it takes the people around being negative and bad role models to get a child to the level your neice is at. "
Call me a b***h for this, I don't care. You do realize this is a little girl you're talking about? A child that you're openly bad mouthing? I give no shits if she is your niece. I feel really sorry for her. She's clearly very troubled and begging for attention, any kind of attention. I mean shit, even her own family doesn't like her. How sad is that? What she needs is for someone to take an interest in her, someone to show her they care and I mean really care. What's her mother doing while all of this is going on? Does she know or can she not be bothered with it? Someone needs to step up for this little girl before she does end up in big trouble. Poor thing. :?
I think your niece needs help, not judgement.
Quoting ρiηkie ρie:" Call me a b***h for this, I don't care. You do realize this is a little girl you're talking about? A ... [snip!] ... not be bothered with it? Someone needs to step up for this little girl before she does end up in big trouble. Poor thing. :? "
That FB needs to be deactivated like, yesterday. She needs some kind of therapy, I think. Something isn't right and I think it's more than her just naturally being an obnoxious douche.
What have her parents done to address this behavior?
Quoting Dr. Paradigm Shift Ph.D:" That FB needs to be deactivated like, yesterday. She needs some kind of therapy, I think. Something isn't right and I think it's more than her just naturally being an obnoxious douche. "
:!: This too. An 11/12 year old girl has no business having a facebook anyways. Especially not with all the creepers floating around. She sounds just troubled enough that it wouldn't take much for one of them to convince her to meet them either. No bueno.
Quoting SherryandMatt:" sounds like she is doing anything she can for attention... negative attention is better than no attention. ... [snip!] ... for her, i get she's an ass but it has to be her defense mechanism. do you have her login/password??! Does her mom know???? "
Oh I have her password, that's how I know. I seriously sat there just watching what she was saying and logging it and plan on approaching my sister with it.
And you all say she is wanting attention and is attention starved... she gets attention. The family dynamic has plenty of attention.
She is deeply rooted in sports/activities and does lots, I mean LOTS of activities. My niece and nephew have a damn good life and my niece takes it for freaking granted. My nephew used to take it for granted but once he started to get in line for college scholarships he realized how good he has it. The family is together all the time and I'd say every other day of the week is focused on either my niece or nephew. So one day it's my niece, the other day it's my nephew with their various activities. They travel all the time, all over the US and go out of the US, maybe once a year, every other year for sure. The kids definitely have "Let's focus on one kid and do what they want so they feel special" days and they do it often. They have a cozy life and both of their parents have good jobs, especially my sister so money allows them to do well by their kids. They take care of my brother in laws mother so the kids are never home alone.
However, they live about 45 minutes away so I don't know who her real friends are. But she's a bully, if I look at her messages to people it's nothing nice. Seriously, the only nice messages are to boys. One boy in particular is the "love of her life." She will randomly message girls and call them sluts, wh**es, and say "You look like a skank in your picture." For no reason at all. The girls take it in stride and say "I dont want to start problems, please dont message me." But then she will message their boyfriend and say "I just called your girlfriend a wh**e." She is NOT a nice little girl. And the thing about saying someone was going to rape her... no one said that... I mean it was out of left field. Rape hit this family hard... it turned this family upside down. She was never told so she doesnt understand just how hard it hit her mother so I dont expect her to understand but at her age she should understand you cant throw that word around.
Additionally... you dont just harass people randomly and thats all she does. I will look at past messages and my sister will be at work and I see her telling my niece to get offline and its excuses about why not or my niece asking my sister to get her things... my sister works her damn ass off and my brother in law works but not as hard as my sister and only recently did my sister buy anything for herself. The family buys everything for themselves but nothing for my sister. I just hate that my sister is never home and my brother in law doesnt do shit to watch the kids and well... sooner or later my niece is going to pop out a baby. And I am NOT going to pop out that damn spawn... thats for damn sure.
I dont know how to approach it with my sister in a way that is sensitive to my niece.... but also sensitive to the fact that she was raped, ya know? I dont want history to repeat but its a different situation... my niece is putting herself in harms way, my sister was in a different situation. Or.... she may say a boy did something when he didnt. I dont want to ruin a boys life when he didnt do anything or when she consented. Its a bad situation all around.
And yes, veggie burgler, I was sitting on her fb for hours. When she mentioned rape and there was no proof of it, your interest is piqued. When is saying she is going to beat someones ass, and then telling a boy "I love you, what would you do if you met up with me, could we meet up tomorrow, where can we meet up tomorrow" hell yes I am going to sit there and watch to see if she has plans and thwart them so she doesn't meet up with someone she has never even met up with offline but supposedly goes to her middle school.
I have read your previous posts about her and I think she seriously needs counseling. It's more to it than people not liking her, this child has problems. I'm sad for her. It would be best to get her some help at this age rather than later when things will have more of a chance to spin out of control on a larger scale.
Also, her Facebook needs to be deactivated and Internet access limited to a nice G rated level.
Quoting FroggysMommy:" Oh I have her password, that's how I know. I seriously sat there just watching what she was saying and ... [snip!] ... them so she doesn't meet up with someone she has never even met up with offline but supposedly goes to her middle school."
The kid has problems and needs a psychiatrist, that's the end of it. I think you just need to be straight up with your sister and say, look, this is NOT okay and it's NOT normal. If you don't...that little girl will be trying to get pregnant at 13 and on Maury.
What would I do if I were her aunt? Nothing. She's not my child. If her parents allow her on the internet unsupervised, that is their decision. To be completely honest, none of what you have described seems that far off from some of my fifth graders. They don't know what they are talking about, nor do they mean it. They say things purely for attention, which she is obviously lacking. I think it's a little odd you sat on her Facebook for hours... I think you need to back off a little. You just openly admitted you don't like her, so I really don't buy the "concerned aunt" position. Seems like you are just trying to gather information to relay to her parents to get her into trouble.
Look, I do get it, it is disturbing to see/hear things coming like that from a child's mouth. You have to remember, she is a child, she isn't laughing about rape, she is saying that because it is a hot topic that will get her the most attention. If ANYTHING, you need to relay to her parents that they might want to incorporate more family time into their schedule. I don't think she needs psychiatric help. Kids this age say idiotic things all the time, they very rarely mean it or really know the extent of what they are saying. Sounds like she is just a normal attention starved pre-teen girl to me. *shrug*
Your niece needs counseling and more discipline. However if her mom and dad aren't giving a shit its on them not you. I don't blame you for disliking her at all as I have been there. Maybe if she is evaluated by a professional she will learn how to properly interact with other children. If anything she sounds like a good candidate for a girls boot camp. She needs to learn how to be a child and see just how good she has it.
She NEEDS counseling. She also could benefit from a big sister/little sister program. It will give someone in her life that "wants" to spend time with her maybe?