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My mom asked to be the first to bathe baby? CokiMonsta 1 child; Virginia 341 posts
2nd Jul '13

I know that without her, I would have been screwed for the most part...but this seems a little like overstepping boundaries to me.



My sister got the tummy tub after a lot of discussions about finding the right Eco friendly tub- I liked the concept but didn't expect anybody to actually get it so I was pretty excited.



My mom asked to be the first person to bathe my baby girl once she is here...an experience I really though I should share with her father, and when she noticed me get uncomfortable at her request she snapped "do you even know how slippery babies are? Nope probably not".




My mom can be....pretty controlling, I kind of sense that she's going to try to take everything over once baby is here. For example I'm not really religious, or interested in shoving religion down her throat, but my mom has already brought church dresses for her and is badically telling me my child is going to church.




I really don't know how to establish boundaries before she gets here without my mom having a major fit, but something definitely has to be done...

Squeaky McGee [12 wks] Due May 7; 2 kids; 3 angel babies; Indiana 65300 posts
2nd Jul '13

Just let her think she's giving the first bath. :D



I understand what you mean about boundaries, though. My MIL is controlling, and often times I just let her have her way, because I don't want to make her cry.

blah 17 kids; Alabama 7639 posts
2nd Jul '13

my dad held my baby first after birth and he gave her the first bath in the hospital and at home ;) i was glad to let him. i have her forever and he will have those memories forever

hobbit* 3 kids; New Zealand 44783 posts
2nd Jul '13

My mum was the first to bath my first child. But I was scared as shit about dropping him.
Hope you can get some boundaries up, I find my mum is more (umm what's the word..?) now than when the children were tiny babies. Now that my youngest is crawling, a few days ago she told me I need to be careful with little things and cords and stuff she can get into. Really? No shit! Haven't had a crawling baby before... :roll:
She means well though so I just suck it up. She's not a controlling type she's a living involved type, so I know when she says things its in mine or the kids best Interest, not her over stepping anything.

Mummy-2-2-Monsters TTC since Aug 2014; 2 kids; Seven Hills, Australia 10040 posts
2nd Jul '13

To me the first bath really isn't the big of a deal.. The nurse have our daughter her first bath in the hospital as a demonstration.



But if you want to be the first.. Put your foot down and let her know you mean business. Tell her how it is and will be. She your daughter.. This is your time now. She had her time with you and she needs to let you have your time and back off.

hobbit* 3 kids; New Zealand 44783 posts
2nd Jul '13

Your hospital might bath the baby first anyway

CokiMonsta 1 child; Virginia 341 posts
2nd Jul '13

My hospital states that it allows both parents to bathe the baby first, but I'm really referring to the first bath at home.
I mean it's great she wants to be involved, but she had 3 children and got to do all that first time stuff with nobody trying to butt in and take over, this is my first child and if not me I know for a fact my boyfriend would be extremely hurt if she did it first.



It's going to be very strange trying to balance boyfriend and my mom out together @___@ I can foresee many issues.

Mummy-2-2-Monsters TTC since Aug 2014; 2 kids; Seven Hills, Australia 10040 posts
2nd Jul '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting CokiMonsta:</b>" My hospital states that it allows both parents to bathe the baby first, but I'm really referring to the ... [snip!] ... it first. It's going to be very strange trying to balance boyfriend and my mom out together @___@ I can foresee many issues."</blockquote>




Does she live with you or something?

CokiMonsta 1 child; Virginia 341 posts
2nd Jul '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Mummy-2-2-Monsters:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting CokiMonsta:</b>" My hospital states that it allows both parents ... [snip!] ... boyfriend and my mom out together @___@ I can foresee many issues."</blockquote> Does she live with you or something?"</blockquote>



I live with her after moving out of bf's a few months back.

RadioactiveCat Due November 8 (boy); 1 child; Roanoke, VA, United States 22884 posts
2nd Jul '13

The hospital did the first bath for us.

Mummy-2-2-Monsters TTC since Aug 2014; 2 kids; Seven Hills, Australia 10040 posts
2nd Jul '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting CokiMonsta:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Mummy-2-2-Monsters:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting ... [snip!] ... Does she live with you or something?"</blockquote> I live with her after moving out of bf's a few months back."</blockquote>



Then unless your daughter is in your arms 24/7 your mother is bound to do some of the "firsts" instead of you doing them first. It's inevitable sad to say. You can have a word with her of your feelings and tell her you don't want her to do certain things and hope she will listen.

[Shelly&Dexter&Felix] 2 kids; 1 angel baby; London, United Kingdom 5190 posts
status 2nd Jul '13

Me and my fiance basically made my mum bathe dexter fir the first time! lol (he was 12 days old because the health visitor told us to wait for he cord to fall off before giving him his first proper bath). We were so scared of dropping him or doing it wrong we thought we'd get someone that knew what they were doing to show us! It Worked well, my mum got some great bonding time with him and me and Dave got to take photos of his first bath without wet hands! :)

Housewife & Co 1 child; Washington, District of Columbia 600 posts
2nd Jul '13

Honestly it can be really scary giving them their first baths at home. Newbs are so tiny & slippery. You're probably going to want help, especially with it being your first but if its something you really want to do then just tell her. There's nothing she can do about it & you can't really stop her from being mad.

loving little luna 1 child; Stavanger, Norway 835 posts
2nd Jul '13
Quoting CokiMonsta:" My hospital states that it allows both parents to bathe the baby first, but I'm really referring to the ... [snip!] ... it first. It's going to be very strange trying to balance boyfriend and my mom out together @___@ I can foresee many issues."

are you planning on breastfeeding?

Adan's Mama :) 1 child; Phenix City, Alabama 457 posts
2nd Jul '13

My mom asked to give lo his first bath and i let her...i also let her cut his nails for the first few months. Those arent the big firsts that i would make a big deal about.