Reply

Cast Your Vote:

    • Yes, he has the right. -- Votes: 23
    • No, it's completely her choice. -- Votes: 18
Agree or Disagree?? D&D user banned
4th Jul '13

Okay, so my brother and his girlfriend are expecting their first child.
They've had 1 ultrasound. They are supposed to be getting another one in the next couple of weeks to find out the sex of the baby.
The mother is fairly young (just turned 20), and has led a VERY sheltered life. She was raised by super strict Mormons, and so now she's hit a rebellious stage. Every bit of advice my mom gives her, she does the exact opposite. My brother says it's because "she doesn't like feeling like someone is telling her what to do". Even if it is risking the baby's safety.



Anyway, the mother says that she doesn't want to get another ultrasound. She claims she did research, and ultrasounds are dangerous because they can cause the baby to have holes in it's bones. My brother told her that they are getting another one, because he wants to know if he's having a boy or girl, so he can prepare (they can't agree on a name and he loves to shop). She told him
"I'm not getting another ultrasound. It's my baby, and it's none of your damn business what I do."

I know, 98% of BG is women's rights, women's choice, it's her body, yada yada.
However, it is his baby as well. Is he wrong to try to convince her or "make" her get an ultrasound, even if she says she doesn't want one? If the only reason she doesn't want one is to be defiant and rebellious?



I don't feel like this is the same scenario as an abortion or something of that nature. I think it only bother's me so much because she told him that it's HER baby and none of his damn business. :?

Boobo&bugs 2 kids; Simpsonville, South Carolina 7806 posts
4th Jul '13

I'd be trying to convince her to get another too. Not so much to find out boy or girl if she doesn't want to know. But because that's when they measure everything important like heart chambers and what not. If I was going to give birth to a baby that needed a lot Of medical attention as soon as It was born, I'd want both myself and my doctors to be prepared to step right into action.

user banned 1 child; :), :), United States 5380 posts
4th Jul '13

I don't know much about ultrasounds. But it's not like getting an x-ray, right? Idk... she's a freakin b***h for what she said though. The rebellious teenage crap needs to stop, she's having a baby, maybe she'll give birth to some sense too.

user banned Due September 18 (boy); 1 child; California 21617 posts
4th Jul '13

No one can force her to have an ultrasound if she doesn't want one. Your brother needs to take her feelings into consideration and not try to force her into something just because of HIS wants.

3sACrowd 3 kids; Alaska 3397 posts
4th Jul '13

I didn't know she could get pregnant by immaculate conception. She's pretty awesome. He should show her some research about ultrasounds and try to convince her. Ultimately, he can't TELL her what to do.

user banned 1 child; Jamaica, OH, United States 7126 posts
4th Jul '13
Quoting kate & tilly:" I'd be trying to convince her to get another too. Not so much to find out boy or girl if she doesn't ... [snip!] ... lot Of medical attention as soon as It was born, I'd want both myself and my doctors to be prepared to step right into action."


That was another thing we were trying to explain to her. She didn't find out she was pregnant until she was nearly 4 months, and the first ultrasound they did they didn't even give her an EDD or anything, it was done at the hospital they just did a check of the baby I guess?
She's done some risky things since she found out she was pregnant as well, so I'm pretty sure an ultrasound isn't going to harm her child more than the other stuff she's done.

user banned 1 child; Jamaica, OH, United States 7126 posts
4th Jul '13
Quoting Abby Normal:" I don't know much about ultrasounds. But it's not like getting an x-ray, right? Idk... she's a freakin ... [snip!] ... she said though. The rebellious teenage crap needs to stop, she's having a baby, maybe she'll give birth to some sense too."


She's told my mom on several different occasions that she wishes she could grow a puppy, or a kitten, anything but a baby. She also said she didn't need to learn how to take care of a baby (she knows nothing about infants), because my brother could do it all since he's so good at taking care of HER, he can take care of them both. :roll:

3sACrowd 3 kids; Alaska 3397 posts
4th Jul '13
Quoting Laneys*Mama:" She's told my mom on several different occasions that she wishes she could grow a puppy, or a kitten, ... [snip!] ... infants), because my brother could do it all since he's so good at taking care of HER, he can take care of them both. :roll:"

Oh man, if he wasn't having a child with her, I would have suggested he run...run FAR away and never look back.

user banned 1 child; Jamaica, OH, United States 7126 posts
4th Jul '13
Quoting 3sACrowd:" I didn't know she could get pregnant by immaculate conception. She's pretty awesome. He should show her ... [snip!] ... awesome. He should show her some research about ultrasounds and try to convince her. Ultimately, he can't TELL her what to do."


She's not a strict Mormon, her parents are. Her and one of her older brothers (who happens to be my brother's best friend) have rebelled from the family. She hasn't told her parents yet, because she knows that she'll be disowned.
She got kicked out of her college for drinking mountain dew.

user banned 1 child; :), :), United States 5380 posts
4th Jul '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Laneys*Mama:</b>" She's told my mom on several different occasions that she wishes she could grow a puppy, or a kitten, ... [snip!] ... infants), because my brother could do it all since he's so good at taking care of HER, he can take care of them both. :roll:"</blockquote>



Or he can take complete care of the baby and kick her looney butt to the curb.

user banned 1 child; Jamaica, OH, United States 7126 posts
4th Jul '13
Quoting Mama♥Sweetpea[28]:" No one can force her to have an ultrasound if she doesn't want one. Your brother needs to take her feelings into consideration and not try to force her into something just because of HIS wants."


I know that no one can force her. Do you think it's right of her to not consider HIS feelings as well though?

user banned 3 kids; Los Angeles, California 54034 posts
4th Jul '13

Uh, well the 'holes in bones' thing is the stupidest f**king thing I've ever heard, BUT-your question was does she have the right to refuse another ultrasound, and the answer to that is yes. It's not an opinion or up for debate. That is her right, as stupid as her reasoning may be.



If he wants another ultrasound, he can go right ahead and get his belly jellied up and see what they find.

user banned 3 kids; Los Angeles, California 54034 posts
4th Jul '13
Quoting Laneys*Mama:" She's not a strict Mormon, her parents are. Her and one of her older brothers (who happens to be my ... [snip!] ... told her parents yet, because she knows that she'll be disowned. She got kicked out of her college for drinking mountain dew."


Well no wonder she's all fucked up, no offense to anyone.

user banned 1 child; :), :), United States 5380 posts
4th Jul '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Laneys*Mama:</b>" She's not a strict Mormon, her parents are. Her and one of her older brothers (who happens to be my ... [snip!] ... told her parents yet, because she knows that she'll be disowned. She got kicked out of her college for drinking mountain dew."</blockquote>



Uhhh... her parents are crazy.

user banned 1 child; Jamaica, OH, United States 7126 posts
4th Jul '13
Quoting Dr. Paradigm Shift Ph.D:" Well no wonder she's all fucked up, no offense to anyone. "


She wasn't even allowed to watch The Disney Channel growing up. They're that strict.
She does have some serious issues. I try to be understanding but sometimes it's extremely difficult. She has some serious book smarts, she's very well spoken, she's just not smart. I worry about her with my niece or nephew.