Quoting ℐαzmчn:" I had a friend who's DH got back into drugs. It wasn't around the kids at first but then when they were ... [snip!] ... if it doesn't you need to be prepared to put your foot down. I really hope it works out for the best for him and your family!"
He wouldn't come here.
Hence why he's taken off for a week. I'm not worried about him being here.
Plus, I always lock the house up tight when we are gone and he doesn't have a key. The kids are always with me if not at daycare. I'm not worried about it. Last time this happened he stayed away for a year. He didn't want the kids to see him like he was- nor did he want me to.
Quoting MunchkinWrangler:" Last time... well the first time....that this happened he came to me, admitted he had a problem and ... [snip!] ... numerous times. :/ He ended up getting inpatient care for suicidal thoughts and went to rehab from there by his own choice."
Just let him know that you are there for him but he needs to get the help, if he wants it, now before it gets worse. Depression and suicide are nothing to mess with and if he needs the help there are lots of options and you will back him up. Just make sure you dont push him :)
Quoting MunchkinWrangler:" Yes I know what you mean... but that's not what I'm asking for advice on. I am looking for advice on ... [snip!] ... it... I just want to help him. Even if we split up and he was never around the kids again, I would still want to help him."
Pretty much that is the only thing you can say though. You can tell him if he picks you and the kiddos then guess what you will always be behind him. You want to be the rock he falls to when he gets weak....etc etc. but your kids come first. My cousin was just murdered at 24 over drugs. His wife feels guilty because she left him because he wouldn't change. Should she feel guilty of course not because she was looking out for her and her little man.
Quoting SherryandMatt:" I wouldn't go at it right away accusing and "pointing your finger" but more of a serious I KNOW... ... [snip!] ... I commend you for being there and sticking by him. I hope he gets better so the time to truly leave never comes!!! i'll delete"
So I guess I should just say that I know he is using again and give him the choice to stay with us instead of going back to it going and get help now before it gets to a point where he cant turn around? If he chooses so leave what should I say? Just that by leaving he is choosing the drugs over the kids and hopefully he can see what he is losing by making that choice?
Quoting MunchkinWrangler:" Thank you. So I guess I should just say that I know he is using again and give him the choice to stay ... [snip!] ... Just that by leaving he is choosing the drugs over the kids and hopefully he can see what he is losing by making that choice?"
That sounds very well thought out. Firm, serious but caring and obviously you love and are there for him.
I've been thinking about you all night:( Good luck momma!
How are you? How did it go?