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Just going to take it easy today. Belle De Jour Due October 8 (boy); 2 kids; Kentucky 19183 posts
6th Jul '13

So last night was interesting...
I had a great night with my friends who came in to see me from Missouri and we all just had a really fun time. :) It was awesome.
But for some reason on the way home I started to think about Isaac. So my stupid ass drove over to my sister's house drunk off my ass at 4am FLIPPING the f**k out. Full on panic attack, etc. And what sucks is that I DID take my anxiety meds before we went out. and it didn't help.
So today I wake up (not hungover thank god) and I'm still really emotional, like I feel like I'm on the verge of a really bad panic attack. I'm sure it's just the emotions from last night and then the fact that I'm so overwhelmed from all these people in my house.
So since my ativan isn't working I took a zanex. :lol:
I'm staying in away from all the people and kids and just taking it easy today. I need to breathe.

*~Terra~* 65 kids; Montgomery, Pennsylvania 32918 posts
6th Jul '13

Lucky you didn't get hurt or hurt somebody else driving that way.



Sounds like you really need to get yourself some help.



Good luck!!

Hikaru Katsu 1 child; Japan 641 posts
6th Jul '13
Quoting Belle De Jour:" So last night was interesting... I had a great night with my friends who came in to see me from Missouri ... [snip!] ... I took a zanex. :lol: I'm staying in away from all the people and kids and just taking it easy today. I need to breathe."


it sounds like it was just the booze talking. once you get to a certain point the meds don't seem to work. i take lexapro and have xanax when it gets really bad. only seems to get bad is when im drinking a lot.

Rebekah Garden x3 Due October 5 (boy); 33 kids; Fall River, Massachusetts 5223 posts
6th Jul '13

I just went and read who he was. Of course your gonna be upset! It's normal. You need the time to grieve. Grieving is a natural process and it takes time to go through all the stages. I would probably just take some time to myself as well/

Belle De Jour Due October 8 (boy); 2 kids; Kentucky 19183 posts
6th Jul '13
Quoting Hikaru Katsu:" it sounds like it was just the booze talking. once you get to a certain point the meds don't seem to ... [snip!] ... don't seem to work. i take lexapro and have xanax when it gets really bad. only seems to get bad is when im drinking a lot. "


Yeah, I think I've decided that when I drink that I need to cut myself off before I get really drunk so that I don't have these meltdowns. I'm starting to wonder if getting that drunk is a trigger for the PTSD?
Though in all reality I probably shouldn't get that drunk to begin with lol.

user banned 2 kids; Bat Cave, North Carolina 64587 posts
6th Jul '13

I hope you're feeling better about it soon.



I'd stay away from depressants like alcohol though for a while. Especially knowing you may get upset again and drive drunk.

Belle De Jour Due October 8 (boy); 2 kids; Kentucky 19183 posts
6th Jul '13
Quoting *~Terra~*:" Lucky you didn't get hurt or hurt somebody else driving that way. "


I know, and we took a cab to and from the club but once I got home I just wanted my sister. It doesn't make up for driving drunk but what's done is done. I don't ever drive drunk.

*~Terra~* 65 kids; Montgomery, Pennsylvania 32918 posts
6th Jul '13
Quoting Belle De Jour:" I know, and we took a cab to and from the club but once I got home I just wanted my sister. It doesn't make up for driving drunk but what's done is done. I don't ever drive drunk."


Sisters are the best aren't they?



I don't know what I would do without mine.



My sister and I share grief and loss. We both have experienced significant loss with our children.

Hikaru Katsu 1 child; Japan 641 posts
6th Jul '13
Quoting Belle De Jour:" Yeah, I think I've decided that when I drink that I need to cut myself off before I get really drunk ... [snip!] ... if getting that drunk is a trigger for the PTSD? Though in all reality I probably shouldn't get that drunk to begin with lol."


it may or may not be ptsd, but i do know for sure alcohol had made me overly emotional and i just try and stay away from it lol

Belle De Jour Due October 8 (boy); 2 kids; Kentucky 19183 posts
6th Jul '13
Quoting The Original Mayhem.:" I hope you're feeling better about it soon. I'd stay away from depressants like alcohol though for a while. Especially knowing you may get upset again and drive drunk."


Yeah, I'm going to set up a doctors appt with my doctor once she gets back from vacation.
And maybe you guys are right. I should just stay away from the alcohol and just smoke more weed lol.

Belle De Jour Due October 8 (boy); 2 kids; Kentucky 19183 posts
6th Jul '13
Quoting *~Terra~*:" Sisters are the best aren't they? I don't know what I would do without mine. My sister and I share grief and loss. We both have experienced significant loss with our children. "


Yeah, it was her son that died. But it was my nephew and he died in my house. So she is the only one I feel like I can talk to about how I'm dealing with this and she feels the same way. It's just "nice" to know that someone else's hurt is as bad as mine. Does that make any sense?

Belle De Jour Due October 8 (boy); 2 kids; Kentucky 19183 posts
6th Jul '13
Quoting Hikaru Katsu:" it may or may not be ptsd, but i do know for sure alcohol had made me overly emotional and i just try and stay away from it lol"


No I definitely have PTSD. I was diagnosed with it already. I just don't know if drinking would be a trigger.

Rebekah Garden x3 Due October 5 (boy); 33 kids; Fall River, Massachusetts 5223 posts
6th Jul '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Belle De Jour:</b>" Yeah, I think I've decided that when I drink that I need to cut myself off before I get really drunk ... [snip!] ... if getting that drunk is a trigger for the PTSD? Though in all reality I probably shouldn't get that drunk to begin with lol."</blockquote>



Well drinking is a depressant so once you're by yourself the thoughts in your head are worse because of alcohol. :( have you talked to a counselor about how you're feeling?

Belle De Jour Due October 8 (boy); 2 kids; Kentucky 19183 posts
6th Jul '13
Quoting Rebekah Garden x3:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Belle De Jour:</b>" Yeah, I think I've decided that when I ... [snip!] ... by yourself the thoughts in your head are worse because of alcohol. :( have you talked to a counselor about how you're feeling?"


No :( I don't have the money for a counselor. :( I have talked to my doctor about it some though. That's why she prescribed me the meds.

Rebekah Garden x3 Due October 5 (boy); 33 kids; Fall River, Massachusetts 5223 posts
6th Jul '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Belle De Jour:</b>" No :( I don't have the money for a counselor. :( I have talked to my doctor about it some though. That's why she prescribed me the meds."</blockquote>




Is there anywhere around you that offers free counseling? Like for example my husband is in college and he's getting free counseling from his college. I would try to get some counseling. I have lost a brother and a dad and honestly counseling does help.