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Jax 3 kids; Sydney, NS, Australia 2888 posts
8th Jul '13

Maybe you could right him a letter?



I am kinda going through the same thing atm with my SO. But he WAS thinking of cheating on me with some girl he met through fb. Told her he didnt find me physically attractive anymore.
Im not saying that this is the case for you but...just so you know.

Kelly-Ann Louise 1 child; 1 angel baby; Australia 802 posts
8th Jul '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting J&T+3:</b>" Maybe you could right him a letter? I am kinda going through the same thing atm with my SO. But he WAS ... [snip!] ... Told her he didnt find me physically attractive anymore. Im not saying that this is the case for you but...just so you know. "</blockquote>




Man that sucks, sorry :(
I know he has every opportunity to cheat, but I know he wouldnt.
I trust him completely with that.
We share passwords and phones and all that, dont even have to check up on him though.

Jax 3 kids; Sydney, NS, Australia 2888 posts
8th Jul '13
Quoting Kelly-Ann Louise:" <blockquote><b>Quoting J&T+3:</b>" Maybe you could right him a letter? I am kinda ... [snip!] ... I trust him completely with that. We share passwords and phones and all that, dont even have to check up on him though."


We share everything too, thats how I found out about it.

Kelly-Ann Louise 1 child; 1 angel baby; Australia 802 posts
8th Jul '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting J&T+3:</b>" We share everything too, thats how I found out about it."</blockquote>




So he seriously just had it there for you to see? :(

Onalee's Mummy Due August 26; 1 child; Newcastle, Australia 5355 posts
8th Jul '13

I don't know. I honestly don't think he is cheating off what you have said and from previous posts. I think there is something underlying.



If he says he just doesn't feel like it anymore and he doesn't know why maybe there is something going on which he is unaware of. Has his self esteem been effected lately (has he gained weight perhaps) I would suggest convincing him to get a check with the dr, maybe a hormone check, to see if maybe there is a real reason out of his control before jumping to accusations... He sounds genuinely sweet that he still says you look nice and he seems to be attentive to your daughter and you for the most part.

Jax 3 kids; Sydney, NS, Australia 2888 posts
8th Jul '13
Quoting Kelly-Ann Louise:" <blockquote><b>Quoting J&T+3:</b>" We share everything too, thats how I found out about it."</blockquote> So he seriously just had it there for you to see? :("


Yup.
He starts work at 3am. When I got up in the morning, I jumped on the computer and there was his fb still open. (it was an obvious mistake)
Anyways we have mutual friends, so I decided just to scroll through his newsfeed. 5mins later a msg pops up from this chick Ive never heard of before. And because he was on his fb on his phone at work, he got the msg too. So I sat there for most of the day watching their conversation go back and forth.

ρiηkie ρie 3 kids; 3 angel babies; Kentucky 21902 posts
8th Jul '13

Is he on any kinds of meds that could be affecting his sex drive? Especially anything new? If so, maybe that's your culprit. In which case he should talk to his doctor and see if they can adjust his dose or put him on something else.

Kelly-Ann Louise 1 child; 1 angel baby; Australia 802 posts
8th Jul '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Onalee's Mummy:</b>" I don't know. I honestly don't think he is cheating off what you have said and from previous posts. I ... [snip!] ... genuinely sweet that he still says you look nice and he seems to be attentive to your daughter and you for the most part."</blockquote>




He is the sweetest guy, I love him to bits!
I asked him if maybe we could go to the Dr to get him checked for low testosterone, he got offended though, I think I really hurt his feelings.
I just dont know what to do anymore.
I dont want to leave him at all, but I need him to know that this needs to be fixed.



Omg my baby just farted in my face *gag*

Kelly-Ann Louise 1 child; 1 angel baby; Australia 802 posts
8th Jul '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting ρiηkie ρie:</b>" Is he on any kinds of meds that could be affecting his sex drive? Especially anything new? If so, maybe ... [snip!] ... your culprit. In which case he should talk to his doctor and see if they can adjust his dose or put him on something else. "</blockquote>




No meds at all.
I seriously have no idea :(

Kelly-Ann Louise 1 child; 1 angel baby; Australia 802 posts
8th Jul '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting J&T+3:</b>" Yup. He starts work at 3am. When I got up in the morning, I jumped on the computer and there was his ... [snip!] ... fb on his phone at work, he got the msg too. So I sat there for most of the day watching their conversation go back and forth."</blockquote>




That would absolutely kill me.
I would have messaged back to not come home, so that the other chick could see it too.
That is so disrespectful of him :(

LnghrnFan 2 kids; Colorado 26 posts
8th Jul '13

Have you asked him about it? Maybe there's a reason that you haven't thought of yet, but he's the best one to tell you if there's a problem. And if the two of you can't figure out what the problem is, couples' counseling might be a good idea. A trained therapist can probably help the two of you work through this issue. Good luck!

user banned 1 child; Germany 12377 posts
8th Jul '13
Quoting CokiMonsta:" I apologize for jumping to conclusions so please don't take offense but some of those signs he's giving ... [snip!] ... those of somebody who is cheating. Actually, I'd probably need to be convinced he. WASN'T cheating if I were in your position."

I disagree... men aren't exceptions to the low sex drive rule.



OP - I have the same problems with SO and basically all it boils down to is timing and he has a low sex drive. He likes sex during the day and I can't see to fit it in my day so we wait until the occasional night we're not too tired lol. I have no advice on what to do because I've said all of the above to SO and he doesn't seem to care. I have the same concerns as you about entering a marriage like that but I don't think it'd be enough to sway me from it.

Kelly-Ann Louise 1 child; 1 angel baby; Australia 802 posts
9th Jul '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Rd.tko.:</b>" I disagree... men aren't exceptions to the low sex drive rule. OP - I have the same problems with SO ... [snip!] ... care. I have the same concerns as you about entering a marriage like that but I don't think it'd be enough to sway me from it."</blockquote>




I think that could be the problem here too.
That, and we have no privacy in this house :(