Seriously. I just need to vent. It won't be that interesting.
I'm just so far beyond frustrated right now. I have had such a miserable, ridiculous life, and I really can see no signs of it getting better. I know, nobody has it easy, everyone has their own struggles, but some people just have it BAD.
I've worked since I was 15, until April 29th when I lost my job. I've been looking for a job since and still cannot find anything. SO also can't find a job. I can't get welfare, or unemployment. We have 3 kids between us. I've had to borrow money to pay my bills, to put gas in my car, to feed my kids, I can't stand this. I've never been this down and out. I've never had absolutely NO money. Literally, $0. I have nothing. I don't know how I'm supposed to pay my bills this month. DD's birthday is this month. SO's son's birthday is this month (5 days apart, in about 2 weeks). I've applied everywhere but fast food. I have 2 potential offers, but that could be another 2-3 weeks or more. I'm just at my wits end. As if it wasn't bad enough trying to pinch all my pennies and make sure I had money set up for what I really need, apparently amazon decided to set me up for amazon prime. I haven't even bought anything from amazon for over a year. I don't have the same email address, so with NO warning they take $80 out of my bank account, when I literally had $39 in there left specifically for my rent check. They took the rent money plus overdrafted my account. Yeah, I canceled the membership as soon as I realized, and they returned the money, but then took part of it back. I also still have to pay the fee since they over drafted me even though it wasn't my doing.
Someone cut one of the locks off of SOs storage unit, so that's another expense.
It seems petty, but it's just a lot all at once. I'm bipolar, with anxiety and depression, and I can't afford to buy my medicine anymore. I take lamictil, so if you know anything about that, it's one of those medicines that you have to maintain a certain level. They have to gradually walk you up to a certain level with that medication. I can't afford to buy it anymore, so I have to save what I do have, and only take 1 when I start to feel the effects of withdrawing from it to keep myself from being sick. I'm getting close to being out. I've tried government assistance, they won't help me. SO has applied to a million jobs, as have I. I'm at my wits end.
So, I vent on FB, and I post that I'm so sick of everyone talking about this wonderful, almighty, all powerful and loving God. If there was a God, why does he put good people through hell? I don't break the law, I do whatever I can to help other people. I don't try to cheat the system, or lie to people, or hurt people. I try to do everything right and by the book, and I constantly get shit on. I see all these people out here, lying and manipulating the system, stealing, doing and selling drugs, and they get everything handed to them. It's bullshit, and I'm sick of everyone throwing God in my face talking about have faith in him and it will get better. You know what? I've had faith, all of my life, up until now. I've always thought, it has to get better, it can't stay this bad forever. Well you know what? It does. It never gets better, it never gets easier. I never seem to catch even a break to get on my feet and have a chance at dealing with this miserable life. I know I certainly would not ever put my child through anything that I've went through. I wouldn't be able to idly sit by and watch her suffer and worry and be miserable if I knew I could do something to help. I wouldn't put her through hell and back with absolutely no end in sight. Lesson or no lesson, I just wouldn't do that to her. Yeah, if she does something wrong and has to face consequences that's one thing, but if she's doing everything right and everything she is supposed to do, I'm not going to put her through hell, so DON'T come to me talking about how "at least you're alive, you have a beautiful daughter, you're healthy" blah blah blah. Yeah, I'm alive and I'm f**king miserable. I do have a beautiful daughter, that I love more than anything and I'm so grateful for that, but I can't provide for her. I can't take care of her, I have to depend on other people to support MY daughter and that's not right. I may not have some deadly disease, but I'm far from healthy.
Seriously, f**k off with all that nonsense, and give me a damn break!!!!!!
i use needymeds.com at work all the time for pts to get them free or d/c meds..if that helps your med situation! sorry mama!
Quoting GetItGirl:" i use needymeds.com at work all the time for pts to get them free or d/c meds..if that helps your med situation! sorry mama!"
I had just got a thing worked out with CVS where they were going to use their discount cards to help me get like a 3 months supply for $15 or something. I literally have nothing though, and every bit of money that I do get goes toward food for my kids, diapers, or gas so we can pick up and drop off SOs kids on the weekends because they live 45 minutes away, and their mother is a raging c**t and won't meet us anywhere. :(
Quoting GetItGirl:" i'm sorry!"
It just really irks me when people who are married, their spouses work and make a lot of money to support them, they can afford to go out shopping and take their kids out to do fun things, take vacations, etc. can talk to me right now about how great God is and how dare me question him and I'm going to hell. Until you're in my shoes, and begging God every night to give you a break and the more you beg the worse it gets, don't tell me how to feel.
Why haven't you applied at fast food places?
Things will get better.
Quoting Just Ames:" Why haven't you applied at fast food places?"
I don't have anyone to keep DD the hours that they expect you to work.
Quoting Laneys*Mama:" I don't have anyone to keep DD the hours that they expect you to work."
I know it's different everywhere but I can't believe a single mother cannot get assistance :?
I truly hope it gets better for you Hun. We've been in a situation where we had no money too. Not even a penny. I get your frustration. :(
Have you tried wish upon a hero?
Quoting Just Ames:" Oh :( I know it's different everywhere but I can't believe a single mother cannot get assistance :? "
Trust me, I tried. In order to get cash assistance I have to do like 60 hrs of community service a WEEK and I'd get $300 a month. That's not enough to eve n cover my bills much less put gas in the car to get me the places they need me to go. My county sucks.
Quoting ~**germaphobic**~:" I truly hope it gets better for you Hun. We've been in a situation where we had no money too. Not even a penny. I get your frustration. :( Have you tried wish upon a hero?"
No, I don't know what that is?
I had a job interview 2 weeks ago, and they said they would set me up for a 2nd interview. It literally took 2 weeks to set that up, and now they said it would be another 2 weeks before they make a decision. I have another job pending, but they do an FBI background check and a credit check, my credit is shot so IDK if I'll get that one just because of my credit. It's like it's a constant "well come in for an interview and we'll let you know in a month." I don't have a month.
I was in a car accident in April. I was going to a chiropractor because it really messed up my neck. I quit going against dr's orders so I could go ahead and settle to try to pay my bills. The lawyer's assistant waited a week or longer to even call the drs office to ask for my bills. She then tells me after she gets a draft written up for the insurance company they have 60-90 days to come back with an offer.
Everything is a constant waiting game and I'm slowly running out of time.
Do you have a community service center near you? Or a church that gibes out food? Find a food bank they are there to help.
I understand being unemployed and finding nothing. My DH was unemployed for 6 months last year. He had to take one shitty job after another before getting a job he liked.
Also do you have any gold you can sell for cash?
Quoting Laneys*Mama:" Trust me, I tried. In order to get cash assistance I have to do like 60 hrs of community service a WEEK ... [snip!] ... not enough to eve n cover my bills much less put gas in the car to get me the places they need me to go. My county sucks. "
And you're talking WIC and food stamps too? WTF :?
Quoting Jen S&C Momma:" Do you have a community service center near you? Or a church that gibes out food? Find a food bank they ... [snip!] ... He had to take one shitty job after another before getting a job he liked. Also do you have any gold you can sell for cash?"
No, the only thing I have even worth selling is DD's stuff that she's outgrown. It just so happens though that my brother just found out he's going to be a dad. I told him I would save her stuff until we know if he's having a boy or girl that way if he needs it he can have it, but his gf is p***y footing around and won't go get the gender ultrasound. I'm on the verge of selling it anyway, but I feel so bad doing that when I know he might need it.
SO was supposed to do some odd jobs for one of my dad's friends to help out, but it's all outside work and it's rained since the day he was supposed to start.