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Cast Your Vote:

    • I believe his story. -- Votes: 0
    • He is lying. -- Votes: 76
lolajessup 3 kids; 1 angel baby; Beaverton, Michigan 44071 posts
9th Jul '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Kait.:</b>" He never went to any of that...that could be a lot of the problem. He just quit cold turkey. He was ... [snip!] ... thing down there is laundry and I do that. I'll hide the key somewhere...I'll take it to the back of my closet or something. "</blockquote>




That sounds like a perfect spot.



And an addict can't quit cold turkey. He NEEDS help. He was supposedly healed and stole drugs from work. That's a HUGE problem. He obviously has issues with it still.

The Doctor 2 kids; Whiskey Dick Mountain, WA, United States 59959 posts
9th Jul '13
Quoting Kait.:" He never went to any of that...that could be a lot of the problem. He just quit cold turkey. He was ... [snip!] ... thing down there is laundry and I do that. I'll hide the key somewhere...I'll take it to the back of my closet or something. "


I would tell him that he needs to go to some kind of recovery, even if it's just a weekly meeting, and if not then there needs to be some kind of consequence. Addiction is mental as well as physical, and he obviously still has the lingering mentality of an addict-- the lying and stealing, manipulation.



And, I think the key safe is fine for now-- but I would recommend a small combo safe. You can get them pretty cheap at like... BJs. Again, a key you can find. A combo you can't find unless you told him.

lolajessup 3 kids; 1 angel baby; Beaverton, Michigan 44071 posts
9th Jul '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Raising Sonshines:</b>" you are going to come home one day to your house tore apart because he was looking for your pills. Just knowing they are there is crazy temptation for an addict with no treatment.."</blockquote>



That's what I was thinking too. He will search til he finds them. Now that he knows they're there and he got a taste he's gonna keep going til he gets his fix. And sadly it might not just be your pills. He may go searching elsewhere. Friends, family, the street. It's just not safe he needs treatment.

Yurvette [♥] 2 kids; 1 angel baby; Hyrule Castle, LZ, San Marino 36618 posts
9th Jul '13
Quoting lolajessup:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Raising Sonshines:</b>" you are going to come home one day to ... [snip!] ... not just be your pills. He may go searching elsewhere. Friends, family, the street. It's just not safe he needs treatment."



This!!!

The Doctor 2 kids; Whiskey Dick Mountain, WA, United States 59959 posts
9th Jul '13
Quoting Yurvette [♥]:" Why are you with someone that you cant trust around the kids? You shouldnt have to live like that. ... [snip!] ... :( This makes me really sad for you. You shouldnt have to hide any of your meds in fear that he might get it and take it. "


IMO-- that's part of being in a relationship with an addict, when you need something in the house that they are addicted to.



She shouldn't have to hide her pills, no. But he shouldn't have his addiction right there in an unopened bottle in his face, either. That's too tempting for someone who's an addict.



I think there's a way for both of them to have what they need-- as long as they are communicating and hopefully he does seek help for the addiction, and not just the physical side, because it sounds like he had a decent grip on the physical aspect.



As far as the kids-- I agree. That's why he needs to deal with the emotional and mental side of his addiction, so that he can be trusted with his own children. That part, I agree, is not right.

lolajessup 3 kids; 1 angel baby; Beaverton, Michigan 44071 posts
9th Jul '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting The Doctor:</b>" IMO-- that's part of being in a relationship with an addict, when you need something in the house that ... [snip!] ... emotional and mental side of his addiction, so that he can be trusted with his own children. That part, I agree, is not right."</blockquote>



Its very mental! He needs to trust you OP enough to tel you when he is craving or needs help or relapses. He needs your support so he can let you in. Talk with him about it calmly and not accusatory and just say I want you to get help. I can't live with this anymore. Use lots of I statements so he doesn't feel attached with you need to or you have or you do.

Kait. 3 kids; Iowa 2345 posts
9th Jul '13

Okay, I'll bring it up to him tonight after work. I'm going to make it very clear that this can't be happening. I don't want to lie to him, but should I? Should I tell him I had to throw them away again because I know he took them? He saw me do it last time so I know he'd believe that I did it again... but I don't want to lie either..

justanothamotha Due January 20; 130 kids; Climax, Michigan 5120 posts
9th Jul '13

It sounds like he is lying..edited due to being a numb nut

The Doctor 2 kids; Whiskey Dick Mountain, WA, United States 59959 posts
9th Jul '13
Quoting Kait.:" Okay, I'll bring it up to him tonight after work. I'm going to make it very clear that this can't be ... [snip!] ... I know he took them? He saw me do it last time so I know he'd believe that I did it again... but I don't want to lie either.."


I think that depends. Don't say anything about them. Talk about you two, and what needs to be done from here to make sure that you are both working towards this goal of having him be healthy, and you, too.



If he's unwilling to listen or get help, I think telling him that you threw them away is something that is a necessary evil until you figure out how to get him help.

lolajessup 3 kids; 1 angel baby; Beaverton, Michigan 44071 posts
9th Jul '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting The Doctor:</b>" I think that depends. Don't say anything about them. Talk about you two, and what needs to be done ... [snip!] ... I think telling him that you threw them away is something that is a necessary evil until you figure out how to get him help."</blockquote>




I wouldn't bring it up either unless absolutely necessary. And I think in this case lying would be best if it comes up and confess when he's in a better mindset.

.Christin. 1 child; Florida 1351 posts
9th Jul '13
Quoting justanothamotha:" It sounds like he is lying...but I can't fathom why. You say he worked in pharmacy - then he should ... [snip!] ... And if he is puking blood he took wayyyyy too much. All NSAIDs can trash your gastrointestinal tract if you take too much."

Uh that's not true, plenty of people can get addicted to Tramadol.

justanothamotha Due January 20; 130 kids; Climax, Michigan 5120 posts
9th Jul '13
Quoting .Christin.:" Uh that's not true, plenty of people can get addicted to Tramadol."

I am sorry - actually I was confusing it with a different med. TOTALLY my bad on that one...for real. It is not highly addictive but is mildly & is a narcotic. I had a bad night's sleep & got a little foggy. I am going to edit that so I am not spreading misinfo...

.Christin. 1 child; Florida 1351 posts
9th Jul '13
Quoting justanothamotha:" I am sorry - actually I was confusing it with a different med. TOTALLY my bad on that one...for real. ... [snip!] ... is a narcotic. I had a bad night's sleep & got a little foggy. I am going to edit that so I am not spreading misinfo..."

Lol that's alright, just wanted to make sure OP was confused as to why her husband was taking it.

Port Amoral Due March 7; 65 kids; Toronto, Ontario 75 posts
9th Jul '13

He's lying. My mom is a pill addict, and she comes up with those excuses too. They can get addicted to any pill even if it's not addicting at all.

one of each 4 me Due January 8; TTC since Mar 2014; 3 kids; Ohio 6210 posts
9th Jul '13

My husband is an addict and has relapsed many times. I trusted him but I have come to learn u really can't trust am addict a all. Ever. They can lie better than anyone. I am a counselor so I should know better.