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_______Nope_________ 23772 posts
9th Jul '13
Quoting Laneys*Mama:" Braces aren't really a NEED. It's not a necessity to have your teeth fixed, and it's a possibility ... [snip!] ... with some pretty bad teeth and their kids had the exact same teeth so there has to be some sort of genetic traits for teeth."


But she wasn't forced to pay it either, was she? They decided together that it was an expense worth paying for. It wasn't caused by bad behavior or anyones "fault."



Bad behavior on the other hand IS the responsibility of the custodial parent. If my children get in trouble, it's MY responsibility. She may have been doing a substandard job at keeping an eye on him and he got himself into trouble. I think that medical needs are far different from those caused by action and/or lack of supervision.

Mama Van D Due November 3; 2 kids; 1 angel baby; Unity, Maine 2454 posts
9th Jul '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting she nan igans:</b>" No. Braces are out of parents control. That's a health expense. A bracelet happened because of his ... [snip!] ... isn't at fault for the kid needing braces. The Mom *IS* at least partly at fault for the child she had getting into trouble."</blockquote>



You actually have a really good point.

Madi's*Mama Due November 2; 1 child; Holland, Michigan 7391 posts
9th Jul '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Laneys*Mama:</b>" Braces aren't really a NEED. It's not a necessity to have your teeth fixed, and it's a possibility ... [snip!] ... with some pretty bad teeth and their kids had the exact same teeth so there has to be some sort of genetic traits for teeth."</blockquote>



I needed braces. My mouth was screwed up lol



Also, your teeth are genetic. My dentist told my mom because she kept going on and on about how it's my dads fault and he got annoyed and told her it comes from both parents and very much a genetic thing lol

user banned 1 child; Jamaica, OH, United States 7126 posts
9th Jul '13
Quoting Madi's*Mama:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Laneys*Mama:</b>" Braces aren't really a NEED. It's not a ... [snip!] ... on about how it's my dads fault and he got annoyed and told her it comes from both parents and very much a genetic thing lol"


You can survive without braces or haven't straight teeth, KWIM? I consider a need or necessity something you need to survive.
I'm not saying they're not important or anything like that. I just don't view braces as an absolute need. I don't think people have died from not having braces before they were invited.



I definitely see she nan igans point though. I just think that if they're splitting any costs, they need to split them for both.

_______Nope_________ 23772 posts
9th Jul '13
Quoting Madi's*Mama:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Laneys*Mama:</b>" Braces aren't really a NEED. It's not a ... [snip!] ... on about how it's my dads fault and he got annoyed and told her it comes from both parents and very much a genetic thing lol"


I agree that teeth have a genetic factor, but that's why I said there is nothign you can really DO to fix it. It isn't caused by actions. Needing braces may be caused by genetics, but I don't hold people responsible for genetics, only for their actions.



If my kid damages someones property I'm at fault as their custodial parent. I'm responsible. Since the mother had custody of that child, she is responsible for HIS behavior and for the costs associated with bad behavior IMO. If we were talking braces again, I'd say heck yes, the Dad should help pay for it.



But not for something caused by the child she was in charge of doing bad things.

_______Nope_________ 23772 posts
9th Jul '13
Quoting Laneys*Mama:" You can survive without braces or haven't straight teeth, KWIM? I consider a need or necessity something ... [snip!] ... definitely see she nan igans point though. I just think that if they're splitting any costs, they need to split them for both. "


So you don't see a difference between a medical cost and one that was due to a lack of supervision? That's like saying the cost to fix a childs cleft lip is the same as a cost to fix a window a kid broke on purpose.



No. One is medical and unavoidable, and the other is due to action which could have been avoidable.



Not to mention, again, the Mom wasn't forced to pay for the braces, was she? Perhaps SHE decided as well that it needed to be done so they split the cost of that because they both wanted it. Just because she offered to chip in on that doesn't mean that the Dad is suddenly on the hook for anything cost associated with the other child.

Madi's*Mama Due November 2; 1 child; Holland, Michigan 7391 posts
9th Jul '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Laneys*Mama:</b>" You can survive without braces or haven't straight teeth, KWIM? I consider a need or necessity something ... [snip!] ... definitely see she nan igans point though. I just think that if they're splitting any costs, they need to split them for both. "</blockquote>



I know I wouldn't have died without them but I was in a lot of pain and couldn't eat correctly. I had to many teeth for my mouth so had to get 4 pulled, my wisdom teeth instead of growing up and down grew sideways towards my other teeth so those had to come out but one is impacted to my jaw and they were only able to get half out, my tongue is to wide for my mouth so my back teeth don't touch at all, and my jaw isn't lined up right, it was to far to the left but they over corrected and now it's to far to the right. I have a lot more work I need down and the issues cause a lot of pain but I don't want to deal with braces anymore lol so I agree they are not life or death but depending on how bad, I would consider them a need.

Mama Van D Due November 3; 2 kids; 1 angel baby; Unity, Maine 2454 posts
9th Jul '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Laneys*Mama:</b>" You can survive without braces or haven't straight teeth, KWIM? I consider a need or necessity something ... [snip!] ... definitely see she nan igans point though. I just think that if they're splitting any costs, they need to split them for both. "</blockquote>




In some cases it can be bad though. I needed braces, headgear, and a palette expander. My bottom teeth ALL rested on the outside of my top teeth when I bit down.



I agree that if they're splitting some big costs, they should split them all.

_______Nope_________ 23772 posts
9th Jul '13
Quoting Laneys*Mama:" You can survive without braces or haven't straight teeth, KWIM? I consider a need or necessity something ... [snip!] ... definitely see she nan igans point though. I just think that if they're splitting any costs, they need to split them for both. "


Also, as far as need, you won't die if you don't get a broken leg set correctly. You won't die if you don't get pain meds after surgery. You won't die if you don't get wisdom teeth that are causing extreme pain taken out.



Medical needs do not always mean you'll die if it doesn't happen.

user banned 1 child; Jamaica, OH, United States 7126 posts
9th Jul '13
Quoting she nan igans:" So you don't see a difference between a medical cost and one that was due to a lack of supervision? ... [snip!] ... offered to chip in on that doesn't mean that the Dad is suddenly on the hook for anything cost associated with the other child."


Calm down. I said I see your point lol.



I was just reiterating that braces weren't necessary to survive because someone said they NEEDED braces.
Yes, there is a huge difference. Yes, I see where you're coming from.
I just know that if I were in that position, I would want to split the cost with the father if I was helping him split the cost. Maybe the boy was acting out because he didn't have his dad or brother around? We don't really know the circumstances to automatically blame mom, but I DO see where you're coming from, and I'm not saying you're wrong because your point is very much valid. I just know personally, I would want to split the cost if it were me.

_______Nope_________ 23772 posts
9th Jul '13
Quoting Laneys*Mama:" Calm down. I said I see your point lol. I was just reiterating that braces weren't necessary to survive ... [snip!] ... you're wrong because your point is very much valid. I just know personally, I would want to split the cost if it were me."


Wanting to split the cost doesn't mean he should have to pay. I want to split the cost of a lot of things, lol, that doesn't mean he should be forced to pay part of it.



Would it be nice? Sure. That doesn't mean he should HAVE to, which was the question. Should he be forced to pay half of it?

Gosloving 1 child; Washington 12831 posts
9th Jul '13

I think it's bullshit to say he was under her supervision so she should be at blame for everything. We don't know the whole story not why he was put on that ankle monitor. For all we know its a "hanging with the wrong crowd, at the wrong place, wrong time" situation. Parents can't be watching their children 24/7.



Shit happens, it doesn't take away the fact that he is still his son and he is still responsible for his actions. Unless he doesn't see him, or parent him at all. (Imo)I'm sure if the story was reversed he would gladly accept money from the mother to pay for the ankle monitor for the kid that lives with him.

The Targaryen South Carolina 204 posts
9th Jul '13
Quoting Now and Forever:" I think it's bullshit to say he was under her supervision so she should be at blame for everything. We ... [snip!] ... story was reversed he would gladly accept money from the mother to pay for the ankle monitor for the kid that lives with him."


I agree with this!! Parents can do as much as possible and kids still get into trouble. If I were the dad I would be willing to help pay because he would still be my son. I would still be responsible for him whether he lived with me or not.

loser mom 2 kids; 1 angel baby; Oslo, ,, Norway 10372 posts
9th Jul '13
Quoting Now and Forever:" I think it's bullshit to say he was under her supervision so she should be at blame for everything. We ... [snip!] ... story was reversed he would gladly accept money from the mother to pay for the ankle monitor for the kid that lives with him."


The parents had a mutual agreement that one supports son A, the other supports son B. The mother doesn't have the luxury of deciding what the dad does and does not pay for.