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Mommy trouble with boyfriends kid LuvEnvee 1 child; North Carolina 6 posts
12th Jul '13

First, let me say, I am happy to be back on baby gaga. I forgot my password to my old account. So here I am now.



Anyways, so I have a 4 year old. Will be 5 in December. And I am also in a relationship. He has a 4 year old too. The girls get along well and my boyfriends daughter sees me as her mother. Which I adore her. The mother isn't involved in her life and also doesn't contact about her well being and such. I also live with my boyfriend and his parents. (They help watch the girls when we are at work)
My boyfriends daughter sees me as her mother and also calls me mommy. I attend to her when she needs me. And when I am out, I do not forget about her when I am out with my daughter and we are out shopping or grabbing food before going back to the house. My problem is trying to get her to stay away from doing these "bad habits" before its too late.
For example, she knows I won't let her have too much soda, but insists on drinking soda because her grandparents lets her. Or, tells my daughter to clean up for her when I tell both of them to clean up. AND she chooses to eat candy over real food. (When I tell her not to, she gets upset at me)
This is my first relationship with a man with a kid and I know that I do not have much authority in telling her what to do but do what a mom does best and that is to take care of them.
I am not frustrated with my daughter but frustrated on what to do with my boyfriends kid to have her not be so stubborn. It could be her grandparents giving her too much and she knows she can have it her way with them but not with me.



My question is, has anyone been in this kind of situation? I know that I cannot be the only one. And how should I handle this? Because I want everything to work out well for all of us. Or am I doing too much?

MomDIA TTC since May 2008; 81 kids; Warminster, Pennsylvania 3812 posts
12th Jul '13

Yes I parented a child that was not mine for years. Talk to your SO, if you are going to raise her then you both must set guidelines for discipline. She has to listen to you and respect you, and now is the age to start or she never will. I unfortunately do not see my little girl anymore since we broke up and I had no rights, but I was her mommy, I fed her, put clothes on her back, threw her birthday parties, has tea parties while her mother partied her life away. I was also a disciplinary as we though. Me and ex SO agreed on timeouts, etc for punishments.

LuvEnvee 1 child; North Carolina 6 posts
12th Jul '13
Quoting BoogsMaMa:" Yes I parented a child that was not mine for years. Talk to your SO, if you are going to raise her then ... [snip!] ... her mother partied her life away. I was also a disciplinary as we though. Me and ex SO agreed on timeouts, etc for punishments."


It's complicated when his parents are involved too. My daughter and I live with them and I feel like the grandparents is the problem causing this "it's okay to do this" and when I am around, I am not fond of it so I ignore it all with what they let her do. I do not speak up on what I feel is right for them to do. but again, she isn't my child so I think I shouldn't tell them anything. But I feel this way because my bf, (her father) will let his parents do whatever with her as well. I hope I didn't confuse you.

MomDIA TTC since May 2008; 81 kids; Warminster, Pennsylvania 3812 posts
12th Jul '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting LuvEnvee:</b>" It's complicated when his parents are involved too. My daughter and I live with them and I feel like ... [snip!] ... But I feel this way because my bf, (her father) will let his parents do whatever with her as well. I hope I didn't confuse you."</blockquote>




It doesn't you and SO have to sit down with them, and explain what is necessary for her discipline.