Last night, I slept in my daughter's room because she was having trouble getting to sleep. While I was in there, Aiden (he's 4 and doesn't usually wake up at night) got up and went to my room looking for me. I heard him crying, and I got up and went to him. He was freaking out because I was "all the way gone" (he'd looked in my room and the living room and the kitchen and didn't see me).
Anyway, I went in the room with him and cuddled with him for a minute while he was going back to sleep. He started telling me about the dream he had that woke him up. He said he was walking around and reading things and he read the words "AIDEN IS DEAD". He says, "And I was just died like Seth just died and everything was eating me after."
I hugged him tight and told him I wouldn't let anything happen to him and he ended up falling asleep again.
But, he's become so much more aware of that lately. I mean, he always "knew", but he talks so much more about Seth and about dying now. He got a cold a few weeks ago and asked if he was going to die like Seth did because he was sick. I love that he remembers his brother, but his insight bothers me so much at the same time... Both because I still worry all the time myself and it's still hard for me to talk about at times, and because I don't want him worrying unnecessarily either.
*sighs* I dunno where I'm going with this. I've just been thinking about it all morning.
Poor kid! That's a lot to go through and try to understand at his age. Some therapy might help him cope and understand a little better
:( poor baby. My son is 4 also and just recently became aware of death. My BIL passed suddenly of a OD; we allowed my son and daughter to go see him in the hospital on life support. He asked me what was wrong with him, and I said "uncle is sick" and I told him to give him a kiss and say goodbye. He looked at me and said "mom tell him to wake up so I can say bye!" I didnt think he understood at all, then at his funeral he asked when he was going to wake up. I explained to him that he wasnt going to wake up and he was an angel. Now he constantly talks about his uncle, he remembers everything down to the songs they played at the funeral. He was even have night terrors for a good while. I felt horrible, but he seems to be dealing with hit better now. I just tell him his uncle is his angel and if he is scared he will be there with him.
Has he been to see anyone in grief counselling? Any family groups. Maybe now that hes getting bigger and can communicate more, and use his imagination more, its a good idea to see whats out there for grieving siblings?
Quoting A Beautiful Disaster:" Has he been to see anyone in grief counselling? Any family groups. Maybe now that hes getting bigger ... [snip!] ... can communicate more, and use his imagination more, its a good idea to see whats out there for grieving siblings? hugs mama"
He hasn't. But with him bringing it up more often lately, I was considering looking for someone/something to help him process it all.