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Cast Your Vote:

    • Don't invite him at all -- Votes: 5
    • Put up with it and go alone -- Votes: 1
Ugh my mind is so torn... 1stTimeBabyMaker 1 child; California 4330 posts
16th Jul '13

Ok so, background 1st:
My brother (18 at the time now 20) was an abusive druggie and ever since my dad passed in 2009 my mom let him run our lives. He constantly partied and popped pills all day and my mom is the definition of enabler. He never got in trouble because she wanted to think he was perfect. A good example is a night I had to call the cops on him he slammed our glass front door after yelling at me because he didnt like my SO and the glass shattered, if that wasn't enough my mom looked at me in all seriousness and said look what you did! (I had been sitting quietly while he and my mom fought) and later that night when he came back it got so bad the cops got called....
It went on for so long me, my family, my SO and his family were afraid I could be in danger so my SO paid for a lawyer and long story short I was emancipated 3 months before my 17th birthday and got the hell outa there!



Now to the present,
My aunt and cousins are throwing a 2nd baby shower for me at there house (we live 2hrs apart) because my grandpa is unable to travel and I'm having 1 here for my SOs fam and our friends and my mom (ever since i moved out she realized how crazy my brother was and we have an ok relationship but I still can't even think of my brother w/o feeling sick) says that my brother can be at either shower so I said absolutely not to the one here. I don't want him at the other one either cause neither SO or I are comfortable with that. I asked and my cousin said since its my shower I should get to have whoever I want there. So if I want she'll have my aunt talk to my mom. And my SO won't go if my brothers gonna be there. I should meantion that ill be past 33wks at this shower



So my question is, if he's sober now should I drop it and go to the shower alone or should I stand my ground and have my aunt tell her no. Is that wrong? If so why?

user banned 2 kids; Minnesota 7318 posts
16th Jul '13
Quoting 1stTimeBabyMaker:" Ok so, background 1st: My brother (18 at the time now 20) was an abusive druggie and ever since my dad ... [snip!] ... should I drop it and go to the shower alone or should I stand my ground and have my aunt tell her no. Is that wrong? If so why?"


Is he sober? Has he ever apologized to you?

1stTimeBabyMaker 1 child; California 4330 posts
16th Jul '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Chim Richalds:</b>" Is he sober? Has he ever apologized to you?"</blockquote>



Actually I'm glad you brought that up, yes from what my mom tells me he's sober but he's never apologized to us my mom says he feels bad and wants to be a good uncle to my daughter but I want him to apologize to our faces without any coaxing or pushing from my mom or anyone before the shower because where we stand now I don't want my daughter to know him until he can act like a proper adult

user banned 2 kids; Minnesota 7318 posts
16th Jul '13
Quoting 1stTimeBabyMaker:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Chim Richalds:</b>" Is he sober? Has he ever apologized to ... [snip!] ... anyone before the shower because where we stand now I don't want my daughter to know him until he can act like a proper adult"


If he hasn't apologized I'd just assume things are same old and not invite him.

1stTimeBabyMaker 1 child; California 4330 posts
16th Jul '13

Thanks! That's what we were thinking, cause on one hand I feel bad but on the other I don't because its our baby and our shower...it's about celebrating a life we made so we should feel comfortable even if that means not inviting him right?