I don't see why asking who he was sending your sons measurements to would make you wrong? I always ask DH who he's talking to and stuff. It's out of curiosity though, not because I'm jealous or anything. I think you have normal wonders and fears any person in a relationship has.
My first thought was that it was because of having a baby. A lot of women feel insecure being pregnant and after the birth. Do you think this could be it or has this issue been here longer than that?
I was going to say... what about previous relationships before this one? Looks like you answered that at the end though. And I'd say that's probably the reason for the trust issues. Don't let it get to you too badly, but if you do, I'd let him know so you can talk it out with him instead of letting it stew inside and make you go crazy.
<blockquote><b>Quoting ☮Hippie Jesus☮:</b>" It irritates me when someone is always asking me who I'm talking to, though. I don't want to be tapping ... [snip!] ... I don't want to be tapping him on the shoulder all the time, "Hey, who ya' talking to? Who's that? What ya' doing?" Etc. etc""</blockquote>
Yeah, I'm not that bad. Lol. Just like if I notice him texting someone or something but we have always been like that too.
Curiosity kills the cat. You can ask who he's talking to without being one of "those" girls. It is ok to wonder...you never cross the line into "that" girl...that girl WOULD sneak a look. I trust SO 99%...that 1% is there because of past relationships and the crazy curiosity of not knowing. He knows I'm a jealous person and finds it funny/cute...he says things about girls he works with just to "get me going"...b******e. Lol Anyway, point is...you can trust someone & still ask them questions & not be one of "those" girls!
Hm. I dunno...
I mean, it certainly seems that you have some kind of a trust issue, whether that's because of something that he did or not.
My DH is like this. He is a snooper, even though I've done nothing to make him distrust me. I guess it's just his personality, and since I have nothing to hide I don't really mind it... though it does hurt that he feels somewhere that he can't trust me. KWIM?
Have you ever talked to him about this, just be honest that you trust him based on everything he's shown you-- yet you are insecure?
your not going to be "that" girlfriend for asking him what's going on. i used to be "that" girlfriend with my ex, i used to ask him who he's talking to, why they are talking and make up crazy assumptions and pick fights, i always made it a game to see how far i could push him, but that was to see if he would fess up to all the cheating he did. now with my husband we always ask each other who we are talking to, it's normal to be curious especially when it involves your kid, if he isn't hidding anything, then he wont have a problem telling you whats going on
asking who he is sending your son's measurements to isn't an annoying/weird question. I would want to know too.... casually. It doesn't have to be interrogative, you know?
and the fact that you were with a married man once is interesting. Maybe it's some sort of deep guilt? even if it's mild, maybe you worry that it will happen to you, because you were capable of being 'that girl' once?
I was on the other end of the stick in my last marriage, he cheated, and I have wondered in the past how or if that affected the other woman in ther long run. Doing something that you know is wrong could easily affect you later. Maybe it's bubbling up now?
Quoting ☮Hippie Jesus☮:" I really do believe that it's a huge part of it. Given the chance, I certainly wouldn't do that again. ... [snip!] ... up situation and I didn't even really like the guy... I just hated my (at the time) husband. I wish I would have never done it."
Anyway, I think that's where your problem is, not everyone would do something like that, infact I'd like to think more people wouldn't than would do something like that.
But yeah, it's you not him that makes you uneasy.
It sounds more like an anxiety issue that you have put on to your DH. You are focusing on what you don't know and you are almost obsessing about the what ifs. They only thing you can really do is realize that you are doing it and tell your brain to STOP, as soon as those thoughts creep up focus on something else, do a craft or project. Think about rainbows and unicorns (or whatever makes you happy, like a family vacation or something). The only way it will stop is if you train your brain to stop. It's almost like an automatic thought now that you've created this worrisome feeling over what is happening that you don't know or can't control. I think it would do you some good to talk about this with your DH and let him know what you are going through. Hiding these feelings from him will only make it worse and they might let up if he knows and maybe he will be more forthcoming to you in the future. Like instead of saying "I need to send it to someone" he will say " I need to send it to Mark cause he asked me about it last week". It's ok to be curious about his life too and ask, Oh who's Mark? Having anxiety about his reaction is the problem. You feel he would think you are being a pest. He may not think that at all, thats why it's good to talk about this. When you do talk to him, you can make it clear that it's not that you don't trust him, but that you are having a problem with intrusive and obsessive thoughts and details about whats going on with him may help ease them away. Good luck!