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pregnancy and deployment Ashleigh Chroninger Due November 13 (girl); 49 kids; California 48 posts
19th Jul '13

I'm currently 23 weeks with my second, my husbands first... I got pregnant while he was on leave from a 15 month deployment, and he's pretty much missed the whole thing. He's halfway across the world and even though he does get some paternity leave, I'm still really worried he won't be here for our daughter's birth... I'm a little surprised that I'm worried most about that now.... I really do get jealous of everyone saying their SO can't make it to one appointment, and of all the nice things I hear of husbands doing for them and their kids to make pregnancy easier.... I've had a horrible pregnancy, and been alone the whole time. I've been in the hospital 15 times with hyperemesis, and my mom found out her cancer had spread after 3 years in remission literally a week after I found out I was pregnant. then in april I lost a cousin and my grandmother two weeks apart.... and I've somehow done it alone without my husband or family or friends for help. being so sick has unintentionally isolated me to the point my friends don't really ever respond to my calls and texts anymore when I DO feel well enough to socialize... on top of it all, since my mom and I have both been so sick, and my husband is overseas, my son has been out of state with my cousins for three months, and it's been sooooo hard on both of us......anyway, this is part rant, part just asking for support from people who have experienced anything similar. I am beyond excited to meet my little girl, and I've been enjoying all the time we've gotten to spend alone and bonding before shes here, but I wish more than anything that my husband could be part of this. he's so excited to be a dad and to have a daughter and it makes me feel so empty when I think of all we're missing going through together, and all he's not getting to do that dads take for granted... I really do wish we could just be a family already. they keep sending him overseas, so we've never gotten to live together as a family or share an apartment or anything that all new couples get to do... this pregnancy has just brought up all of this, and missing and regretting so much... and im terrified to give birth alone.. I cant even think of one person i'd want to have there with me.... i'm not sure im comfortable enough with anyone in my life to ask them to be there for something that intimate... I want more than anything for it to just be me and her dad, and depending on rules and how mature I decide he is, maybe my son... at least at the end.... coming to terms with this pregnancy being so hard and so different from what I wanted and expected has been really difficult for me....

Caidens_momma 1 child; 1 angel baby; Marathon, Florida 350 posts
19th Jul '13

Hey things will be better. I know it sucks being alone going through this all. My sister's husband Brother-in-law was gone overseas all 3 out of her 4 babies. He was able to come home each time to take leave to be there. Being military sadly we miss a lot of things, it does hurt us a lot, I my self is in the military, just not DOD. My sister has been though what you are going though and I was there first hand with her. One thing about the military I learned, they are family caring. Also a lot of what you can be feeling can be your emotions running wild. Hell I am pregnant with my first and I have no family to help me, going thought medical issues also with no idea what it causing it. I cried to my mother last night cause I am homesick and havent seen my brother or parents in over a year or so. Havent been home in 2.5 years. But your husband should be able to talk to his CO and see if he is able to take leave around the time you are ready for birth, if able. Sometimes you can't. But doesn't hurt to talk to them.