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Spawn of Satan: Toy Edition Interrobang!? 6 kids; Ontario 1176 posts
20th Jul

These things are the mother's version of the spawns of Satan. Or mine, anyway.



1: Hotwheels
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They are tiny. There are many of them. They're not as fun as LEGOs are, and they hurt way worse when you step on them. Also, they have a chance of sliding out from under you, causing you not only excruciating pain but the potential of falling on your ass too.



2: Moon Sand
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I love this stuff... outside. But invariably it ends up indoors. On the table. On the couch. In the corners. In the Wii (don't ask me how they managed to get it in there). Sometimes even on the dogs, who track it all through the house and into every crevice, corner, and carpet imaginable and then some.



3: Skip-It (or: Improvised Weapon)
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I somehow managed to find a cache of these at a small toy store a month ago and bought a bunch of them for $7 each. This was a mistake. I might as well have given them...450px-Klassischer-Flegel.jpg
A flail, because that's exactly how they are used. We had the Skip-Its all of an hour before one darling child who may or may not have been mine used the greatest toy of the 1980s to bruise and batter her cousin's shins. RIP Skip-It, you're dead to me forever.



4: Pooh Ride On Thing
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Do you own this toy or are you frequently within 1000 feet of it? Good. Welcome to hell. I wake up in cold sweats sometimes hearing, "HELLO? RABBIT?" and even occasionally have to get up and reassure myself that it's just all in my head. And telling it is that I'm comforted by the fact that I'm just hearing it in my sleep and not hearing it for real. The children fight over it. It's 10x louder than it needs to be. And it says the same dumb phrases over and over, all day long. Oh, and usually in our house, a toy's durability is a wonderful upside. Not this one. We bought it in October of 2008 for Grace's first birthday. I've been hoping it would break since November of that year. Still chugging along. Normally I'd take the batteries out or "lose" the toy but damnit, I just don't have the heart to because every last stinkin' one of our kids loves or loved that thing.



5: The Bear from Birthday Hell
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Okay, not an exact picture, and kind of an obscure toy, but it's been the bane of my existence since 2009 - also a regrettable gift for Grace. Basically, it's a tie-dye stuffed bear. When you squeeze it, it sings an incredibly annoying version of the Beatles' "Birthday Song." Wait, I correct myself: it used to sing an incredibly annoying version of the Beatles' Birthday Song. Now its precious little voice box has been squeezed so many times that it is corroded and it now sings an incredibly annoying, possessed Exorcist-girl sounding version of the Beatles' Birthday Song. Still, it buys me a shower occasionally, and for that it gets to stay.



What is YOUR spawn of Satan toy list?

What's wrong, flat face? TTC since Jul 2012; 1 child; 3 angel babies; Texas 13678 posts
20th Jul

Legos and hotwheels.

user banned Due January 20; 33 kids; North Carolina 14662 posts
20th Jul

Fisher-Price Laugh&Learn Storybook Rhymes
L58471.jpgHeathen got this for her first birthday. Ours, miraculously couldn't turn off. And if the air hit it just right way, it would go off and sing.
Imagine this fresh hell waking you in the wee hours of the morn making you think there's an intruder in the house.
It had since been 're-gifted' and I believe those lucky people never replaced the batteries.

Lumen.Ash Due November 23; 1 child; Denver, Colorado 1272 posts
20th Jul

Do bugs count? My son is into bugs and he brings them in the house now and asks me to, "babysit" them while he's looking for more...

nursemaya mom to 3! 3 kids; 5 angel babies; Minnesota 16002 posts
20th Jul

Legos hot wheels markers doll accessories.

Interrobang!? 6 kids; Ontario 1176 posts
20th Jul
Quoting Lumen.Ash:" Do bugs count? My son is into bugs and he brings them in the house now and asks me to, "babysit" them while he's looking for more..."


I think the spiders in the green cheese can will testify to my resentment of them.

Interrobang!? 6 kids; Ontario 1176 posts
20th Jul
Quoting Pirate Hooker {BAMW}:" Fisher-Price Laugh&Learn Storybook Rhymes Heathen got this for her first birthday. Ours, miraculously ... [snip!] ... there's an intruder in the house. It had since been 're-gifted' and I believe those lucky people never replaced the batteries."


Filing away for future reference. Sounds hellish. At least the ride on toy doesn't go off randomly.

MamaBear201205 50 kids; Cedar Rapids, Iowa 190 posts
20th Jul

I'm crying over here! That was fabulous! Lego's, ANYTHING Dora, and anything Sesame Street!

Leah+2 2 kids; Texas 5797 posts
20th Jul

Ours is a Fisher price snail thing. It rocks and rolls and has a mirror on it but it randomly goes off, if you look at it it'll go off. And a build a bear bull my mom made for my son complete with a lullaby button. Thank GOD those batteries died... it was incredibly loud and on more than one occasion it got stuck and would repeat until I could get it unstuck.

user banned Due January 20; 33 kids; North Carolina 14662 posts
20th Jul
Quoting Interrobang!?:" Filing away for future reference. Sounds hellish. At least the ride on toy doesn't go off randomly."


It had an off switch, and it NEVER turned off for us. This was also 4 years ago, so improvements may have been made. I'm just not going to risk it again

user banned Due January 20; 33 kids; North Carolina 14662 posts
20th Jul
Quoting Leah+1.5:" Ours is a Fisher price snail thing. It rocks and rolls and has a mirror on it but it randomly goes off, ... [snip!] ... died... it was incredibly loud and on more than one occasion it got stuck and would repeat until I could get it unstuck."


Must be a trend wit Fisher Price items.
I call for a boycott of them.

Interrobang!? 6 kids; Ontario 1176 posts
20th Jul
Quoting MamaBear201205:" I'm crying over here! That was fabulous! Lego's, ANYTHING Dora, and anything Sesame Street!"


YES. DORA. DEATH TO DORA.



I may have donated three perfectly good birthday gifts to our kids last year simply because they were Dora stuff. I don't even let my kids watch it, it's basically the only show I refuse to let them watch. I'd rather hear 4 hours of SpongeBob (not that my kids ever watch 4 hours... nope, not us) than a half hour of Dora.

Interrobang!? 6 kids; Ontario 1176 posts
20th Jul
Quoting Pirate Hooker {BAMW}:" Must be a trend wit Fisher Price items. I call for a boycott of them."

I hate the wheelie car too. I think ours was Fischer-Price. Bright red. No way for the kid to move it themselves. Only one seat. For whatever unknown reason, sitting in that seat even though it didn't really do anything cause untold drama and fighting in our house. Out with Fischer-Price car, in with Barbie Mustang.

user banned Due January 20; 33 kids; North Carolina 14662 posts
20th Jul
Quoting Interrobang!?:" I hate the wheelie car too. I think ours was Fischer-Price. Bright red. No way for the kid to move it ... [snip!] ... it didn't really do anything cause untold drama and fighting in our house. Out with Fischer-Price car, in with Barbie Mustang."


Fortunately we never had the car. But there is one at her school. She's never wanted anything to do with it, thankfully.
Right now, one I can't stand that is currently in our residence....
MLP Rarity's Carousel
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I love MLP. Absolutely love it! But.....this drives me up the wall. All those little pieces do indeed come with the toy. And it plays one, and only one, song. And Heathen has it go about 30 times an hour.
I'm starting to twitch.

Vitameatavegamin 19 kids; League City, Texas 5828 posts
20th Jul

A toy we DID get rid of, lol, was a large hot wheels(I think?) mustang that has arrow buttons on it to make it go forward/backward/U-Turn and had a radio button. DS would press the radio button repeatedly... I finally couldn't stand it and threw it out one night while he slept. Thank God he didn't notice it was gone.