Fhuck. 2 kids; North Carolina 3339 posts
25th Jul
Quoting Kimber-lily:" Because women on BG don't bullshit? Because everyone on BG tells the truth? There are more women on ... [snip!] ... than you would think that feel the same way as OP. I've spoken to them, a few of them even posted in here which blows my mind."


May I ask politely why you continue to have children if you feel that motherhood is not right for you?

Kimber-lily Due September 27; 4 kids; Nova Scotia 28962 posts
25th Jul

<blockquote><b>Quoting Fhuck.:</b>" May I ask politely why you continue to have children if you feel that motherhood is not right for you?"</blockquote>




I only have two and not having anymore.

Fhuck. 2 kids; North Carolina 3339 posts
25th Jul
Quoting Kimber-lily:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Fhuck.:</b>" May I ask politely why you continue to have children ... [snip!] ... have children if you feel that motherhood is not right for you?"</blockquote> I only have two and not having anymore."


Did you only feel this way after your last? I'm just curious.
I suffered severe depression with my daughter. I didn't love her the entire time I was pregnant. Not until I saw her for the first time.
I was depressed for months even after she was born however. Not because I didn't love her or my son, but because I didn't really want to be a mom yet. I still wanted to be a free bird.
It took some time, but those feelings are gone. I still get depressed and desire alone time every now and then, but I suppose most women do.
I understand what you're saying.

Kimber-lily Due September 27; 4 kids; Nova Scotia 28962 posts
25th Jul

<blockquote><b>Quoting Fhuck.:</b>" Did you only feel this way after your last? I'm just curious. I suffered severe depression with my ... [snip!] ... I still get depressed and desire alone time every now and then, but I suppose most women do. I understand what you're saying."</blockquote>



I never wanted children. My SO and I got pregnant on a one night stand when I was 18. He wanted more kids so I told him now or never and we had our second. Because I didnt want to deal with raising children my entire life.
Then I got a tubal when my youngest was 6 months old.
I am not sure if its the lack of freedom for me, since I have always been a homebody. Just children make me twitch, is it really needed to tell me the same story 4x? Lol



I'm sorry you get depressed, how do you deal with it? I'm glad you feel better about motherhood. It grows and compliments some people.

Fhuck. 2 kids; North Carolina 3339 posts
25th Jul
Quoting Kimber-lily:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Fhuck.:</b>" Did you only feel this way after your last? I'm ... [snip!] ... you get depressed, how do you deal with it? I'm glad you feel better about motherhood. It grows and compliments some people."



I know how you feel exactly, about the "twitching" thing. I think most people's kids drive them totally batshit crazy. Mine definitely do. I'm a homebody too, but sometimes its nice to sit at home without the kids running around destroying everything or being loud. I get one or two nights a week that I get to just be "me", and it's much needed.
I get what you're saying about the "perfect supermom" stuff. Not everyone on here does it, but I've come across a lot of people that try to make themselves and their families look perfect. It's annoying. I'm sure I'll get shit for agreeing with you, but it is what it is.



To answer your question, I really have no idea how I conquered depression. It's something I struggled with my entire life that just got progressively worse with each pregnancy. I guess I just reached my breaking point one day and said, "enough is enough. I don't want to be sad anymore. Life is what you make of it."
You can either spend all of your time regretting or wishing things have gone differently, or accepting the cards you were given and try to survive.
If you are still struggling, you're more than welcome to PM me and talk about it.

Kimber-lily Due September 27; 4 kids; Nova Scotia 28962 posts
25th Jul

<blockquote><b>Quoting Fhuck.:</b>" I know how you feel exactly, about the "twitching" thing. I think most people's kids drive them totally ... [snip!] ... the cards you were given and try to survive. If you are still struggling, you're more than welcome to PM me and talk about it."</blockquote>




Thanks. :)

LylaAndCrissysMommy 2 kids; New Jersey 455 posts
25th Jul
Quoting All around the Rosie:" <blockquote><b>Quoting GirlsHaveCOOTIES:</b>" I don't think that's 'normal' at all.. ... [snip!] ... care of, he has everything he needs and more. He isn't being mistreated at all. A psychologist can't force me to love someone."


I am sorry but there is something wrong with you if you dont love your child, you need to give him to someone that will love him. children need love to grow.

MissMommyJacquie 1 child; Nebraska 420 posts
26th Jul

Do you love anyone? Because you should love your child more than anyone in the world. There should never ever be anyone or anything that comes before your child.

user banned Lesbos, Greece 95211 posts
26th Jul

Telling her what she should feel invalidates her actual feelings and does nothing to help the situation.



OP- I recommend some form of family therapy for you.

♛Queen Boo♛ 2 kids; United Kingdom 2526 posts
26th Jul
Quoting MissMommyJacquie:" Do you love anyone? Because you should love your child more than anyone in the world. There should never ever be anyone or anything that comes before your child."


You clearly have no clue what you're talking about! People can suffer from depression, pnd, etc and this can alter their emotions. Go get a clue about what you're talking about!

LylaAndCrissysMommy 2 kids; New Jersey 455 posts
26th Jul
Quoting ♛Queen Boo♛:" You clearly have no clue what you're talking about! People can suffer from depression, pnd, etc and this can alter their emotions. Go get a clue about what you're talking about!"


I suffer from depression and ptsd, I love my daughter more then most people, even drug addicts love their children. nothing alters the love for a child. take it from someone who has been there. She may, possibly be a sociopath which will cause her to be unable to form anytype of bound with her child.

lacTAYtor. ☮ 3 kids; North Carolina 4496 posts
26th Jul

<blockquote><b>Quoting Cristiana's Mommy:</b>" I suffer from depression and ptsd, I love my daughter more then most people, even drug addicts love ... [snip!] ... who has been there. She may, possibly be a sociopath which will cause her to be unable to form anytype of bound with her child."</blockquote>




You can not be serious. Just... no. You obviously have no idea how someone with a psychological issue may feel. :?

3sACrowd 3 kids; Alaska 3325 posts
26th Jul
Quoting Cristiana's Mommy:" I suffer from depression and ptsd, I love my daughter more then most people, even drug addicts love ... [snip!] ... who has been there. She may, possibly be a sociopath which will cause her to be unable to form anytype of bound with her child."

This is probably the dumbest f**king post I've ever read. Congratulations.

. Way, MA, United States 73777 posts
status 27th Jul
Quoting 3sACrowd:" This is probably the dumbest f**king post I've ever read. Congratulations."

Omg :lol:



Anyways, OP if it's so normal and you don't/won't feel guilty then what is there to "deal" with? I don't think it's normal at all. I don't think it's healthy for children to grow up with their parent/s not feeling anything for them, to not hear "I love you" or feel it. I think you should seek professional help, if it's nbd and you don't feel guilty about it then what is there to lose? Maybe you might actually help your child avoid a lifetime of his own mental/emotional issues. Are you sure you don't have any unresolved issues from your own parents or childhood? Those tend to come out when parenting your own child. I don't think you're a bad person, you can't help how you feel right now, but you can help what you choose to do about it. I think it's a bad idea to normalize what you're feeling.

♛Queen Boo♛ 2 kids; United Kingdom 2526 posts
27th Jul
Quoting Cristiana's Mommy:" I suffer from depression and ptsd, I love my daughter more then most people, even drug addicts love ... [snip!] ... who has been there. She may, possibly be a sociopath which will cause her to be unable to form anytype of bound with her child."


Did I really just read this? I seriously can't even be bothered to go into it with you, you're not going to get it.