Reply
Two Princesses 2 kids; Long Beach, CA, United States 7203 posts
25th Jul '13

Isn't he worried about putting his hands on you while you're pregnant?



If youu don't want to leave him, he can, if he's willing, try Anger Management and you two can in addition try marriage counseling.
It honestly may never change though, and could even get worse. think long and hard about your well being and that of your kids.

how khuntastik 4 kids; California 1273 posts
25th Jul '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Tilda's Mommy:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting

Jenny&Boopy Due June 26; 2 kids; Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania 7396 posts
status 25th Jul '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting 1inpink2inblue:</b>" No I don't think that is the case at all. When I had my issues with my x they never took our DD. "</blockquote>




I thought it was your DH? Or is it both? In any case it's a definite possibility that her kids could be taken away even if it's just temporary. CPS is concerned about abuse of children but also any other abuse going on in the home.

Lin Brown 2 kids; Tunnel Hill, Georgia 1804 posts
25th Jul '13

my best friend was in a situation like this, he ended up putting her in the hospital, he is sitting in jail, her oldest son is with his dad and her youngest is with his uncle. they took her kids away from her because they saw it was a bad environment and she let it happen because she wouldn't leave, she is now being threatened by cps saying that her youngest will be adopted by his grandma. i personally couldn't stay in a relationship like that, if there was any abuse in the house around my kids, i would be out the door. i understand its easier said then done because you've spent so long with him and you love him and everything, but who comes first? him or your kids? at least seperate from him until he gets the treatment that he needs

1inpink2inblue Switzerland 11961 posts
25th Jul '13
Quoting
Boobo&bugs 2 kids; Simpsonville, South Carolina 7684 posts
status 25th Jul '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Lin Brown:</b>" my best friend was in a situation like this, he ended up putting her in the hospital, he is sitting in ... [snip!] ... him and everything, but who comes first? him or your kids? at least seperate from him until he gets the treatment that he needs"</blockquote>




It's very easy to say you would leave from outside of the situation. The thing about physical abuse is it usually starts out as mental and emotional abuse. By the time they start hitting you, they have usually isolated you from everyone that loves you and have convinced you no one cares about you. My sister used to have to call me from her work phone once a week. Because she wasn't allowed to speak to me. Being mentally and emotionally abused takes a huge toll on your mental state. So much so that by the time physical abuse starts you are convinced you are worthless and can't leave. This is why it is so hard for so many women to do so.

1inpink2inblue Switzerland 11961 posts
25th Jul '13
Quoting Lin Brown:" my best friend was in a situation like this, he ended up putting her in the hospital, he is sitting in ... [snip!] ... him and everything, but who comes first? him or your kids? at least seperate from him until he gets the treatment that he needs"


there is often way more to it then that. And don't think "I'll never end up like that" because you don't know until you are in the situation. My mom stayed with my dad for 18 years of which he beat the shit out of her. First she thought she deserved it, then she had a kid and was afraid of losing him if she left because of what her dh said, Then she stayed because she didn't think she could do it on her own. I always said I would never end up like that and yet I did....twice. It was much harder to walk away this time because my abuser has a fucking god complex. The first time with my x he was just a young, confused kid who didn't know who to turn to so he turned to drugs. HE felt bad about his actions. My dh doesn't feel bad about his.

1inpink2inblue Switzerland 11961 posts
26th Jul '13
Quoting Tilda's Mommy:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Lin Brown:</b>" my best friend was in a situation like this, ... [snip!] ... abuse starts you are convinced you are worthless and can't leave. This is why it is so hard for so many women to do so."


That about sums it up. And in my case my in-laws are just as guilty of the psychological abuse towards me as my dh. They are about as two faced as fuck. At least my mother in-law is. I can honestly say i will be taking measures to make sure my kids are NOT around them anymore because I don't want them picking up any of that ignorant intolerant shit they spew.

Boobo&bugs 2 kids; Simpsonville, South Carolina 7684 posts
status 26th Jul '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting 1inpink2inblue:</b>" That about sums it up. And in my case my in-laws are just as guilty of the psychological abuse towards ... [snip!] ... sure my kids are NOT around them anymore because I don't want them picking up any of that ignorant intolerant shit they spew. "</blockquote>




That sounds like my sister ex in laws in a nut shell to. His mother use to go through my sisters phone to make sure she wasn't calling me. Hence why she only called me from pay phones and work.

Jenny&Boopy Due June 26; 2 kids; Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania 7396 posts
status 26th Jul '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting 1inpink2inblue:</b>" Both but it was different with my x. he was on drugs and actually punched me and crap. I don't think ... [snip!] ... is verbally, emotionally, financially, ect abusive. And he has no excuse except he is a huge ass that was raised but idiots."</blockquote>




I'm sorry you've gone through that. I hope things can get better for you.

1inpink2inblue Switzerland 11961 posts
26th Jul '13
Quoting Tilda's Mommy:" <blockquote><b>Quoting 1inpink2inblue:</b>" That about sums it up. And in my case ... [snip!] ... use to go through my sisters phone to make sure she wasn't calling me. Hence why she only called me from pay phones and work."


Funny to see the kind of people that raise abusers isn't it?

Boobo&bugs 2 kids; Simpsonville, South Carolina 7684 posts
status 26th Jul '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting 1inpink2inblue:</b>" Funny to see the kind of people that raise abusers isn't it?"</blockquote>




It really is! I was dumbfounded by that one! She really had me convinced she was a completely different person! I see exactly how her son ended up the way he is.

1inpink2inblue Switzerland 11961 posts
26th Jul '13
Quoting
1inpink2inblue Switzerland 11961 posts
26th Jul '13
Quoting Tilda's Mommy:" <blockquote><b>Quoting 1inpink2inblue:</b>" Funny to see the kind of people that raise ... [snip!] ... that one! She really had me convinced she was a completely different person! I see exactly how her son ended up the way he is."


I was thinking the EXACT same thing when i was talking to my mother in law today. No wander your son is an abusive, intolerant, egotistical ass hole. I feel extremely sorry for her other 9 kids. They don't have a chance. Of course it is pretty obvious when you meet them even if you don't know them personally. they have a kid a year older than my dd and you can NOT understand him when he speaks. And last time I asked dh about him he said he thinks his parents stopped bring him to speech therapy because his mom had an issue with someone there. Which is why he had no social interaction outside of his immediate family until he was 16. Because his mom has issues with everyone.

Boobo&bugs 2 kids; Simpsonville, South Carolina 7684 posts
status 26th Jul '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting 1inpink2inblue:</b>" I was thinking the EXACT same thing when i was talking to my mother in law today. No wander your son ... [snip!] ... is why he had no social interaction outside of his immediate family until he was 16. Because his mom has issues with everyone. "</blockquote>




OH MY GOSH! It's like we're talking about the same woman!!!! She was insanely paranoid and thought everyone was out to get her. Or doing things to hurt her. It was insane!