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dcvjlnzcvlnxcklvn Emmybean 1 child; Plymouth, United Kingdom 1649 posts
26th Jul '13

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Dorian Gray fornication, ri, Wallis and Futuna 105373 posts
26th Jul '13
Quoting baking my bun:" He had a brain tumour when he was 10 and has been mollycoddled ever since and because of this expects ... [snip!] ... want to be a family I really do but I just don't know if I can ever stop being angry with him even if he does sort himself out."

Are you really sure it's worth another try?

Emmybean 1 child; Plymouth, United Kingdom 1649 posts
26th Jul '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting .Colleen.:</b>" Are you really sure it's worth another try?"</blockquote>



This is my dilemma! He isn't a bad man but I'm just f**king tired of being with someone that is still growing up. He is a great daddy and he is great to me when he puts the effort in he just doesn't put enough effort in. I feel like if I stay I could waste more time or if I leave I could miss something really great for me and my family.

user banned 2 kids; New York 34017 posts
26th Jul '13

you don't need her bio dad to be a family.

Colt's mommy 1 child; Moore, Oklahoma 21324 posts
26th Jul '13
Quoting baking my bun:" <blockquote><b>Quoting .Colleen.:</b>" Are you really sure it's worth another try?"</blockquote> ... [snip!] ... in. I feel like if I stay I could waste more time or if I leave I could miss something really great for me and my family."


If you really think that's it's clicked in his head this time, that he's treating people this way, I think it might be worth one more shot. I mean, is this time different than every other time before or has he broke down before and you thought he would change and he didn't?

Emmybean 1 child; Plymouth, United Kingdom 1649 posts
26th Jul '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Colt's mommy:</b>" If you really think that's it's clicked in his head this time, that he's treating people this way, I ... [snip!] ... is this time different than every other time before or has he broke down before and you thought he would change and he didn't? "</blockquote>



Yes, it's totally different. He is being calm and patient and I am giving him what for and he is taking it all. It is like he is letting me get out everything I need to or everything that has built up over the past two years and he isn't getting angry at me at all. Before I just kept my fingers crossed that it would change but I didn't really see any difference and stayed because I was scared of being a lone parent and the times he was great made it worth it but it hasn't been enough for a while. If I do give it one more shot I just don't know where to put all my rage? I don't want to be the one that ends up ruining it because I can't stop getting angry at him when he has actually changed!!!

Dorian Gray fornication, ri, Wallis and Futuna 105373 posts
26th Jul '13
Quoting baking my bun:" <blockquote><b>Quoting .Colleen.:</b>" Are you really sure it's worth another try?"</blockquote> ... [snip!] ... in. I feel like if I stay I could waste more time or if I leave I could miss something really great for me and my family."


If you do decide to give it another shot (sounds like you have been through alot and resentment can be hard to put to rest) I would be sure to have a very strict criteria and if it cannot be adhered to, I would walk on the first offense.



Emmybean 1 child; Plymouth, United Kingdom 1649 posts
26th Jul '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting .Colleen.:</b>" If you do decide to give it another shot (sounds like you have been through alot and resentment can ... [snip!] ... rest) I would be sure to have a very strict criteria and if it cannot be adhered to, I would walk on the first offense. "</blockquote>



I totally agree with you - I just have to figure out if I want to give it an other shot. It's a f**king hard decision because I need to do what is best for my daughter and if she has an unhappy mother she is going to ba an unhappy baby.

Colt's mommy 1 child; Moore, Oklahoma 21324 posts
26th Jul '13
Quoting baking my bun:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Colt's mommy:</b>" If you really think that's it's clicked ... [snip!] ... I don't want to be the one that ends up ruining it because I can't stop getting angry at him when he has actually changed!!!"


I understand that. I had a lot of resentment towards an ex because he pretty much left me for this other girl, then when she dumped him he came back to me. Of course, I was in highschool and it was all just dumb drama, but I just mean I understand the resentment and how it is not easy to let it go and it definitely affects your relationship. I guess my suggestion is that if you do decide to give him one more chance, that you continue to be open and honest with him. If you go through a rough year or two but stick it out and you're together and happy for the rest of your life, it would be worth it.

Dorian Gray fornication, ri, Wallis and Futuna 105373 posts
26th Jul '13
Quoting baking my bun:" <blockquote><b>Quoting .Colleen.:</b>" If you do decide to give it another shot (sounds ... [snip!] ... decision because I need to do what is best for my daughter and if she has an unhappy mother she is going to ba an unhappy baby."


Do you guys live together?

Maybe not living together and just "seeing" eachother and co-parenting would be a good first step.
Sometimes when people have had a rough time, one more time is too much.

and you don't want your lo to think it's ok to be treated like shit.

Emmybean 1 child; Plymouth, United Kingdom 1649 posts
26th Jul '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Colt's mommy:</b>" I understand that. I had a lot of resentment towards an ex because he pretty much left me for this other ... [snip!] ... go through a rough year or two but stick it out and you're together and happy for the rest of your life, it would be worth it. "</blockquote>




Yes, I think I deserve to be open and honest even if it cuts deep because I have taken his shit for so long. I don't want to do it just to be mean to him but I need to know he will be able to support me whilst I support him through his change.
I just wish I knew what I was taking on before I got pregnant but then again I wouldn't change my daughter for anything!
You do make a good point :)

Emmybean 1 child; Plymouth, United Kingdom 1649 posts
26th Jul '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting .Colleen.:</b>" Do you guys live together? Maybe not living together and just "seeing" eachother and co-parenting ... [snip!] ... have had a rough time, one more time is too much. and you don't want your lo to think it's ok to be treated like shit."</blockquote>




We do live together and we were just about to move into a house from our apparent meant but it just fell through and in a way I feel relieved even though it took us 6 months to find. I have thought and brought up the idea of living separately and it is something that I may bring up again as I've always liked the idea of living in a different home to your partner as it keeps things fresh.
Also, you are too f**king right I don't want my little girl to think its ok to be treated like shit and certainly not in a time that women are already used in the media so disgracefully. I just have to be brave enough to make sure I do make the right decision for her and for myself.

Dorian Gray fornication, ri, Wallis and Futuna 105373 posts
26th Jul '13
Quoting baking my bun:" <blockquote><b>Quoting .Colleen.:</b>" Do you guys live together? Maybe not living ... [snip!] ... in the media so disgracefully. I just have to be brave enough to make sure I do make the right decision for her and for myself."

good luck with whatever you decide.