Reply
How can he keep that info to himself? Caydence's mommy 4/4/09 32 kids; Las Vegas, Nevada 8474 posts
29th Jul '13

So today was my sisters bday and she decided to call our absent father ti check on our 2 &1/2 yo twin sibs and to vent a bet. She has been trying to get our father to do dna test for her sons doc so we can try to figure out what disorder her son has since he was born 3 yrs ago. Her mother has been willing to do the tests but the docs dont want to use her because she was adopted and it was a sealed adoption so she literally has no family health history to speak of. For 3 years now all they have been able to tell us is his disorder is def genetic but without his father and our father being willing to submit to testing its all been guess work that poor child has been through test after test and there are still no answers. My sister continually tried to get our father to do the tests because his 2 &1/2 yo son is disabled as well and he should umderstand her need for answers more then any of us. Come to find out he has been refusing to do the tests because until a recent health scare with his son forced him do the same tests for his son because at first they thought he was just Autistic. Now come to find out our little brother has another underlying gentic disorder and our father is a carrier for said genetic issue. And still knowing all of this for months now chose not to tell my sister about this. How as a parent who knows what its like to have a special needs child can you not want to reach out and share info that could help your own daughter find the answers for her son. And then after finally telling her about this jow can he yet againg refuse to do one more test to help his grandson.

I'm His Amy He's My Rory 2 kids; Caldwell, Idaho 49254 posts
29th Jul '13

Because no matter how much anyone wants to think it, it's no one else's business his or his son's medical issues.

Red Bottom 2 kids; Middelfart, Denmark 15275 posts
29th Jul '13

A genetic marker test of a child can determine anything they have or are a carrier of. No need to involve people who don't want to be involved.

I'm His Amy He's My Rory 2 kids; Caldwell, Idaho 49254 posts
29th Jul '13
Quoting Red Bottom:" A genetic marker test of a child can determine anything they have or are a carrier of. No need to involve people who don't want to be involved."


Exactly. Seeing his DNA isn't some magic 8 ball. The kids will be the same regardless.

Caydence's mommy 4/4/09 32 kids; Las Vegas, Nevada 8474 posts
29th Jul '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting I'm His Amy He's My Rory:</b>" Because no matter how much anyone wants to think it, it's no one else's business his or his son's medical issues."</blockquote>




No one is asking him to disclose his sons diagnoses she is asking him to help her find answers for her son, his only grandson. Hes never done anything for 4 out of 6 of his children he could at the very least do one tjing to help his grand child.

I'm His Amy He's My Rory 2 kids; Caldwell, Idaho 49254 posts
29th Jul '13
Quoting Caydence's mommy 4/4/09:" <blockquote><b>Quoting I'm His Amy He's My Rory:</b>" Because no matter how much anyone ... [snip!] ... Hes never done anything for 4 out of 6 of his children he could at the very least do one tjing to help his grand child."


Then what makes you think he'd care now? Seems like he's already set a pattern of behavior.

Red Bottom 2 kids; Middelfart, Denmark 15275 posts
29th Jul '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Caydence's mommy 4/4/09:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting I'm His Amy He's My Rory:</b>" Because no matter how much anyone ... [snip!] ... Hes never done anything for 4 out of 6 of his children he could at the very least do one tjing to help his grand child."</blockquote>




His markers have NOTHING to do with his grandchild. The only generic influence as far as carriers, is from the mother and father.

Caydence's mommy 4/4/09 32 kids; Las Vegas, Nevada 8474 posts
29th Jul '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Red Bottom:</b>" A genetic marker test of a child can determine anything they have or are a carrier of. No need to involve people who don't want to be involved."</blockquote>




I understand this the whole idea of having him do this is to give my nephews docs a clue as to where to look for answers. He is showing multiple signs that point to multiple disorders. He has been through so many test some painful and there are still no answers. Its very fristrating to know that our father doing one test could help find answers and he wont do it to help his grandson.

Red Bottom 2 kids; Middelfart, Denmark 15275 posts
29th Jul '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Caydence's mommy 4/4/09:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Red Bottom:</b>" A genetic marker test of a child can determine ... [snip!] ... Its very fristrating to know that our father doing one test could help find answers and he wont do it to help his grandson."</blockquote>




The grandfather doing the test would likely complicate things and give suggestions that are unnecessary because the markers were not passed on to his offspring. The parents are the only genetics tests that would benefit the child.

I'm His Amy He's My Rory 2 kids; Caldwell, Idaho 49254 posts
29th Jul '13
Quoting Caydence's mommy 4/4/09:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Red Bottom:</b>" A genetic marker test of a child can determine ... [snip!] ... Its very fristrating to know that our father doing one test could help find answers and he wont do it to help his grandson."


You are seriously missing the point.

Caydence's mommy 4/4/09 32 kids; Las Vegas, Nevada 8474 posts
29th Jul '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Red Bottom:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Caydence's mommy 4/4/09:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting ... [snip!] ... markers have NOTHING to do with his grandchild. The only generic influence as far as carriers, is from the mother and father."</blockquote>




What would you do if you has to watch your child suffer daily with mo idea what wrong with him no idea what to do to help him. And being told by his docs that having your father do a test could help find the answers you are looking for. Getting a diagnoses wont change Benny all it will do is give us and idea of where to go from here. What to do to help him continue to develop and lead as normal of a life as possible one day. Even his OTs have told us that know exactly what his diagnoses is will better help them to tailor his therapy in a way that will benifit him the most in the long run.

Red Bottom 2 kids; Middelfart, Denmark 15275 posts
29th Jul '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Caydence's mommy 4/4/09:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Red Bottom:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Caydence's ... [snip!] ... what his diagnoses is will better help them to tailor his therapy in a way that will benifit him the most in the long run."</blockquote>



Having visited a genetic specialist, I would say to skip the grandparents because its irrelevant and only test myself and my sons father.

Caydence's mommy 4/4/09 32 kids; Las Vegas, Nevada 8474 posts
29th Jul '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting I'm His Amy He's My Rory:</b>" You are seriously missing the point."</blockquote>




Im not though. I know by no means does he have to do any of this for Benny but I dont see why he wouldnt want to just for the fact that it migjt help. He has a special needs child he knows the struggles my sister is dealing with and he knows that the only help she geys is from me and OTs. I cant understand how he wouldnt want to do anything je could to help knowing how hard it is for her and her son. Why cant he for once be a parent to hos daughter and help her evem if he doesnt wam to be tested again he could at least give her an idea of where to look for answers or if not that be someone she can call and talk to not as her father but as another parent with a special needs child who can share his struggles with her and give her advice that may help her to be able to better help her child.

Caydence's mommy 4/4/09 32 kids; Las Vegas, Nevada 8474 posts
29th Jul '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Red Bottom:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Caydence's mommy 4/4/09:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting ... [snip!] ... a genetic specialist, I would say to skip the grandparents because its irrelevant and only test myself and my sons father."</blockquote>




The whole situation with her sons father is going to take time and courts because he wants nothing to do with his son. But she has been givebaome kind of hope that having her father tested could help out better. Why cant he try to help. Its not like she is asking him to parent her son or pay for hom she just wants him to be there to help her along her journey towards finally hearing why her son has tje issues je does. I get that he is not Bennys father and doesnt have to do anything at all but I dont understand why he wouldnt want to. And it kills me that every times she talks to me about this and asks me these same questions I dont have answers for her and I cant just make everything ok for her and my nephew.

Red Bottom 2 kids; Middelfart, Denmark 15275 posts
29th Jul '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Caydence's mommy 4/4/09:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Red Bottom:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Caydence's ... [snip!] ... this and asks me these same questions I dont have answers for her and I cant just make everything ok for her and my nephew."</blockquote>




Her father influenced HER genes, anything they can tell will be found in HER genes, not the grandfathers. He may be a carrier for things not passed on to her.