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hard drugs & pregnancy S ♥ J ♥ L 1 child; 3 angel babies; Philadelphia, PA, United States 3835 posts
2nd Aug '13

My best friend since the 3rd grade has been battling a heroin habit for about 8-9 months now. Her and her husband are using together, and I just found out the other month they are shooting.



I'm a recovering addict myself, and I've distanced myself from her contact within the last few months to only on FB here and there and a phone call once every few months. She also lives 3 hours away in the middle of the state. We were like sisters, and I'm literally the only one who still cares about her since she' lost all her family. I know what she's going through - I've been there. I'm 2 years into recovery myself and I feel like I can't give up on her because she never gave up on me when I was using.



With that being said, she told me the other day her and her husband are trying for a baby. :shock:



I've talked to her before about it, I honestly told her she is a fucking idiot if she thinks she's being smart by trying to conceive on heroin.



I know this girl like the back of my hand, and I know she needs to hear the hard truth. Being nice doesn't work. She posted a status on FB that said "sadly, the pregnancy test was negative. We're still going to try though!" And it just infuriated me. I honestly think that if she got pregnant - I would have to stop being her friend. I know 100% for a fact she would continue to use if she got pregnant.



Ugh. I just needed to vent about that. I'm loosing my best friend and any possible niece/nephew would be killed because of her using o born addicted and brought into her and her husbands crazy fucked up life. It's just disappointing me that she saw me go through my addiction, and she's making all the same mistakes I did.



I can't do this anymore with her.

ERMAGHERD BEEDS! 17 kids; Philadelphia, Pennsylvania 4099 posts
2nd Aug '13

The niece/nephew wouldn't necessarily be killed, but would probably be born physically dependent on heroin. And they would have to ween the baby off with morphine once he or she was born. It is really really sad though and addiction sucks and drugs suck. I'm actually 2 years clean, too, and have struggled similarly with my best friend. It's sad to see someone you love lose themselves so much

S ♥ J ♥ L 1 child; 3 angel babies; Philadelphia, PA, United States 3835 posts
2nd Aug '13
Quoting ERMAGHERD BEEDS!:" The niece/nephew wouldn't necessarily be killed, but would probably be born physically dependent on heroin. ... [snip!] ... 2 years clean, too, and have struggled similarly with my best friend. It's sad to see someone you love lose themselves so much"


She could loose the baby to the drugs, is what I meant. I just can't see this child I know I would love like my own be brought into this life. I know she isn't giving the drugs up any time soon.



She knows what I went trough, was there when I OD'd. And she's just making every single mistake I did and she saw where it lead me. I almost died twice.



It just hurts to know where she is going with the addiction and I cannot stop her.

Amber + 2♡ 2 kids; Kansas 19294 posts
2nd Aug '13

That is really, really sad. But if she continues to use while pregnant they're going to have to wean the baby off of drugs and would more than likely be taken from her anyways.

S ♥ J ♥ L 1 child; 3 angel babies; Philadelphia, PA, United States 3835 posts
2nd Aug '13
Quoting ERMAGHERD BEEDS!:" The niece/nephew wouldn't necessarily be killed, but would probably be born physically dependent on heroin. ... [snip!] ... 2 years clean, too, and have struggled similarly with my best friend. It's sad to see someone you love lose themselves so much"


It's a real eye opener to me to make me understand how everyone felt when I was using. I can't believe I ever put people through such worry.

S ♥ J ♥ L 1 child; 3 angel babies; Philadelphia, PA, United States 3835 posts
2nd Aug '13
Quoting MJ's Mommy♥:" That is really, really sad. But if she continues to use while pregnant they're going to have to wean the baby off of drugs and would more than likely be taken from her anyways."


I know the child would end up being taken away from her. And I know she would ask me to be the godmother, which breaks my heart. I don't think I could accept and I would have to stop contact with her. I couldn't stand by and watch that happen.

bia. 2 kids; ., ., Portugal 75219 posts
2nd Aug '13

That's just so sad. :(

Amber + 2♡ 2 kids; Kansas 19294 posts
2nd Aug '13
Quoting S ♥ J ♥ L:" I know the child would end up being taken away from her. And I know she would ask me to be the godmother, ... [snip!] ... my heart. I don't think I could accept and I would have to stop contact with her. I couldn't stand by and watch that happen. "


You should remind her of that. That the baby would be taken from her in the long run if she kept using during pregnancy. Why in the hell would you want to make a baby suffer like that?! Oh my gosh, that's just so heart breaking :cry:

Minion 3 kids; ., GA, United States 21802 posts
2nd Aug '13

DS's mom was on drugs all through her pregnancy.
He's very lucky he doesn't have serious issues.
He does have FAS and probably ODD. He has a very hard time understanding consequences to actions he has done hundreds of times. Like if he jumps off the top of the counter he will get hurt. Or if he pulls the cat's ears she will bite. Or if he hits his sister or throws something at us e gets in trouble.



He has bad attention problems too. He's also tiny for his age. He is almost 6 and looks four at the most. DD just turned 4 and she looks older. He can fit into 12 month waist pants.



He's lucky that's all the issues he has.



Your friend is an idiot if she's trying to have a baby and is on drugs.

S ♥ J ♥ L 1 child; 3 angel babies; Philadelphia, PA, United States 3835 posts
2nd Aug '13
Quoting MJ's Mommy♥:" You should remind her of that. That the baby would be taken from her in the long run if she kept using ... [snip!] ... pregnancy. Why in the hell would you want to make a baby suffer like that?! Oh my gosh, that's just so heart breaking :cry:"


She would lie and says she clean and I know she would TRY to be clean. But it just wouldn't happen. Her husband is a POS and he'd probably end up using, which would make her use.



It just wouldn't end well. She though she was pregnant back in May, and was late for about 10 days. I asked her if she was still using, she said yea.



So knowing that she may be pregnant - she was still injecting it. Thankfully, she wasn't that time.

S ♥ J ♥ L 1 child; 3 angel babies; Philadelphia, PA, United States 3835 posts
2nd Aug '13
Quoting Minion:" DS's mom was on drugs all through her pregnancy. He's very lucky he doesn't have serious issues. He ... [snip!] ... waist pants. He's lucky that's all the issues he has. Your friend is an idiot if she's trying to have a baby and is on drugs."


That's such a shame.



I just think I would end up cutting all ties with her if she gets pregnant and she is still using. She lives so far from me that she could just lie anyway.



She lied to me a few weeks ago, said she was clean and I believed her. I saw her 14 year old sister a few days later, and said she shot up right in front of her.



Her marriage is going to fall apart just as fast because of it. They're so toxic for each other.

Amber + 2♡ 2 kids; Kansas 19294 posts
2nd Aug '13
Quoting S ♥ J ♥ L:" She would lie and says she clean and I know she would TRY to be clean. But it just wouldn't happen. ... [snip!] ... using, she said yea. So knowing that she may be pregnant - she was still injecting it. Thankfully, she wasn't that time. "


Right, but I'd still remind her that she wouldn't end up with a baby in the end anyways. She'd be putting herself through more problems, pain, and stress in the long run. They'd make her get clean and show she can stay clean before giving the baby back, which I'm sure you already know. But maybe she just needs to be reminded of that. Sounds like she and her husband need to go their separate ways and get clean. It sucks be an addict, I've been there too. It's really hard to get clean and you have to WANT it.

bia. 2 kids; ., ., Portugal 75219 posts
2nd Aug '13
Quoting MJ's Mommy♥:" You should remind her of that. That the baby would be taken from her in the long run if she kept using ... [snip!] ... pregnancy. Why in the hell would you want to make a baby suffer like that?! Oh my gosh, that's just so heart breaking :cry:"


Wouldn't they take it as soon as it was born?



I have a friend on facebook ( from BG:( ) and she's using, lost all 3 of her kids, but didn't touch it while pregnant (wasn't using then)

Minion 3 kids; ., GA, United States 21802 posts
2nd Aug '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting S ♥ J ♥ L:</b>" That's such a shame. I just think I would end up cutting all ties with her if she gets pregnant and ... [snip!] ... up right in front of her. Her marriage is going to fall apart just as fast because of it. They're so toxic for each other. "</blockquote>



That's so sad.



And drug addict parents usually don't keep their kids for long. DS and his sister were permanently removed from the mom when DS was about 1.
Does your friend realize that? And if she's tests positive when the baby is born they'll take it away at the hospital.
I feel so bad for the potential baby.

S ♥ J ♥ L 1 child; 3 angel babies; Philadelphia, PA, United States 3835 posts
2nd Aug '13
Quoting MJ's Mommy♥:" Right, but I'd still remind her that she wouldn't end up with a baby in the end anyways. She'd be putting ... [snip!] ... separate ways and get clean. It sucks be an addict, I've been there too. It's really hard to get clean and you have to WANT it."


She knows all of that. I know she would try, it just wouldn't happen. She would slip and relapse. Its sad that I don't have faith in her. But she's never given me hope that I could.



She needs to want it, and she does and doesn't at the same time.



She always gets angry when I'm not happy for her when she tells me she might be pregnant. She just doesn't get what she's getting herself into. She's an idiot.