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Baby Making 7 blessings so far.... Due February 3; 6 kids; Glen Burnie, Maryland 8799 posts
7th Aug '13

Do you automatically assume that a family w/several children has never experienced fertility issues?
My Dh & I have both experienced fertility issues. Thankfully mine resolved on its own(several years ago) but dh's has to be continually treated & is quite expensive (insurance doesn't cover his medication)
It seems like the fact that our fertility treatment being successful(several times) has lead others to believe that we have never struggled to conceive or experienced losses :(

user banned 33 kids; Blytheville, Arkansas 7534 posts
7th Aug '13

It's not something I really consider TBH. Like, if I see a couple with multiple children, my first thought isn't "Wow they must be great at being pregnant." it's usually "Oh thank God I don't have that many." :D



I'm more likely to see a woman 10-15 years older than me with a child 12 or so and under and assume that she DID have fertility issues. It's something I'm trying to get out of because of people making the decision to start families later.

Tiffany Knickerbocker 19 kids; Indiana 519 posts
7th Aug '13

Cant say I really ever think to much about anybody having fertility issues. I actually just kind of like wow on how people can handle having that many kids. I have 3 and I know that's my limit, but for those who want more and can keep their sanity more power to them :)

California Dreaming ♡ Due April 25; 3 kids; The Valley, CA, United States 3181 posts
7th Aug '13

No, I don't assume that. Sorry you guys have to struggle.

7 blessings so far.... Due February 3; 6 kids; Glen Burnie, Maryland 8799 posts
7th Aug '13
Quoting ArmyWife & Mom x3:" No, I don't assume that. Sorry you guys have to struggle."


Thanks . We don't often share our fertility issue experience because it is a touchy subject for dh. As soon as I want to give some insight on fertility issues to someone else , I am dismissed b4 I can even explain our journey and how we overcame the issues at hand.

Ꭶwan♥Nemo 1 child; Kansas City, Missouri 7416 posts
7th Aug '13

I do think that. My aunt has fertility issues, shes 42 and still trying, and she always says, all she wants is one and she'll be happy after all the years of trying. In my mind, if people have fertility issues, they are happy if they finally get 1-2 kids out of all the money, trying, losses etc.

California Dreaming ♡ Due April 25; 3 kids; The Valley, CA, United States 3181 posts
7th Aug '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting 6 blessings so far....:</b>" Thanks . We don't often share our fertility issue experience because it is a touchy subject for dh. ... [snip!] ... on fertility issues to someone else , I am dismissed b4 I can even explain our journey and how we overcame the issues at hand."</blockquote>




I can't imagine how hard that would be for your DH to share openly.

Back to Noob Status Ohio 14048 posts
7th Aug '13
Quoting Just Ames:" Honestly yes, I assume there are no issues with multiple children. Yes there is help out there for couples ... [snip!] ... is a significant gap between kids. Someone with multiple kids, such as yourself, does make it seem "easy" on the outside. JMO."


:!:

Back to Noob Status Ohio 14048 posts
7th Aug '13
Quoting 6 blessings so far....:" Thanks . We don't often share our fertility issue experience because it is a touchy subject for dh. ... [snip!] ... on fertility issues to someone else , I am dismissed b4 I can even explain our journey and how we overcame the issues at hand."


Yeah, but you also have to realize that there are so many couples who have tried over ten years and have not had ONE kid. My neighbor tried for about twelve to thirteen years and ended up with one son in her forties.



Also, yesterday, I was watching a true life episode about two couples desperately trying to have kids. One couple was successful with first time IVF, but the second couple had tried over six years for a baby with several rounds of IVF and no success...not even a pregnancy.



So, while I'm not trying to downplay your struggle, recognize that there are couples out there who will never be able to have one child, let alone have six and counting. My heart goes out to them. They would be happy with just ONE baby.

7 blessings so far.... Due February 3; 6 kids; Glen Burnie, Maryland 8799 posts
7th Aug '13
Quoting Just Ames:" Honestly yes, I assume there are no issues with multiple children. Yes there is help out there for couples ... [snip!] ... is a significant gap between kids. Someone with multiple kids, such as yourself, does make it seem "easy" on the outside. JMO."


there are several gaps between our children (17yr old has a different biological father) Our children are 13, 12, 6, 2, & 8mo...... it wasn't until right b4 I got pregnant w/our now 2yr old that dh was able to get full understanding & steady control of his fertility issues coupled w/the financial means to regularly take his medication. I am sure that others will agree that needing assistance to reproduce for a man can be just as devastating on them as it is for a woman. I think the difference may come in that certain male fertility issues can be corrected/maintained easier and less invasively than most female fertility which makes continuing to reproduce easier in those cases.

Hollymailhot 1 child; Laporte, Minnesota 374 posts
7th Aug '13

I probably do assume they don't have fertility issues however I know that is not always the case...an extreme example would be my step-Grandma who was told she would never have a baby and then went on to have 13 children!

Waiting4Jan 1 child; 1 angel baby; Georgia 491 posts
7th Aug '13

I have never really thought of actually. I come from a large family (3 brothers and 3 sisters, and my mom had 3 miscarriages that I know of). When I see big families the idea that they may, or may not have had a hard time conceiving or had fertility issues isn't what comes to mind. However I am very sorry your husbands treatments are not covered by your insurance and are so pricey.

nicolelynnexo Due August 8 (girl); TTC since May 2012; 1 angel baby; Springfield, WV, United States 370 posts
7th Aug '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Back to Noob Status:</b>" Yeah, but you also have to realize that there are so many couples who have tried over ten years and ... [snip!] ... be able to have one child, let alone have six and counting. My heart goes out to them. They would be happy with just ONE baby."</blockquote>




This exactly. I didnt even know OP had issues with having so many children already. I guess thats just how i view things. If i see an older woman (40's) with only one child, i either think that she just wanted one child or had a lot of problems.




And i bawled my eyes out while watching that episode /:

HannahW314 TTC since Mar 2011; Georgia 23 posts
7th Aug '13

People assume you don't have fertility issues when you send me a message like you did this morning. For those of you who missed my post. The following is a message I received from the OP this am in regards to my decision to pursue IVF.




Just wanted to let you know that I read your profile and I will be praying for you. Please take some time to really think about ''God's Will'' when it comes to reproductive technology. There is a major differences between utilizing God giving medical procedures to correct physical issues reguarding fertility & attempting to create life. I am not trying to be judgemental or push my personnel convictions on anyone.
I know you are worrying already about the cost of ivf. If this is the path the Lord intends you to follow, don't you think he will provide a way for the procedure?
I hope I am not overstepping my bounds here. And no matter what you and dh decide , I will be praying. Family is meant to support each other & we are the body of Christ!




Just so you know I will continue to put your message on forums until you leave people alone. I am a believer but this is why people get the wrong impression of faith.

Ꭶwan♥Nemo 1 child; Kansas City, Missouri 7416 posts
7th Aug '13
Quoting HannahW314:" People assume you don't have fertility issues when you send me a message like you did this morning. For ... [snip!] ... your message on forums until you leave people alone. I am a believer but this is why people get the wrong impression of faith."


:?