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I Stab People 3 kids; Zambia 6604 posts
7th Aug '13

wow wtf?

OP you have some balls! and they need kicked.

what a judgemental shit. im sure your god is happy

Back to Noob Status Ohio 14048 posts
7th Aug '13
Quoting HannahW314:" People assume you don't have fertility issues when you send me a message like you did this morning. For ... [snip!] ... your message on forums until you leave people alone. I am a believer but this is why people get the wrong impression of faith."


Oh wow....



What an unbelievably shitty thing to say! It is okay for her husband to take meds to solve his "fertility issue" but you can't go through IVF to get just one baby?



What a hypocrite.

user banned 33 kids; Blytheville, Arkansas 7534 posts
7th Aug '13

This thread just instantly gained WTF status.



OP you basically told her "Have you ever considered that God didn't want you to have kids?"



Holy f**k.

HannahW314 TTC since Mar 2011; Georgia 23 posts
7th Aug '13

After this message she sent another one to which she said she felt "convicted" to send me a message. Ha! I realize IVF is not the easiest decision to make but just because she doesn't agree she shouldn't have confronted me, especially after my IVF consult yesterday! Ugh!

Waiting4Jan 1 child; 1 angel baby; Georgia 491 posts
7th Aug '13

Well, shit has gotten real since I last looked in on this post. :shock:

7 blessings so far.... Due February 3; 6 kids; Glen Burnie, Maryland 8799 posts
7th Aug '13
Quoting HannahW314:" After this message she sent another one to which she said she felt "convicted" to send me a message. ... [snip!] ... to make but just because she doesn't agree she shouldn't have confronted me, especially after my IVF consult yesterday! Ugh!"


I am truly sorry that my message was taken out of context. I wasn't implying that there was anything wrong w/seeking or obtaining help for fertility issues. I was only encouraging not to let it consume all aspects of your life.
Before my dh knew that having mumps as a child is what destroyed his natural ability to reproduce and his medication started working he was not a pleasant person. Depression and anxiety crushed his spirit and almost destroyed our marriage and his business . It was a heartbreaking experience that I wish no one had to endure.
I never implied that your pain or suffering was ''Gods will'' , I was trying to encourage you to continue to seek his will for the future since you stated in your profile that you were attempting to get back to your faith.
I am truly sorry that the message I was trying to convey is not how it came across :(

7 blessings so far.... Due February 3; 6 kids; Glen Burnie, Maryland 8799 posts
7th Aug '13
Quoting The Andromeda Strain:" This thread just instantly gained WTF status. OP you basically told her "Have you ever considered that God didn't want you to have kids?" Holy f**k. "


When I mentioned God supplying for the procedure I was being totally sincere...like , I will be praying that the funds are provided. Ugh, written texts to often gets taken out of context. And it wasn't until your ''take on it'' that I realized..... holy crap that is definitely not how I meant it :(
Thank you for bringing that to my attention but it was totally not how it was meant to be taken.

7 blessings so far.... Due February 3; 6 kids; Glen Burnie, Maryland 8799 posts
7th Aug '13
Quoting Back to Noob Status:" Oh wow.... What an unbelievably shitty thing to say! It is okay for her husband to take meds to solve his "fertility issue" but you can't go through IVF to get just one baby? What a hypocrite. "


when I mentioned there being a difference between regular fertility treatment (meds/procedures) & ''creating life'' (ivf) I wasn't saying one was okay and one wasn't.... I meant literally that ''there is a differance'' . IVF is a whole more complicated, emotional, expensive realm that can cause major strains in all aspects of life. I Guess I should've elaborate on my simple statement so that people wouldn't try to read between the lines to find a meaning that I wasn't trying to imply.

I Stab People 3 kids; Zambia 6604 posts
7th Aug '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting 6 blessings so far....:</b>" when I mentioned there being a difference between regular fertility treatment (meds/procedures) & ... [snip!] ... on my simple statement so that people wouldn't try to read between the lines to find a meaning that I wasn't trying to imply."</blockquote>




Your just trying to save face. Just stop

user banned 21 kids; North Dakota 3800 posts
8th Aug '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting I Stab People:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting 6 blessings so far....:</b>" when I mentioned there being ... [snip!] ... the lines to find a meaning that I wasn't trying to imply."</blockquote> Your just trying to save face. Just stop"</blockquote>




This. OP I'm sorry but however difficult it was for you to get your 6 children, you did not "suffer" from infertility. Come back and b***h when you can't even have one...and your message to that woman was despicable. God's will, my ass.

Amelia [a Mom] 1 child; 4 angel babies; Tallahassee, Florida 15814 posts
status 8th Aug '13
Quoting 6 blessings so far....:" Do you automatically assume that a family w/several children has never experienced fertility issues? ... [snip!] ... being successful(several times) has lead others to believe that we have never struggled to conceive or experienced losses :( "


It wasn't the number of children that prompted me to say what I did. It was the insensitivity on your part. If you've really struggled with infertility you know that is one of the worst things to say to an infertile. Maybe your husband knows that. I've been fortunate enough to have it said to me only once but it felt like a giant slap in face.

7 blessings so far.... Due February 3; 6 kids; Glen Burnie, Maryland 8799 posts
8th Aug '13
Quoting Amelia Margaret:" It wasn't the number of children that prompted me to say what I did. It was the insensitivity on your ... [snip!] ... your husband knows that. I've been fortunate enough to have it said to me only once but it felt like a giant slap in face. "


as I tried explaining in other posts above.... my statements were taken totally out of context and apparently read in sarcasm when I was being sincere :(
It wasn't until another poster ''spelled out'' how it read to her that I even understood why it was upsetting & I am truly sorry that I didn't articulate things properly.
Yes, my dh has heard insensitive things reguarding fertility , especially since I conceived my oldest from a previous relationship . Everyone automatically assumed the ''issue'' was his and many people even made snide remarks in attempt to add humor to the situation or would say, ''oh well, atleast you married a woman w/a kid already'' It is those comments that I believed fueled his intial change of heart to have more than only 2 children once his meds started working.
I would never purposefully say something insensitive to another person ttc.

user banned 33 kids; Blytheville, Arkansas 7534 posts
9th Aug '13
Quoting 6 blessings so far....:" as I tried explaining in other posts above.... my statements were taken totally out of context and ... [snip!] ... only 2 children once his meds started working. I would never purposefully say something insensitive to another person ttc."


I don't see why someone who has had fertility issues in the past would tell someone else exploring options to "really think about what they're doing".



IVF isn't something you JUST DO. Obviously that couple has already gone through a lot of heartbreak in trying to conceive because NO ONE would jump to such an emotionally and financially taxing process without first trying natural conception.



I can't tell if you're trying to save face or if you really are that ignorant.

7 blessings so far.... Due February 3; 6 kids; Glen Burnie, Maryland 8799 posts
9th Aug '13
Quoting The Andromeda Strain:" I don't see why someone who has had fertility issues in the past would tell someone else exploring options ... [snip!] ... without first trying natural conception. I can't tell if you're trying to save face or if you really are that ignorant. "


I am not trying to ''save face'' nor am I ignorant on the subject of ivf. I am a bit older than a lot of other mommas on bg. I have had several friends attempt the ivf process (some ended up happy w/a baby or 2, some ended up heartbroken & in financial ruin w/no baby for their efforts)
2 of my friends were devastated after failed procedures because they no longer had the option of adopting because they diminished their savings :(
My own sister decided against attempting ivf and decided to pursue foster care .
On the other hand my SIL's mom (was older & financially secure & was blessed her 1st round of ivf to get a health baby) another member of my church was blessed w/twins after 2 unsuccessful rounds )
There are just so many pro's and cons to the whole procedure that I don't ever want any woman to let their feelings lead them into financing a small fortune for no guarentees. Research can provide places that will only charge partial fees unless a baby is obtained from procedure, other clinics will charge a 1 time procedure fee for several ivf attempts (some up to 5 cycles for the cost of one), There are also certain charities (depending where you live) that help w/funding for fertility issues)

_______Nope_________ 23772 posts
9th Aug '13

Yeah, OP, no one ignores your advice just because you have children. They are ignoring your advice because of the way you give it.



Also, it is much easier for a person who has managed to have 6 children (5 with your husband it sounds like) to tell someone who hasn't been able to have one about God's Will and rethinking things. It comes across as horribly hypocritical. They may both be suffering with infertility, but in totally different ways and extents. It seems like a person with a cold comparing being sick to a person suffering from cancer, and not only that, but trying to tell the person with cancer that it's just God's Will. It comes across as condescending, which is even WORSE when they'd probably kill to be where you are, with 6 kids.