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why we have different last names SurvivingApril 18 kids; West Virginia 174 posts
Aug 9th '13

How do you answer the question why do we have different last names than you?



Both my children have the same last name, which is their fathers, and I have my maiden name.
We were never married. I think the hardest part to my specific issue is that he does NOT use his visitation and they don't even know his name anymore.. (first or last for that matter) and I don't talk about him in front of the kids for this reason. So it's hard to think of a way. Can you help me?
All help appreciated!

FanGirl 2 kids; Tennessee 24363 posts
Aug 9th '13

how old are they? i'd have honestly changed their last names to yours

Mama Van D Due November 3; 2 kids; 1 angel baby; Unity, Maine 2454 posts
Aug 9th '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting THE Draco Malfoy:</b>" how old are they? i'd have honestly changed their last names to yours"</blockquote>




I agree.

Amber ♡ Due April 6; 2 kids; Nunya, KS, United States 19952 posts
status Aug 9th '13
Quoting THE Draco Malfoy:" how old are they? i'd have honestly changed their last names to yours"


I would, too.

Bad Things Blacksburg, SC, United States 21224 posts
Aug 9th '13
Quoting SurvivingApril:" How do you answer the question why do we have different last names than you? Both my children have the ... [snip!] ... talk about him in front of the kids for this reason. So it's hard to think of a way. Can you help me? All help appreciated!"


To tell the children? "You have your father's last name. He didn't marry me so I didn't get his last name, too."



Anyone else? "I'm adopted."




I'm pretty sure you can get their last names changed if they wanted that. I got mine changed to my step father's.

user banned 2 kids; Silly, Belgium 6539 posts
Aug 9th '13

A different situation than yours, but DD doesn't have my last name neither will this baby. In my culture, women don't change their last names at marriage. I would just tell them that they were named after their father.

SurvivingApril 18 kids; West Virginia 174 posts
Aug 9th '13

I thought I needed his permission to change their last name?



I would like to change it to mine if I can.

Onalee's Mummy Due August 26 (boy); 1 child; Newcastle, Australia 5355 posts
Aug 9th '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting SurvivingApril:</b>" I thought I needed his permission to change their last name? I would like to change it to mine if I can."</blockquote>




Would he give you permission?

SurvivingApril 18 kids; West Virginia 174 posts
Aug 9th '13

No he wouldn't.



He's fought me two years in court for visitation and has not seen them but twice in two years.. can see them every other week supervised if wanted to.
He lives to make my life difficult type person - he would never agree to change their names.

Amber ♡ Due April 6; 2 kids; Nunya, KS, United States 19952 posts
status Aug 9th '13
Quoting SurvivingApril:" No he wouldn't. He's fought me two years in court for visitation and has not seen them but twice in ... [snip!] ... week supervised if wanted to. He lives to make my life difficult type person - he would never agree to change their names."


I don't think you'd have to get him to agree to change them since he isn't around and it's in best interest for your children for their last name to be yours. You should talk to a lawyer.