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Am I wrong? Kait. 3 kids; Iowa 2345 posts
10th Aug '13

Our 5 year old has had supervised visitation with her mother (her grandma is the supervisor) for the past few months. Before that they had no contact since she was 1. Anyway, this is the second time in a row we went to pick her up where she was riding a bike (which wasn't her size) with no helmet. Finally this time I said something. I asked where her helmet was and they freaked out on me and told me that "she doesn't need one here." I said "she needs one anywhere, she is a 5 year old. Protecting her head should be of your concern." They told me to "fuck off and get off my property"... I guess I don't know. They felt pretty strongly about her not needing a helmet.



Is there anything I can do? The grandma tried pulling the "it isn't illegal" card..I told her just because it isn't illegal doesn't mean it isn't smart...just like when you and her mother smoke in the car around her. She said "well..." and that was it. Ugh.



Does your 5 year old wear a helmet while riding a bike?

P3RvYmCp3rv 2 kids; Carlyle, Illinois 11904 posts
10th Aug '13

I need to get Cylus one. If we had one he would be wearing it. It is on my list of things to do but he just got an interest in riding his bike like 3 days ago so yea.

kr.r 1 child; Dallas, TX, United States 8737 posts
10th Aug '13

Jesus Christ, anger issues.



Is that something you can bring up in court or to whoever arranged the whole visitation thing? I'd want to report that they weren't protecting her while riding a bicycle and smoking in the car while she was there too. I know those things might not be illegal, but damnit, they should be. I can't stand seeing kids stuck in cars with their parents/guardians while they light up, and why were they so angry about you telling them to make sure she's safe? Gaaaaaaahh. They don't sound lovely at all.

eKnuckles Due February 13; Florida 3472 posts
10th Aug '13

Where was she? On the road/concrete? If she was riding around on a grass lawn...idk I'd probably be more lax honestly. Unless they were trying to go down some hills or something, of course.

Nut ღ Meg Beverly Hills, CA, United States 40239 posts
10th Aug '13

It's not a state law there, so I doubt there is anything you could legally do.

Gosloving 1 child; Washington 12831 posts
10th Aug '13

Lol, she is five. I don't see her, not wearing a helmet such a big deal. Unless she's riding in bigger rides than she can. Riding in streets, and or unsupervised. DD is three and she rides her bike without helmet. I guess I'm a horrible mother. :roll:



The whole smoking when her though, yeah! I'd definitely go to nearest police station and ask if I can do anything about it.

Subtle As A Hurricane 2 kids; Texas 4126 posts
10th Aug '13

Helmets are always necessary when riding a bike. It's very easy to fall off and hit your head. I had to get stitches on my forehead as a child because I fell off my bike and hit a metal box controlling sprinklers, lights, etc. My helmet didn't help in that situation, but it certainly did in many others that didn't require a trip to the ER.

Kait. 3 kids; Iowa 2345 posts
10th Aug '13
Quoting Spacetits:" Yes, my kids wear helmets. I prefer my children to be safe. It is also a safety law, here. ETA: Not sure what you can do about it, they would probably brush it off. I guess it wouldn't hurt to ask."


She ALWAYS does here too. She is the clumsiest little girl ever so it's a must. She fell off this bike in front of us and her "mom" because it was too big for her to get down alone.

Kait. 3 kids; Iowa 2345 posts
10th Aug '13
Quoting eKnuckles:" Where was she? On the road/concrete? If she was riding around on a grass lawn...idk I'd probably be more lax honestly. Unless they were trying to go down some hills or something, of course."


On the cement sidewalk. While her mother sat 5 houses down smoking. She wasn't being supervised very well in my opinion.

eKnuckles Due February 13; Florida 3472 posts
10th Aug '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Kait.:</b>" On the cement sidewalk. While her mother sat 5 houses down smoking. She wasn't being supervised very well in my opinion. "</blockquote>



That is so sad :/ Is she your step daughter?

Vicki McDonald Due September 28 (boy); 3 kids; Belleville, Ontario 927 posts
10th Aug '13
Quoting Kait.:" Our 5 year old has had supervised visitation with her mother (her grandma is the supervisor) for the ... [snip!] ... smoke in the car around her. She said "well..." and that was it. Ugh. Does your 5 year old wear a helmet while riding a bike? "


My 11 year old wears a helmet when riding a bike! it's common sense. And it's the law here. It's also against the law to smoke in a vehicle with a child. Just move to Ontario and you'll be peaches :P Honestly though, could you request a different supervisor? ( I never did understand why the people who raise incompetent parents are ever considered to replace them. Oh look, you kid is too stupid to take care of their kid, why don't you take over? )

Monsters² Mom 2 kids; 4 angel babies; Dahlgren, VA, United States 4992 posts
10th Aug '13
Quoting Kait.:" On the cement sidewalk. While her mother sat 5 houses down smoking. She wasn't being supervised very well in my opinion. "


Its a pretty mean move but can you threaten to take away visitation if she doesn't start putting your childs safety first? Especially with smoking in the car with her, I know in California its against the law to smoke in the car with a minor.

Kait. 3 kids; Iowa 2345 posts
10th Aug '13
Quoting kr.r:" Jesus Christ, anger issues. Is that something you can bring up in court or to whoever arranged the whole ... [snip!] ... up, and why were they so angry about you telling them to make sure she's safe? Gaaaaaaahh. They don't sound lovely at all."


They are terrible. It's unreal to anyone who knows the situation that she sees her. Even DHS has called us to see how things are going because they heard she got visits again and they just can't believe it. She has done unspeakable things and still gets visits so I'm sure nothing will come of this even if we try, but I'm sick of being quiet. She's "bipolar" but told the judge she can't take her meds because she gained 2 pounds and she doesn't "need that"... She's so dumb. The saddest part of all is that she thinks the things she does (like smoking with LO) are fine, she sees nothing wrong with them. LO hates going there. It's just a horrible situation.

Kait. 3 kids; Iowa 2345 posts
10th Aug '13
Quoting Monsters ⚓ Mom:" Its a pretty mean move but can you threaten to take away visitation if she doesn't start putting your ... [snip!] ... first? Especially with smoking in the car with her, I know in California its against the law to smoke in the car with a minor. "


I wish more than anything is was illegal here too. It NEEDS to be everywhere in my own opinion. We can't do anything. We had a hearing and we've had trial. She had overnights taken away at trial, but still sees her 3 hours on Wednesdays and every other Saturday from 9-7. It sucks.

Kait. 3 kids; Iowa 2345 posts
10th Aug '13
Quoting eKnuckles:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Kait.:</b>" On the cement sidewalk. While her mother sat 5 ... [snip!] ... She wasn't being supervised very well in my opinion. "</blockquote> That is so sad :/ Is she your step daughter?"


Yes, I've raised her since she was 1. She just turned 5 on March 26th :) I honestly thought her bio mother would never come back into her life after no phone calls for 4 years. I consider my own and she's always called me mom and her bio mom by her first name. It's sad that she has to be in a situation like this.