Cast Your Vote:
- never ever. i'd burn off their genitals first! -- Votes: 63
- really? that's an option? -- Votes: 29
- perhaps, i don't know yet - i don't have a teenager -- Votes: 84
- i've already stocked condoms & plan b in their nightstand -- Votes: 19
- sex is for bonobos & porn stars, of which my teenager is neither -- Votes: 6
so, just read this interesting article on slate.com about letting your teenager have "sleep overs".
and the last paragraph is compelling to me.
"Allowing sleepovers in not a license for licentiousness. If anything, the practice even tends to reinforce the idea that sex is about relationships, whereas sneaking around lays the groundwork for the hookup culture that has caused so much hand-wringing of late. Parents actually have the power to lay the groundwork for more responsible behavior about sexual health and relationship management while making sex a little less illicit. Might not be such a terrible idea."
i can totally imagine how off-putting it'd be to talk to your teenager (and their boyfriend/girlfriend) about sex in explicit functional terms... and handing them the condoms and letting them know "you're right there" if they need any support.
so - you're acknowledging their sexuality as existent, approving of it's potential and then thoroughly ruining any desire to do it (i'm guessing) by being the parent who's talking about it in graphic / caring detail.
it becomes a personal responsibility at that point. neither teen would be able to ignore all the data, not to mention they wouldn't be getting drunk and hooking up at a party, they'd be sober and in their childhood bed.
lots of reasons to REALLY think about what it means to do it...
i like it!
what do you think?
I think if kids know that they're having sex they'll be too embarrassed cause all they're gonna think about is us outside knowing what they're doing lol. (I hope that made sense).
It's not really something I like to think about, since my girls are 3.5 years and 3 weeks. But I know from experience that having overprotective, overbearing parents leads to sneaking around. At the age of 18 I wasn't even allowed to date without a chaperone and my curfew was 8 pm. My parents' extreme rules led to rebellion on my part. I never got into any trouble, fortunately, but I'd much rather respect my girls and have them respect me in return. That's all I have for now.
NOPE NOPE NOPE. Not in my house.....
Obviously if she/he is going to have sex I can't stop them. I can get DD on birth control, I can supply condoms (which I will) AND I will entertain the idea of safe sex and try to have all the talks I can with her.
If she gets pregnant we will deal with it when the time comes. But I don't want to smack myself in the forehead and be like OMG what if it happened that night i let him sleepover......
i don't think i would feel comfortable with my kids having sex in their rooms at my house... I know I want to be open and honest with them, and make sure they are on birth control/have condoms and such to be on the safe side, knowing that if its something they really wanted to do it they will do it anyway...
I would speak to my child about sex but i do not believe i will allow it in my home.
I'll always be there for my kids to come to me about getting condoms/birth control, but I don't think I'll like encourage it. They certainly wont be in trouble if they are caught, they'll just have a talk about getting condoms/birth control since I know that they are sexually active
<blockquote><b>Quoting I♥RYLEIGH:</b>" NOPE NOPE NOPE. Not in my house..... Obviously if she/he is going to have sex I can't stop them. I ... [snip!] ... But I don't want to smack myself in the forehead and be like OMG what if it happened that night i let him sleepover......"</blockquote>
Not trying to be snarky but wouldn't you say that refardless? I.E. - what if that happened the night I let them go to the movies? What if that happened the night I let them go out to eat?
<blockquote><b>Quoting Intrepid Detective Munch:</b>" I think if kids know that they're having sex they'll be too embarrassed cause all they're gonna think about is us outside knowing what they're doing lol. (I hope that made sense)."</blockquote>
Sure. I see no problem with it... better in a safe environment, in my opinion.
No. I'll discuss birth control, safe sex, etc. But I would find it very disrespectful for my teenage children to be having sex in my home. I cannot control what they do, but I can set boundaries and make those clear.
Quoting *Mayhem*:" <blockquote><b>Quoting I♥RYLEIGH:</b>" NOPE NOPE NOPE. Not in my house..... ... [snip!] ... I.E. - what if that happened the night I let them go to the movies? What if that happened the night I let them go out to eat?"
Yeah I guess so. but I'm not gonna walk into my 14 (saying 14 bc I lost my virginity at 14......) year old daughters room and find them h*****g and say SORRY! and walk back out. No best believe I am picking him up by his p***s and throwing him outside, ass naked. lol
I agree with you Mara. While I would not at all like to think of my girls someday engaging in sexual activity, I know it will happen. and when it does, I want them to be safe about it and respect themselves.
I'd talk with them about it, and let them know there's a place where condoms can be found. No questions asked.
I really hope neither of my girls starts having sex in middle school, that would break my heart so much.
Quoting I♥RYLEIGH:" NOPE NOPE NOPE. Not in my house..... Obviously if she/he is going to have sex I can't stop them. I ... [snip!] ... But I don't want to smack myself in the forehead and be like OMG what if it happened that night i let him sleepover......"
i feel like the potential for that - if the entire thing is preceded by a parental meeting about sex, is almost zero.
maybe i'm wrong, but i wouldn't be doing this unless i was sure that everyone was protected going in. girl on birth control, boy w/ the condoms, the whole she-bang.
and i'd also address the "condom broke" / we got caught up in the heat of the moment argument beforehand w/ a statement to the effect of, "if either of these situations happens, we need to immediately get plan b into the girl, so that we can guarantee pregnancy doesn't occur."
there are a limited number of ways a woman can get pregnant, and most of them involve carelessness w/ contraception, which i'd be actively combatting by discussing all of it in detail w/ both of them.
and letting them know, of course, that penetration doesn't have to happen unless both parties are fully willing to take that step / risk.