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Cast Your Vote:

    • never ever. i'd burn off their genitals first! -- Votes: 63
    • really? that's an option? -- Votes: 29
    • perhaps, i don't know yet - i don't have a teenager -- Votes: 84
    • i've already stocked condoms & plan b in their nightstand -- Votes: 19
    • sex is for bonobos & porn stars, of which my teenager is neither -- Votes: 6
FroggysMommy 1 child; Golden, Colorado 26160 posts
14th Aug
Quoting Mara:" so, just read this interesting article on slate.com about letting your teenager have "sleep overs". ... [snip!] ... and in their childhood bed. lots of reasons to REALLY think about what it means to do it... i like it! what do you think? "


My parents have always been the type to be all "Use protection, we'd rather you do it under our roof safely then in a car where you aren't protected."



My Mom would put condoms in my room. She gave me space, talked to me, met my boyfriends, we were all close. I never had to go out and sneak around. I had a few close boyfriends that I had good relationships with. I never slept around. It was NEVER a "Oh crap, I dont have condoms!" It was "Oh yeah, Mom can you pick up some more condoms at walmart?" and it was fine.



Yes, I became pregnant at 19. But I RELIGIOUSLY used condoms and I was told Id never have kids. I never allowed a boyfriend or guy to use his condom, only mine so I know they were stored right. Shit happens.



I plan to do the same with lily. If she wants to wait until marriage... okay. If not... I prefer that she doesnt wait and I as long as the guy respects her and she respects herself... then I see nothing wrong with her exploring her sexuality. I'll provide a variety of contraceptive methods too.

user banned Lesbos, Greece 95211 posts
14th Aug
Quoting FroggysMommy:" My parents have always been the type to be all "Use protection, we'd rather you do it under our roof ... [snip!] ... herself... then I see nothing wrong with her exploring her sexuality. I'll provide a variety of contraceptive methods too."


All of this.



Except I did have a wild streak where I had multiple partners in a short amount of time when I was 15/16.

FroggysMommy 1 child; Golden, Colorado 26160 posts
14th Aug
Quoting Nocturnal:" All of this. Except I did have a wild streak where I had multiple partners in a short amount of time when I was 15/16."


Ya know I had my moments, but I never really had any complete f**k ups. I had friends that completely lost their shit, and I had my moments but never really went that insane. Like... I went to friends houses and one girl asked me to have sex with her brothers friend while she has sex with her boyfriend and Im all "No, Id rather go home." Those fuckers made me walk home at 3am, like 5 miles home. When I was a virgin some mexican dude that was like 21 was berating me because I wouldnt have sex with him. I wouldnt ever go past my standards. But people like Tony (my recent ex), when I was 19 I was online one night, drunk, and messaged him and said "I NEED SEX!" and it was all over after that, lol. Started a bed buddy relationship, turned best friends, turned relationship, turned "IM GOING TO BEAT HIS GIRLFRIENDS ASS." Hate that b***h. There was a guy that I would so love to get yummy with... but I havent had sex in a year... so I have my moments, Im not totally "pure" but I dont have a new guy every night either.



Now kissing when I was younger.... dude I kissed a lot of people. In the rave scene when you are rolling, you kiss a lot of people! lol

user banned Lesbos, Greece 95211 posts
15th Aug
Quoting FroggysMommy:" Ya know I had my moments, but I never really had any complete f**k ups. I had friends that completely ... [snip!] ... when I was younger.... dude I kissed a lot of people. In the rave scene when you are rolling, you kiss a lot of people! lol"


Oh yeah. Sex was purely on my terms. I took it if I wanted it. :lol: I broke up with a guy because he kept trying to pressure me into sneaking out nightly for sex. :roll:

Anja[VBA2C GRADx2!] 5 kids; Illinois 3568 posts
15th Aug

I have had the talk with my daughter where if she wants to have sex while still living here there's some rules , not too many, but mostly don't do it around the kids and do it safely (we have a box in the bathroom closet of my room with condoms and dental dams and anything else and I let her know about that) and be honest about it and let your relationship develop a while before it and make sure you trust your partner that kind of stuff. The thing is I feel this is more effective than what I got (I was not provided with tools for safe sex such as condoms and birth control, I was not provided with education on what to do about anything , and my mom didn't supervise me nearly as much though I also snuck out to see my boyfriend, probably entirely why I had a baby as a young teenager) and while it opens the door to my daughter having sex in my house or at all period as a teenager, at least I feel better about it than just like denying her things for safe sex and not letting her know what the possible consequences could be , also that she should trust the person she decides to have sex with and not just do it so early in a relationship and whatnot. It makes me sleep better at night knowing she knows these things and understands it (I made sure she understood it by asking her questions like where is the safe sex box ? What are the rules? a month or so after telling her stuff like this) . I don't invite her to have sex in my house however it is just one of those just in case things. Thus far I'm pretty sure she hasn't even done anything more than hold hands with her girlfriend so I'm pretty confident that my talk will eventually come in handy but now is not the time to worry anyway.



Added bonus being my daughter's not with a boy so I have less concern about an unwanted/unplanned pregnancy.

Sexy Rexy Nags Head, North Carolina 219 posts
17th Aug

. At 16 I was allowed to have my high school sweetheart sleepover in a different room. I think at 18 is when he could sleep in my bed. I16-17 I was allowed to drink at the house once in a while. I've never been a big drinker but I drank here and there. I think it was awesome my parents were a bit more relaxed with that. They taught me to drink responsibly, and drilled into my head that drinking and driving should never be done in any circumstance. They would rather me drink at the house safe and sound under their supervision. To this day I will not drive even if I had one drink. My parents did not encourage sex by any means, but they're not stupid. Yes I had sex at my house, yes I drank at my house. But guess what? I never ended up pregnant or in trouble for drinking. Before all of this, I was sneaking around all the time. Looking back, I am so lucky nothing ever happened to me. Once my parents started allowing these things I no longer had the need to sneak around and put myself in dangerous situations. However I definitely agree it depends on the maturity of the child. I knew what it took to not get pregnant and protected myself, I knew drinking a whole bottle of whiskey is never a good idea. I believe my parents were more relaxed because they realized I was mature enough to handle it. For my family, it worked wonderfully. I honestly feel that if my parents were not the way they were, I would have not turned out so level-headed and responsible. As long as my daughter has a similar maturity level, I believe I will take the same approach.

Mara Due September 27 (girl); 2 kids; San Francisco, California 38964 posts
20th Aug

wow.



thanks for all the thoughtful responses on every side of the possible spectrum, it's very revealing how varied people's responses and experiences are.



i'm not sure - even still, how i feel about it all.



i think it'll be touch and go, see where my kids are, who they're dating, how they're behaving in life in general, before making this call.



lots of food for thought.



i may have to reference this in 10 - 12 years. here's hoping BG's still around and my account still functions!

Mrs. Potato Dick Madagascar 20356 posts
29th Aug

I hate missing out on interesting threads :evil:

FroggysMommy 1 child; Golden, Colorado 26160 posts
29th Aug
Quoting Sexy Rexy:" . At 16 I was allowed to have my high school sweetheart sleepover in a different room. I think at 18 ... [snip!] ... so level-headed and responsible. As long as my daughter has a similar maturity level, I believe I will take the same approach."


My parents let me drink too. I never lost it, never went in a car with a drunk driver and if I needed a ride they gave it to me. I plan to do the same to Lily.



Call me a bad parent but I let my 9 year old have a sip of wine. She hated it, lol.

Mrs. Potato Dick Madagascar 20356 posts
29th Aug
Quoting FroggysMommy:" My parents let me drink too. I never lost it, never went in a car with a drunk driver and if I needed ... [snip!] ... it to me. I plan to do the same to Lily. Call me a bad parent but I let my 9 year old have a sip of wine. She hated it, lol. "


I did the same thing for my 7 year old. My son was like "WHY DO YOU LIKE THAT?! IT'S SO GROSS!" Maybe it'll keep him away from booze for a few extra years. lol.

FroggysMommy 1 child; Golden, Colorado 26160 posts
29th Aug
Quoting Mrs. Potato Dick:" I did the same thing for my 7 year old. My son was like "WHY DO YOU LIKE THAT?! IT'S SO GROSS!" Maybe it'll keep him away from booze for a few extra years. lol."


Thats what I'm thinking too, lol. My nephew tried a sip of wine and Lily asked about how it tasted so I let her taste. She hated it. So now she knows she doesnt like it and won't feel pressured to try it with friends. I have no issue with it!!



21 is an asinine age to drink anyways.

Pabst 10 kids; Muthafuckin, GA, United States 26201 posts
29th Aug
Quoting FroggysMommy:" My parents let me drink too. I never lost it, never went in a car with a drunk driver and if I needed ... [snip!] ... it to me. I plan to do the same to Lily. Call me a bad parent but I let my 9 year old have a sip of wine. She hated it, lol. "


My stepmom started giving me sips of her drinks when I was like 12 or 13. I thought it was gross. I didn't drink until I was 18-19 in college and even then it was just Smirnoff Ice :lol: I never got into drinking until I was almost 21. Ha, I finally discovered liquor and got knocked up like three months later. I blame vodka.

Mrs. Potato Dick Madagascar 20356 posts
29th Aug
Quoting Gubler:" My stepmom started giving me sips of her drinks when I was like 12 or 13. I thought it was gross. I ... [snip!] ... into drinking until I was almost 21. Ha, I finally discovered liquor and got knocked up like three months later. I blame vodka."


I blame Soundgarden and Japanese booze from the 7-eleven.

Inc0gnitus 2 kids; Anchorage, Alaska 4325 posts
29th Aug
Quoting FroggysMommy:" My parents let me drink too. I never lost it, never went in a car with a drunk driver and if I needed ... [snip!] ... it to me. I plan to do the same to Lily. Call me a bad parent but I let my 9 year old have a sip of wine. She hated it, lol. "

My mom tried that and it kinda backfired, my older siblings hated it but my brother and I loved it. She would buy white zinfandel for herself and my brother and I were constantly stealing some. My brother has had issues with alcoholism since he was 14.



I honestly think that kids are just individuals and the majority of what we do to raise them can't quantified into statistics for how they will act or what they will do.

FroggysMommy 1 child; Golden, Colorado 26160 posts
30th Aug
Quoting Inc0gnitus:" My mom tried that and it kinda backfired, my older siblings hated it but my brother and I loved it. She ... [snip!] ... and the majority of what we do to raise them can't quantified into statistics for how they will act or what they will do."


I liked the alcohol my Mom let me try... I remember having beers and mixed drinks from a young age but it made it where I never went crazy. My Dad is an alcoholic too so I never went crazy because I know I am predisposed to it. Sorry about your brother though :(