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Always♥Faithful 2 kids; CHERRY POINT, North Carolina 21633 posts
21st Aug

I guess I can understand a parent feeling like their child isn't their "baby" anymore after he or she finds out the child is sexually active. It's a reality check for sure, but I don't believe in not helping your child after that fact.



They did make an adult decision to have sex, but that doesn't mean their childhood is over or should be treated as such. I would much rather have an open, honest relationship with my kids, and educate and prepare them for real world situations, and support them through those adolescent years than put all of that responsibility on them as repercussions. To me, preparing children for the real world is helping them get their licenses and helping them get a car (among other things). Those are steps to them getting jobs and going to college. If my children feel like they can manage working and going to high school, that is a choice they will make; otherwise a summer job will be enough, IMO. Sexual activity wouldn't change my view.

Iyahna :^P Temecula, California 11357 posts
status 21st Aug

Since i got pregnant at 16 but ended up losing it at 12 weeks it would suck if my mom did that to me.Yeah i was an adult enough to have sex and got knocked up by a dead beat but i was not no where near one in the head.GAH thinking about how naive i was at that age irks me.So Glad my mother never gave up on me.If my son knocked some girl up at a young age i would be upset and yes he would have to get a job or mow somebodies lawn.Just because he is a man and his pregnant girlfriend can do so much.I really hope all 3 of my sons will know better.I would never give up on my babies but since they are men they have to at least step up with a part time job.

speaktruth2powr 2 kids; Ontario 44959 posts
21st Aug

<blockquote><b>Quoting Always♥Faithful:</b>" I guess I can understand a parent feeling like their child isn't their "baby" anymore after he or she ... [snip!] ... school, that is a choice they will make; otherwise a summer job will be enough, IMO. Sexual activity wouldn't change my view."</blockquote>



Getting their license, yes....getting a car, hell no.



Getting a job to pay for a car is teaching them far more than handing over a car to them.

Trey&Genesis'momma 4 kids; 4 angel babies; Somewhere, IN, United States 4293 posts
21st Aug
Quoting eKnuckles:" I understand to a certain extent. If they want to have sex -a very 'adult' thing to do- then they should ... [snip!] ... have some bit of responsibility. But I don't see how that also means the parent should no longer be responsible for their kid."

:!::!: This.



I'm not naive, I know my children are NOT going to come to me when they become sexually active but I do believe that parents also can pretty much tell when something is going on as well. So I guess I wouldn't let my kids know ahead of time. I would just wait till my suspicions were confirmed and then enforce that rule. I'm kinda old fashioned I guess but I plan on having the whole sex talk with my kids and then it's out of my hands what they choose to do. I won't like it and I won't encourage that they go out and have sex. But I can control how I run my house. I agree though that it doesn't mean the responsibility is completely off the parent either. But I would certainly make it known that there are adult things you get to do when you make an adult choice.

Always♥Faithful 2 kids; CHERRY POINT, North Carolina 21633 posts
21st Aug

<blockquote><b>Quoting speaktruth2powr:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Always♥Faithful:</b>" I guess I can understand a parent ... [snip!] ... yes....getting a car, hell no. Getting a job to pay for a car is teaching them far more than handing over a car to them."</blockquote>



I never said hand the car over. I said help get the car. My parents bought my car when i got my license and I worked to pay them back.

The Master 2 kids; Perth, Australia 19985 posts
status 21st Aug

so is she going to be checking her Hyman on a monthly basis aka 16th Century nobility style?

The Time Police TTC since Apr 2014; 1 angel baby; Cold Lake, AB, Canada 33303 posts
status 22nd Aug
Quoting .Colleen.:" do you know alot of teens who have gone to their moms prior to sex?"


My SO's family is like this. I know all about my in laws sex lives. and hers. ewwwwww

The Time Police TTC since Apr 2014; 1 angel baby; Cold Lake, AB, Canada 33303 posts
status 22nd Aug

Sweet 16? Getting a kid a car? I must be a bad mom, because my kids aren't getting either of those.




But no. If they have sex, I will still be their mom. I will still be responsible to care for them until they are 18. They didn't make an adult decision. They made a normal decision based on human nature.

Mari-C 18 kids; Nebraska 3695 posts
22nd Aug
Quoting Spacetits:" Sweet 16? Getting a kid a car? I must be a bad mom, because my kids aren't getting either of those. ... [snip!] ... to care for them until they are 18. They didn't make an adult decision. They made a normal decision based on human nature."

I agree. If I threaten my kids with not getting them a car or buying their everyday needs, what good is that going to do? I would think it'd make them rebel even more, and start doing other things behind my back.

The Time Police TTC since Apr 2014; 1 angel baby; Cold Lake, AB, Canada 33303 posts
status 22nd Aug
Quoting E&J=my world:" I agree. If I threaten my kids with not getting them a car or buying their everyday needs, what good ... [snip!] ... what good is that going to do? I would think it'd make them rebel even more, and start doing other things behind my back."


"Oh. my mom wont do this and this for me, so I am just going to be even more sneaky so she doesn't find out." TRUTH

Iyahna :^P Temecula, California 11357 posts
status 22nd Aug
Quoting Spacetits:" Sweet 16? Getting a kid a car? I must be a bad mom, because my kids aren't getting either of those. ... [snip!] ... to care for them until they are 18. They didn't make an adult decision. They made a normal decision based on human nature."

I am the only one out of all my friends that did not get a car at 16.It was rides from school from my mom or the bus lol.I'm still a bit jealous though at the kids that had one.

The Time Police TTC since Apr 2014; 1 angel baby; Cold Lake, AB, Canada 33303 posts
status 22nd Aug
Quoting Iyahna :^P:" I am the only one out of all my friends that did not get a car at 16.It was rides from school from my mom or the bus lol.I'm still a bit jealous though at the kids that had one."


My SO was given one from his mom. No way would I do that for my kids... They can get a job and get one themselves. You can buy old crappy cars that work perfectly fine for under 1000$. They'll survive. My neighbour bought his daughter a 2012 Mitsubishi eclipse. It'd be nice to throw money away like that.

Iyahna :^P Temecula, California 11357 posts
status 22nd Aug
Quoting Spacetits:" My SO was given one from his mom. No way would I do that for my kids... They can get a job and get one ... [snip!] ... 1000$. They'll survive. My neighbour bought his daughter a 2012 Mitsubishi eclipse. It'd be nice to throw money away like that."

Very true.One of the reasons why my parents did not because they said i needed a job to afford the gas and the maintenance.I did not get my first one until i was 18.A crappy 94 honda but it felt good to pay for it out of my own money as crappy as the car was.

The Time Police TTC since Apr 2014; 1 angel baby; Cold Lake, AB, Canada 33303 posts
status 22nd Aug
Quoting Iyahna :^P:" Very true.One of the reasons why my parents did not because they said i needed a job to afford the gas ... [snip!] ... get my first one until i was 18.A crappy 94 honda but it felt good to pay for it out of my own money as crappy as the car was."


I am a SAHM, and our 20k vehicle will be paid off in under 2 years... Which is better than my mom, who hasn't paid off her 10k car yet and has had it for the same amount of time. We can afford it. I just think it's a waste to give a brand new vehicle to a child, especially since they're prone to tickets and crashes. My mom was on disability for the better part of my life, so that is why I never got a new vehicle... But I mean, I didn't need it. Kids should be more active. I walked to my job across the city, and back home. I think that is something I will encourage my kids to do when they are teens.