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Pregnant, stressed and depressed. iwantabrandnewme Due February 5; Pennsylvania 26 posts
27th Aug '13

I am 15 weeks pregnant now and my life just seems to get worst by each day. Lets see, I live in a one bedroom apartment with my alcoholic mother, chain-smoking grandma and weird ass little brother and I just feel stuck. How I got to this point in my life, I just don't know. I feel like nothing is going to get better and why am I even still going through with this shit. I really hate myself, I cant find a job, I get interviews but that's as far as it goes, I try praying, I try being nice, I try so damn hard that its just no point anymore. I have no one to turn to, and I mean NO ONE. The father stop talking to me once I told him I was pregnant, which was totally unexpected and I have no other support. Everyone in my family only cares about themselves and it has ALWAYS been like that ever since I could remember. I cant get any public assistance because my grandmother gets it too and she says she doesn't want it to mess up hers so nobody can use her address so that's out, I cant even get money to go to prenatal appointments. So im just left to struggle. And now Im bringing a baby into this hell hole and there just seems to be no way out. I am at the lowest point I have ever been in my life and I feel that there is nothing that I can do, I am at my wits end and I just feel like ending it all sometimes. I don't know what keeps me going, I really don't. Im not gonna lie I do feel love for this child but I have no way to support it, I want to do everything in my power to give him the best life but there just seems like no hope. Im not looking for sympathy, because I am capable just like anyone else, I just needed to vent because I have no one else to talk to.

Phallus Cranium cocksuck, LA, Sri Lanka 109072 posts
27th Aug '13

Not sure where you live, but I don;t the thing about you getting assistance interfering with her assistance is legit.



Have you been able to verify that?
Have you looked into medicaid to cover the pregnancy?

iwantabrandnewme Due February 5; Pennsylvania 26 posts
27th Aug '13
Quoting .Colleen.:" Not sure where you live, but I don;t the thing about you getting assistance interfering with her assistance ... [snip!] ... with her assistance is legit. Have you been able to verify that? Have you looked into medicaid to cover the pregnancy?"


I live in PA and I get Medicaid, when she found out I did that she went ape shit on me but I had to because I wasn't feeling well and I thought something was wrong at the beginning. But when you try for cash and food stamps they have to know who else receives it in the household and she thinks they'll cut back on hers, she only gets 150.

Phallus Cranium cocksuck, LA, Sri Lanka 109072 posts
27th Aug '13
Quoting iwantabrandnewme:" I live in PA and I get Medicaid, when she found out I did that she went ape shit on me but I had to ... [snip!] ... food stamps they have to know who else receives it in the household and she thinks they'll cut back on hers, she only gets 150."

Are you over 21?
Food stamps aren't usually given until age 21, and that may effect the amount she gets for the household



If you apply for cash assistance, they do take into account the "household income" but I honestly cant imagine her getting enough in assistance to exceed the income cap.
I think it's really only the food stamps that would be an issue.
Have you applied for WIC?
If you qualify for Medicaid, you are qualified for WIC. You can start getting benefits when you are pregnant and until the child is 5.




It sounds like you're in a horrible situation right now, but you have to pick yourself up and figure a way out.
The only way is to see what help you can get and going from there.
Once the baby comes, you may want to seek employment to help get out the assistance rut, but right now it sounds like you live with very selfish people that are lying to you.

Coffeeface Due December 28 (boy); 2 kids; Ontario 856 posts
27th Aug '13

OP, I'm not sure if you have looked into this yet, but when I was around your age, my alcoholic mother and stepfather kicked me out and I ended up in a maternity home. They provide courses for you to take usually, counselling, and shelter, as well as food, and they provide housing just beside the maternity home (at least in my case) for the residents after the baby is a few months old. I would check to see if there's one in an area that isn't too crappy, because I ended up making the mistake of moving out of the maternity home I was in as it was very, ehm, ghetto, and they would not let me back in after I couldn't stay with my grandmother anymore. You can look up some maternity homes, I've just seen that there's some listed in PA. Good luck. Try not to let your family bring you down.
Edited to add: maternity homes aren't (at least in Canada) like a typical shelter, you will of course get your OWN room, so don't let the thought scare you. It's SO MUCH BETTER than living in a home of toxic alcholics, and you'll need that support during your pregnancy to be stress-free, and especially when dealing with a new baby.

iwantabrandnewme Due February 5; Pennsylvania 26 posts
27th Aug '13
Quoting .Colleen.:" Are you over 21? Food stamps aren't usually given until age 21, and that may effect the amount she gets ... [snip!] ... to help get out the assistance rut, but right now it sounds like you live with very selfish people that are lying to you."

Thank you and the WIC program here requires an apt which I cant seem to get because there is never a human to talk to when you call. I tried going there and they said I need a apt, which Ive tried to make 3 times. I really try everything and it just seems like something doesn't want me to succeed. I keep trying the best I can though. Thanks for the advice, and yes I am 21 and I live with VERY selfish people.

iwantabrandnewme Due February 5; Pennsylvania 26 posts
27th Aug '13
Quoting Coffeeface:" OP, I'm not sure if you have looked into this yet, but when I was around your age, my alcoholic mother ... [snip!] ... alcholics, and you'll need that support during your pregnancy to be stress-free, and especially when dealing with a new baby."

Thank you very much, I will look into this. Hopefully have some luck with something in my life. Maternity homes sound better than a shelter.

Angela Barajas Due November 10 (girl); 19 kids; Buffalo, New York 78 posts
27th Aug '13

i dont know the rules in PA. but here in NY i got food stamps when i was 17 and pregnant with my first. i also got public assistance, and although it took 30-45 days to kick in... it was worth it at the time.



what i did was apply for assistance and i told them that i was basically homeless, just staying at friends houses, which was MOSTLY true because i couldnt always stay with my parents as my dad was a terrible abusive alcoholic... but i did give them my mothers address and said that if they sent anything there she would be sure i received it.



after the waiting period and like, 45 appointments, which they did give me a bus pass to get to, you begin to get rental assistance. then you can get a place of your own, it will probably be small, and maybe not the most glorious of places, but it will be yours to raise your baby in.



they can help you find a job AND provide childcare once your LO is here.



and the buss pass they give you you can use to get to your OB appointments.



im not saying it was easy, it wasnt. it was damn hard, and if you even miss one appointment they cut you off, but it was worth not being in the situation i was in. which was ALOT like yours as far as i can tell.

Phallus Cranium cocksuck, LA, Sri Lanka 109072 posts
27th Aug '13
Quoting iwantabrandnewme:" Thank you and the WIC program here requires an apt which I cant seem to get because there is never a ... [snip!] ... me to succeed. I keep trying the best I can though. Thanks for the advice, and yes I am 21 and I live with VERY selfish people."

:(
Please keep calling to get into WIC, I know it's frustrating

iwantabrandnewme Due February 5; Pennsylvania 26 posts
27th Aug '13
Quoting .Colleen.:" :( Please keep calling to get into WIC, I know it's frustrating"

I FINALLY GOT A WIC APPT!!!! YAY!!! Thank you so much. Sometimes you really just need that little push.

Dianna Gomez Due December 16; Colorado 18 posts
27th Aug '13

It will only cut into her income for foodstamps if you claim her on your case. You are your own household and the only person you are claiming is yourself and your unborn child, you can still use the same address. You can also get medicaid to help with your prenatal appointments. If you get cash assistance, they will give it to you (TANF) I believe it's called, and they will take that out of the sperm donors (that's what I call them when they turn out to be losers lol) pay check, kind of like collecting child support. Also you can apply for hud housing. ALL OF THIS You will claim as your own house hold, your grandmother, mother, and ''weird little brother'' are not a part of your house hold. HUD Housing some times takes awhile, depending on where you live, but if you get approved for food stamps and medicaid, you will get approved for HUD housing. Also, your local office will provide a program where they will help you find a job. All you have to do is apply. If you feel like there is absolutely no other way, and you cannot do it, ''ending it all'' isn't the answer, God is watching over you. There is always someone out there in the world that cannot have babies and would be MORE THAN HAPPY to adopt your wee little one. That is the best life possible if you cannot do it on your own, not ''ending it all'' Please take into consideration these options and continue talking to someone before you make any rash decisions, heck! Inbox me if you need to talk to someone, I know we don't know each other from adams but I've been where you are, trust me, it can get better! Hope it all works out for you!

iwantabrandnewme Due February 5; Pennsylvania 26 posts
27th Aug '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Dianna Gomez:</b>" It will only cut into her income for foodstamps if you claim her on your case. You are your own household ... [snip!] ... we don't know each other from adams but I've been where you are, trust me, it can get better! Hope it all works out for you!"</blockquote>




Thank you so much, I really needed those words of encouragement.

iwantabrandnewme Due February 5; Pennsylvania 26 posts
27th Aug '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Angela Barajas:</b>" i dont know the rules in PA. but here in NY i got food stamps when i was 17 and pregnant with my first. ... [snip!] ... they cut you off, but it was worth not being in the situation i was in. which was ALOT like yours as far as i can tell."</blockquote>




Thank you. I will exhaust all of these options.

Phallus Cranium cocksuck, LA, Sri Lanka 109072 posts
28th Aug '13
Quoting iwantabrandnewme:" I FINALLY GOT A WIC APPT!!!! YAY!!! Thank you so much. Sometimes you really just need that little push."


I am so glad to hear this!
I found myself thinking of you last night and hoping something would go in your favor

Coffeeface Due December 28 (boy); 2 kids; Ontario 856 posts
29th Aug '13
Quoting iwantabrandnewme:" I FINALLY GOT A WIC APPT!!!! YAY!!! Thank you so much. Sometimes you really just need that little push."

Congratulations, glad to hear good news like this. :)