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Daddy issues? (Sorry for the length) Punk'sElmo 17 kids; Troy, Missouri 1050 posts
1st Sep '13

Okay so my daughter's dad has been in and out of the picture. He was there from the time she was born until she was about four months old, but in that time he wouldn't hold her to his chest more than a minute, refused to feed her a bottle if I pumped, wouldn't rock her to sleep, change her, or bathe her. He's changed 5 diapers in nearly fifteen months. After he left he waited almost 9 months to visit her again, a week after she turned one. He visited for thirty minutes and brought his girlfriend. He's had trouble with the law, drugs, drinking, anger, etc in the past. But now he wants to start visiting her more often, so he says. I don't know how to feel. I don't want to keep him from his daughter or vice versa but he is really hard to trust.

Good Queen Bess 2 kids; Ontario 46159 posts
1st Sep '13

Tell him that if he would like visitation, he would need to be willing to go through the courts to get it.



This way, you can work things like random drug testing and even try for supervised visitation.

Mummy-2-2-Monsters TTC since Aug 2014; 2 kids; Seven Hills, Australia 9792 posts
status 1st Sep '13

Try going to the courts and getting supervised visits?



That way everything is recorded, he may need drug tests.. And also if he skips a visit it is noted down.

Punk'sElmo 17 kids; Troy, Missouri 1050 posts
1st Sep '13

We're working on getting him the papers for child support right now, and the DNA test, so they can do the custody. We went to the prosecuting attorney in June and they haven't got back to us which is kind of annoying but I'm sure there are a million cases ahead of mine. I'm sure they would give supervised visits being he has a criminal record and has bounced in and out of rehab a few times.

user banned 1 child; Germany 12377 posts
1st Sep '13

Imo no dad is better than a sometimes dad. I'd take him to court for supervised visitation until he can prove he wants to be around.

Good Queen Bess 2 kids; Ontario 46159 posts
1st Sep '13
Quoting Punk'sElmo:" We're working on getting him the papers for child support right now, and the DNA test, so they can do ... [snip!] ... I'm sure they would give supervised visits being he has a criminal record and has bounced in and out of rehab a few times."


Not necessarily. You'd be surprised what someone has to do to get supervised visitation....

Punk'sElmo 17 kids; Troy, Missouri 1050 posts
1st Sep '13
Quoting speaktruth2powr:" Not necessarily. You'd be surprised what someone has to do to get supervised visitation...."

Do you think they would give joint custody with it being he has no stable home right now and no job? (not sarcasm) I'm just concerned because he's never been the daddy type and I don't trust him further than I could throw him.

Onalee's Mummy Due August 26 (boy); 1 child; Newcastle, Australia 5355 posts
1st Sep '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Punk'sElmo:</b>" Do you think they would give joint custody with it being he has no stable home right now and no job? ... [snip!] ... (not sarcasm) I'm just concerned because he's never been the daddy type and I don't trust him further than I could throw him."</blockquote>



No. He can't have her overnight if there is not a suitable living environment

Punk'sElmo 17 kids; Troy, Missouri 1050 posts
1st Sep '13

Oh thank god. I don't even know where he's staying tonight, much less any night at all. I don't think he actually wants joint custody. He likes to party, and he has zero patience.