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((-We Did It!-)) 1 child; 1 angel baby; Iowa 659 posts
5th Sep '13
Quoting Spacetits:" Common knowledge? My friend was told it was a slightly higher risk when she went through IVF, and that ... [snip!] ... pregnancy is a pain in the ass. I would be afraid. Pissed was not the right word for the posters, but I don't blame them."


You know, I think I may agree with you here. Perhaps it was a poor choice of wording. (Pissed)

Destinite 1 child; 2 angel babies; Paradise, FL, United States 31323 posts
status 5th Sep '13
Quoting Spacetits:" Common knowledge? My friend was told it was a slightly higher risk when she went through IVF, and that ... [snip!] ... pregnancy is a pain in the ass. I would be afraid. Pissed was not the right word for the posters, but I don't blame them."



I don't blame them either, but they should be pissed at themselves and themselves alone. Why implant two if you don't want two? Because it strengthens your chances. They took that gamble and they won, but they lost at the same time.



Bobby Shazam fornication, ri, Wallis and Futuna 105562 posts
5th Sep '13
Quoting ((-We Did It!-)):" I know they were struggling. But didn't they at least read up on IVF? I guess I don't understand because I think children are a blessing. *shrug*"

:roll:

Amelia [a Mom] 1 child; 4 angel babies; Tallahassee, Florida 15016 posts
status 5th Sep '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Destinite:</b>" I don't blame them either, but they should be pissed at themselves and themselves alone. Why implant ... [snip!] ... don't want two? Because it strengthens your chances. They took that gamble and they won, but they lost at the same time. "</blockquote>



:!:



You simply do not transfer more than one if you really want to avoid twins, no matter the quality. Every embryo has the potential to make a baby.

Piecey. 3 kids; K-Town, KL, Germany 63238 posts
status 5th Sep '13

I think they are entitled to feel what they are. Who are we to say their feelings aren't legitimate? Like gender disappointment. I couldn't give a damn about who was struggling with what when I was going through that. Other peoples trials and tribulations didn't make my feelings any less valid. I think it's a dick move to use other people's struggles to try and make someone else out to be a horrible person for feeling how they do.

Clk 2 kids; Dexter, Michigan 11930 posts
5th Sep '13

It is very common to plant more then one embryo when IVF because many times one or more won't take.



Honestly, having twins is a huge fear of mine. It increases chances for C-section, induction, medical issues, and so forth. I can see why they reacted the way they did. Now this doesn't mean they will suddenly abuse their babies or something along those lines. Most likely they will love their babies, and get use to the ideal of twins further they go along.

BRowell 3 kids; 2 angel babies; Bristol, TN, United States 3721 posts
5th Sep '13

That just made me feel sad. I understand that having twins can be overwhelming and scary and all that but the mom said that she had done nothing less than ruin their family. Then the dad said he was angry, and regretted it? That's just sad to me.

Amelia [a Mom] 1 child; 4 angel babies; Tallahassee, Florida 15016 posts
status 5th Sep '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Clk:</b>" It is very common to plant more then one embryo when IVF because many times one or more won't take. ... [snip!] ... something along those lines. Most likely they will love their babies, and get use to the ideal of twins further they go along. "</blockquote>



Yes but you don't HAVE to transfer more than one, especially if twins are not an option for you.

Clk 2 kids; Dexter, Michigan 11930 posts
5th Sep '13
Quoting Amelia Margaret:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Clk:</b>" It is very common to plant more then one embryo when ... [snip!] ... along. "</blockquote> Yes but you don't HAVE to transfer more than one, especially if twins are not an option for you."

We don't know what the doctor said, maybe he/she made them feel like they had or else they would have to pay for another round when it failed. They have every right to feel this way.

Amelia [a Mom] 1 child; 4 angel babies; Tallahassee, Florida 15016 posts
status 5th Sep '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Clk:</b>" We don't know what the doctor said, maybe he/she made them feel like they had or else they would have to pay for another round when it failed. They have every right to feel this way. "</blockquote>



I feel like the doctor bears much of the responsibility in this. The couple was naive, but the doctor knew better and should have made it clearer that all embryos have the possibility to implant. I'm not meaning to imply they don't have a right to their feelings, as I said before I too would be dismayed to find myself pregnant with twins. I just feel like they made a poor choice if twins was not something they were willing to risk. They never should have transferred more than one and the doctor never should have allowed it.

Vivialopod 2 kids; Vantaa, Finland 42775 posts
5th Sep '13

I understand and sympathize.



I babysat a kid a week older than my then-4mo for two hours. Yeah....twins are not for me.

Vivian [♥] 2 kids; Balls Deep, in, Georgia 13909 posts
5th Sep '13
Quoting Amelia Margaret:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Clk:</b>" It is very common to plant more then one embryo when ... [snip!] ... along. "</blockquote> Yes but you don't HAVE to transfer more than one, especially if twins are not an option for you."


no, you don't. But it costs a TON of money every time they do it. That's why a lot of people will implant more than one, in fear that if it didn't work, they won't have the money to try again.

adkjishaiu 3 kids; 1 angel baby; French Lick, IN, United States 45087 posts
status 5th Sep '13

I think they used the wrong words. They shouldn't be pissed or angry but maybe disappointed and scared. When I heard the nurse say baby "a" and baby "b", my heart sank and I laughed from pure fear. I went through all these emotions in that one day, I can't even remember it all. Then, I did get mad. I was upset I was having twins. I honestly, didn't even talk about them for a few months. We didn't name them until late. I had no real excitement about them because I was afraid, sad and worried. Not pissed. They should have realized it was a possibility and should have prepared for that. I really hope they don't take it out on their boys. While it's not what they wanted, it's what they got and the babies deserve their love regardless. I was so afraid I wouldn't have enough time or love for the 2 of them let alone my oldest. It took me some time to finally get excited about my own twins. Now, I couldn't imagine my life without them. I've had more than enough love and time. It's a busy life but these 2 should really accept it and get excited because they've been given such a gift they will grow to love. They'll learn to enjoy the twin thing, I know it!

♥garrett&adalyn 2 kids; Texas 10762 posts
5th Sep '13

I think it's sad :/ they're probably one of those couples that ONLY want one kid and no more.. still sad to admit that they're unhappy about having twins. I can't imagine what the kids will think when they find that out later on in life.

melindapple 1 child; Michigan 5425 posts
5th Sep '13

I'm late commenting on this, but whatever.



I understand where they are coming from, but I don't feel bad for them at all. I feel bad for their kids who might some day find out about this BS. I'm sure the family knows how upset they are, and someday one of them might let it slip. I think if they wanted to get pregnant so bad, they should suck it up and be happy. Yes it's nerve wrecking having a child for the first time, let alone two, but parents figure it out, as will they.