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Cast Your Vote:

    • The pastor was justified in his refusal to do the ceremony. -- Votes: 38
    • The pastor was in the wrong. -- Votes: 20
    • Other, (please explain). -- Votes: 5
_______Nope_________ 23772 posts
10th Sep
Quoting Pregnancy Addiction:" Do we know for sure it was not in the contract? "


No ones mentioned any dress code in a contract. If it was there, that would have been the first thing someone would have mentioned. That is was right there, in black and white.



And again, not all churches are the same. Most of the ones I've been to (that I've continued going to) basically any form of dress is fine. People can go in in crop tops and booty shorts if they want. It's about God and worship, not clothing. The pastors would rather have a person in there listening and worshiping than kick them out because they weren't dressed right.

Mama Van D 18 kids; Unity, Maine 2454 posts
10th Sep

<blockquote><b>Quoting she nan igans:</b>" They hired her. If I rent an area for a reception, THEY give me their rules. If they fail to mention ... [snip!] ... their entire wedding because he decided he didn't like what she was wear, despite having given them no guidelines previously. "</blockquote>



He didn't even give them 2 hours, he first said something an hour before and then said he wouldn't do it 30 minutes before.

Wiggity Wack 1 child; Connecticut 10780 posts
10th Sep
Quoting Mama Van D:" <blockquote><b>Quoting she nan igans:</b>" They hired her. If I rent an area for ... [snip!] ... He didn't even give them 2 hours, he first said something an hour before and then said he wouldn't do it 30 minutes before."

That was a dick move on the pastors part. He shouldn't have beat around the bush. He should have let them know he had a problem with the dress as soon as he saw it.

Summerfrost 51 kids; Massachusetts 5710 posts
10th Sep

The thing is, he only refused to not marry them after the bride refused to change. I mean if she wanted to get married that day, she could have thrown on something on top of her 'dress'. A pastor married us and there is no way I could have seen him being comfortable performing the ceremony if I was dressed like that.



The thing is, if you want to get married in a church, you dress like it. If you want a wedding where you can wear whatever you want, you go to vegas or get a non-denominational minister to perform the service.

Pregnancy Addiction Due August 10; TTC since Mar 2013; 7 kids; Wyoming 12163 posts
10th Sep
Quoting she nan igans:" No ones mentioned any dress code in a contract. If it was there, that would have been the first thing ... [snip!] ... pastors would rather have a person in there listening and worshiping than kick them out because they weren't dressed right. "


I disagree, just because it was not admitted in the article does not mean it was not there. Journalism has a funny way of picking and choosing what it puts in articles. And either way, just because some allow a certain dress code and some dont, does not mean we should dismiss those who do. Modest is a fundamental of church doctrine in most churches. Yes church is about worshiping but its also surrounding yourself with the light of Christ and invoking the spirit. You cant really be invoking the spirit of Christ if have your tits and ass hanging out of your shorts looking like a hooker.

_______Nope_________ 23772 posts
10th Sep
Quoting Mama Van D:" <blockquote><b>Quoting she nan igans:</b>" They hired her. If I rent an area for ... [snip!] ... He didn't even give them 2 hours, he first said something an hour before and then said he wouldn't do it 30 minutes before."


See, that's my issue. He was hired to do a service. I don't care if he's religious, he's now conducting a business deal. If it was a caterer that did this, people would say of course they were wrong! There was no rule that the caterer had about what the bride could wear! They can't pull out and stop the entire wedding 30 minutes beforehand! Why is it okay for a pastor to do it? If he had guidelines about what she needed to wear, he should have put it into the contract. Without that, I think he was totally and completely wrong. he was hired to do a job and decided not to do it at the last minute because he didn't like what the woman was wearing. Pastor or not, that isn't okay./

Super Mommy! Due July 31; 3 kids; 1 angel baby; Costa Mesa, California 9193 posts
10th Sep

Depending on what denomination that Church is, there could be a dress code. I personally find that dress too revealing to be getting married in a church. He has the right to refuse anyone he wants to and they have the right to find another place/pastor to marry them.

Squid Kid Due July 2; 1 child; 5 angel babies; Tennessee 27717 posts
10th Sep

If it was a marriage in a church, they need to respect the church or find somewhere else where they can wear whatever they feel like.




and the pastor isn't obligated to marry them, he can do whatever he wants if he doesn't take the money.

[BLB] is TTC TTC since Jun 2012; 1 child; 3 angel babies; Hasty, Colorado 16581 posts
10th Sep

<blockquote><b>Quoting she nan igans:</b>" No ones mentioned any dress code in a contract. If it was there, that would have been the first thing ... [snip!] ... pastors would rather have a person in there listening and worshiping than kick them out because they weren't dressed right. "</blockquote>



Our church is come as you are dress code and NOBODY dresses like that.



You generally get married in a church that you attend, so you would know the general feel for appropriate dress. Also, most churches have some type of premarital counseling - if you plan to wear a sexy dress you may bring it up during the session (if you're for some reason unfamiliar with your churches typical dress) and make sure it isn't an issue.

[BLB] is TTC TTC since Jun 2012; 1 child; 3 angel babies; Hasty, Colorado 16581 posts
10th Sep

<blockquote><b>Quoting she nan igans:</b>" See, that's my issue. He was hired to do a service. I don't care if he's religious, he's now conducting ... [snip!] ... decided not to do it at the last minute because he didn't like what the woman was wearing. Pastor or not, that isn't okay./ "</blockquote>




Wrong. This isn't a service. He is performing a religious ceremony and isn't required to do so.

_______Nope_________ 23772 posts
10th Sep
Quoting Pregnancy Addiction:" I disagree, just because it was not admitted in the article does not mean it was not there. Journalism ... [snip!] ... You cant really be invoking the spirit of Christ if have your tits and ass hanging out of your shorts looking like a hooker. "


I think you can worship Christ if you're naked, personally. I don't think clothing changes that.



And that's why, if it was in the contract, then I think he was right. If it was not (and I suspect it wasn't) then he was wrong. Since there is no talk of a contract, I am going off of what was presented, in which no mention of a dress code was given.

speaktruth2powr 2 kids; Ontario 45013 posts
10th Sep
Quoting she nan igans:" No ones mentioned any dress code in a contract. If it was there, that would have been the first thing ... [snip!] ... pastors would rather have a person in there listening and worshiping than kick them out because they weren't dressed right. "


I don't work at a church, I work at a museum that we rent out for weddings.



We don't allow the bride or guests to wear stiletto heels, that is one of the many rules that we have to use our site for a wedding.

Not here to please you 3 kids; Jacksonville, Florida 2214 posts
10th Sep

My father would have had a heart attack if I came out in that! If she wanted wear that she shoulda said something to pastor or choose place where it wouldn't been a issue. I personally wouldn't wear that into a church , when ppl talk about church you think modest dressing. Not going looking like you just came from the club.

Pregnancy Addiction Due August 10; TTC since Mar 2013; 7 kids; Wyoming 12163 posts
10th Sep
Quoting she nan igans:" I think you can worship Christ if you're naked, personally. I don't think clothing changes that. And ... [snip!] ... Since there is no talk of a contract, I am going off of what was presented, in which no mention of a dress code was given."


Of course you can worship Christ naked, the point is, that dressing in a provocative manner in church is frowned upon because it does not invite the spirit. Its a fact that humans are visual creatures, you cant deny that if a girl came in wearing a teddy that it would not be a distruption to the service.

_______Nope_________ 23772 posts
10th Sep
Quoting [BLB] is TTC:" <blockquote><b>Quoting she nan igans:</b>" See, that's my issue. He was hired to ... [snip!] ... okay./ "</blockquote> Wrong. This isn't a service. He is performing a religious ceremony and isn't required to do so."


But, it becomes a service. Around here at least, the pastors are paid for their service. That makes it a service. Just because they are religious, doesn't change that. They could have decided not to do it, but when they booked it, it became a service. They were doing a job they were being paid for. The fact that it was in a church or elsewhere doesn't change that. If there were rules for their church, they should have been given to the couple at the point of booking.



If they were, and the couple didn't follow them, than the pastor was int he right. I don't think that was the case, I'd guess it was an "assumed" sort of thing, where the Pastor assumed the couple knew what was expected. In that case, I think the Pastor should have done the job he'd agreed to do.