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5 year olds destructive behavior You and me + 4 4 kids; 1 angel baby; Philadelphia, Pennsylvania 4113 posts
11th Sep

Please tell me this is just a phase.



Everything and i mean everything her father and I buy her she destroys. She has tons of barbies. I look in her toy bin and heads, limbs and clothes are missing from the dolls. Her shades are broken in two. Dolls missing clothes or colored on. Her easter hat she decided to pull all the thread out of it and wrap the pieces of the hat around her bed. I recently bought her a really nice bracelet and earring set and i look up and she broke the chain to the bracelet and letting the balls from it fall on the floor. When i caught her she says "Im really sorry" I told her to get turn off the tv and take a nap.



Idk what to do anymore. I really dont want to stop doing nice things for my daughter but if she breaks or looses everything i get her its really pointless to keep buying. Shes been doing it for a while and im sure she knows better. Suggestions?

Amelia [26 wks Boy!] Due July 20; 4 angel babies; Tallahassee, Florida 14362 posts
11th Sep

I would give her an allowance and have her buy her own toys for awhile.

Kelly&Coralie 1 child; Rochester, New York 55055 posts
11th Sep

Stop buying her stuff. She doesn't need it if she is going to break it. Save your money and hopefully she'll leanr to take care of what she has




She is old enough to know better

Nicole Mclovin 3 kids; Colorado 2784 posts
11th Sep

If my children did that I would stop buying them stuff or make them take money out of their piggy banks to replace it. I work hard for my money and m kids are not about to disrespect anything that I work hard to provide. And if they feel the need to destroy it then they won't have it a more.

You and me + 4 4 kids; 1 angel baby; Philadelphia, Pennsylvania 4113 posts
11th Sep
Quoting Amelia Margaret:" I would give her an allowance and have her buy her own toys for awhile."


SO and I have been discussing an allowance lately but idk if this is the route i want to take with the destructive behavior. I dont want it to seem like this behavior is acceptable in any way and i feel rewarding her will only encourage it. Idk maybe my thinking is off.

You and me + 4 4 kids; 1 angel baby; Philadelphia, Pennsylvania 4113 posts
11th Sep
double post
You and me + 4 4 kids; 1 angel baby; Philadelphia, Pennsylvania 4113 posts
11th Sep
Quoting Kelly&Coralie:" Stop buying her stuff. She doesn't need it if she is going to break it. Save your money and hopefully she'll leanr to take care of what she has She is old enough to know better"


This is what i was thinking but she has a way of making me feel terrible for not buying her anything if we are out shopping or if i happen to get the baby something.

You and me + 4 4 kids; 1 angel baby; Philadelphia, Pennsylvania 4113 posts
11th Sep
Quoting Nicole Mclovin:" If my children did that I would stop buying them stuff or make them take money out of their piggy banks ... [snip!] ... to disrespect anything that I work hard to provide. And if they feel the need to destroy it then they won't have it a more."


This is my SOs take on the situation as well and i agree. Its just hard for me to not to want to buy for her but maybe i need to become more stern.

Mara Due September 27; 2 kids; San Francisco, California 38964 posts
11th Sep
Quoting You and me + 3:" Please tell me this is just a phase. Everything and i mean everything her father and I buy her she destroys. ... [snip!] ... i get her its really pointless to keep buying. Shes been doing it for a while and im sure she knows better. Suggestions?"


tell her you're going to stop buying toys/gifts until she stops breaking them.



really, how many toys does a kid need anyway?



save some money, teach her to appreciate the things she has and perhaps you'll avoid having a spoiled ungrateful daughter.

Mara Due September 27; 2 kids; San Francisco, California 38964 posts
11th Sep
Quoting You and me + 3:" This is my SOs take on the situation as well and i agree. Its just hard for me to not to want to buy for her but maybe i need to become more stern."


i can help you!



the stuff you're buying for her is ruining the planet. think about that every time you're tempted to blow your money on things she doesn't even appreciate.



it's not about being stern at all, it's about looking at what you're doing for what it is - and she has NO appreciation for what you're doing, just like you haven't realized how buying things for your daughter =/= loving her.

Trey&Genesis'momma 4 kids; 4 angel babies; Somewhere, IN, United States 4293 posts
11th Sep

Idt it's a phase. I think it's just the child. My middle daughter is the exact same way and she is 3. She has been really destructive for a while though. I have disciplined her, put her in time out, spanked her.....everything and she is still destructive. I don't reward her in any way, shape or form unless she is good. I take toys from her till she learns to respect them. She sleeps on a mattress on the floor and will continue to do so till she learns respect for property. She broke her bed, we got her another one and within the first week, she was trying to destroy it as well. So the frame got put in our room until she decides to act better. We don't have the money to keep replacing things and I will NOT allow her to continue to do it. She also broke the changing table we've had for all our kids and were planning to use for the new baby by trying to climb up on it repeatedly and banging stuff against it even though we disciplined her. So now we have to come up with money we really don't HAVE just to get a new changing table. It's ridiculous. I would definitely find a way to get it under control. Even if she makes you feel bad, there is STILL no excuse for her behavior and she will continue to be destructive till you teach her different. When she tries to lay the guilt trip, explain to her WHY she is not getting something she wants and that she has to prove to you that she deserves what she wants. She can't just have everything she wants because she wants it.

You and me + 4 4 kids; 1 angel baby; Philadelphia, Pennsylvania 4113 posts
11th Sep
Quoting Mara:" i can help you! the stuff you're buying for her is ruining the planet. think about that every time ... [snip!] ... has NO appreciation for what you're doing, just like you haven't realized how buying things for your daughter =/= loving her. "


I agree with all of this.

Kelly&Coralie 1 child; Rochester, New York 55055 posts
11th Sep
Quoting You and me + 3:" This is what i was thinking but she has a way of making me feel terrible for not buying her anything if we are out shopping or if i happen to get the baby something. "


So she is going to learn how to make people feel bad to get what she wants?



You gotta nip this in the bud.

You and me + 4 4 kids; 1 angel baby; Philadelphia, Pennsylvania 4113 posts
11th Sep
Quoting Trey&Genesis'momma:" Idt it's a phase. I think it's just the child. My middle daughter is the exact same way and she is 3. ... [snip!] ... that she has to prove to you that she deserves what she wants. She can't just have everything she wants because she wants it."


I agree with this as well.



Very good advice.

You and me + 4 4 kids; 1 angel baby; Philadelphia, Pennsylvania 4113 posts
11th Sep

Everyone is correct and i need to grow a back bone when it comes to her. Im talking to my SO about it now. He told me to take her toys and make her sit there bored for awhile and explain to her she cant keep doing it or shell have nothing so when when she wakes up from her nap i plan to do just that.