Reply
Colt's mommy 1 child; Moore, Oklahoma 20544 posts
13th Sep

I would NOT want to know if it was a while ago and not long lasting and not affecting the current relationship. I cheated on DH once before we got engaged (we were broken up, I had sex with a guy, we got back together and then I had sex with him.one more time) and I will never tell him because I wouldn't want to know myself.

Trey&Genesis'momma 4 kids; 4 angel babies; Somewhere, IN, United States 4293 posts
status 13th Sep

I have mixed feelings bc I was cheated on, I was told and I had a HORRIBLE time dealing with it. So in a way, it's like an unncessary pain but at the same time, I'm glad I was told. Even though it hurt me deeply and I had a hard time dealing through the pain, I think it was for the best. I don't know that it would be any better to go blindly through a relationship and be unaware that you had been cheated on. Either way, the truth has a way of becoming apparent sooner or later. So chances are, even if he doesn't tell her, she will find out some other way and that'll hurt just as bad as if he were to be upfront and honest in the first place.

Super Mommy! Due July 31; 3 kids; 1 angel baby; Costa Mesa, California 9140 posts
status 13th Sep

I would want to know, and preferably right away. Lying and cheating says a lot about a persons character. I don't need the other person making decisions for me, I'd like to make my own choices regarding the matter, as they would have zero say in what happens after the fact.

Nicola. (Expecting #2) Due May 23; 1 child; Huntsville, AL, United States 4585 posts
status 13th Sep

Well, if he aired it out on FB she will probably find out. Even if she can't see it, a lot of other people have. So he should tell her before someone else does.



Really, he should tell her anyways. I would want to know and I would want to hear it from him. I am not sure I could forgive it but I would be more willing and able to if I was told right away.



Not to mention, it is just the right thing to do. Having a lie like that in a relationship is not being honest. And honesty and trust are required to make a relationship work.

Trey&Genesis'momma 4 kids; 4 angel babies; Somewhere, IN, United States 4293 posts
status 13th Sep
Quoting Nicola.:" Well, if he aired it out on FB she will probably find out. Even if she can't see it, a lot of other people ... [snip!] ... Having a lie like that in a relationship is not being honest. And honesty and trust are required to make a relationship work."

I totally agree with this too. Undoubtedly the trust will be gone in a sense anyways even if he tells her. But that can be rebuilt IF both parties are willing to try. Honesty however is something that if it isn't there to begin with, the relationship will suffer majorly.

Kylie's👣Mommy. 1 child; Texas 3379 posts
13th Sep

<blockquote><b>Quoting Too cool. 8):</b>" How does his GF not know? Doesn't he have her on FB? Anyways, I would want to know. I hope DH would ... [snip!] ... if I heard it from him the moment it happened. I would walk away and never look back if I had to hear it from somebody else. "</blockquote>




It's a confession site. So he sent it in. And they don't post the name of the person. He was asking for advice.

Nicola. (Expecting #2) Due May 23; 1 child; Huntsville, AL, United States 4585 posts
status 13th Sep
Quoting Trey&Genesis'momma:" I totally agree with this too. Undoubtedly the trust will be gone in a sense anyways even if he tells ... [snip!] ... are willing to try. Honesty however is something that if it isn't there to begin with, the relationship will suffer majorly."


I just don't see how anyone could do something so devastating and look at their SO afterwards. It just doesn't make sense to me. :?

Sherri + 3 LLC 3 kids; Mesa, Arizona 3758 posts
13th Sep

I would rather know about it no matter when it occurred. I have been cheated on so many times in my past relationships that DH already knows that would be grounds for divorce no matter how long ago or how often it happened.

Trey&Genesis'momma 4 kids; 4 angel babies; Somewhere, IN, United States 4293 posts
status 13th Sep
Quoting Nicola.:" I just don't see how anyone could do something so devastating and look at their SO afterwards. It just doesn't make sense to me. :?"

Me either :/

Sherri + 3 LLC 3 kids; Mesa, Arizona 3758 posts
13th Sep
Quoting Nicola.:" I just don't see how anyone could do something so devastating and look at their SO afterwards. It just doesn't make sense to me. :?"


I completely agree with you. How does the guilt not eat that person alive? Just thinking about betraying my DH that way makes me tear up, lol.

Nae&Zoe's Mommy 2 kids; 2 angel babies; Red Deer, Alberta 624 posts
13th Sep

Id want to know. Doesnt matter when it happend, that fact of the matter is it did. Just because you got away with a lie for years doesnt make it okay or that its should just be forgotten about. Cheating is something I cant and would never stand for. I cant be with someone who for one would cheat on me and two if it was years ago lie about it for that long..

BlackVelvet 1 child; 1 angel baby; Aurora, Illinois 3928 posts
13th Sep

I want to know...



Found out one of my ex's cheated on me. Forgave him. He did it over and over. Girls he knew. Online affairs. He had a 2nd girlfriend for a short while (didnt find out till later) Him constantly telling other girls how horrible i was (when i all i did was work 2 jobs to support him) Him trying to get with anyone who would spread their legs (Im not exaggerating) Basically what im saying is that it opened up a door of what he really was. Mix in abuse (Mental and physical) and a child porn addict (Tried getting him to seek help for it, only delt with it for a short time he refused to admit he had a problem)

Iyahna :^P Temecula, California 11371 posts
status 13th Sep

If it was years ago before we were married i dont want to know.If it was recent yes i would want to know and i will be filling for divorce.

Mama Rice 34 kids; North Las Vegas, Nevada 11980 posts
13th Sep

I would absolutely want to know if he cheated on me. It would make the time since his cheating a lie. It is a betrayal of my trust and our relationship.

The Bear and The Bird 2 kids; Vantaa, Finland 42577 posts
14th Sep

I had a suspicion I was being cheated on for weeks before he left me. It drove me crazy because I never had any real proof. I definitely preferred knowing.



If I didn't have any suspicions, it was a one time thing, and a year + in the past, I don't need to know.