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******** With Grace Photography Due March 31; 3 kids; Milford, Delaware 104 posts
16th Sep

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Caydence's mommy 4/4/09 32 kids; Las Vegas, Nevada 8436 posts
16th Sep

I'm sorry your going through this right now hopefully counseling will help.

With Grace Photography Due March 31; 3 kids; Milford, Delaware 104 posts
16th Sep

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Red Bottom 2 kids; Middelfart, Denmark 15185 posts
16th Sep

The fact that he's saying "You're not being a mother" is what would concern me. That's not something normal that a kid would say, he learned that somewhere.



Introducing a new father is likely just going to add shit to the fire. Then it would become "You're not my dad...."



Your husband needs to try and be as involved as he can while he's gone. There needs to be a plan for when the family will get back together, and something simple to signify the waiting period, so you can tell your son, "we'll be with daddy again in ___ days."



Your husband needs to talk to him and let him know that he expects him to respect you like he respects him. That the rules apply whether he's there or not. You may want to have your husband talk to him about being the new "man of the house" and what he needs him to do, so he feels like he's doing a job and not being abandoned.

♥ Mrs. S ♥ Due September 20; 2 kids; Venezuela 12962 posts
16th Sep

I'm sorry you are going through this right now. :(
Could you guys Skype with your husband everyday??

With Grace Photography Due March 31; 3 kids; Milford, Delaware 104 posts
16th Sep

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With Grace Photography Due March 31; 3 kids; Milford, Delaware 104 posts
16th Sep

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Red Bottom 2 kids; Middelfart, Denmark 15185 posts
16th Sep
Quoting WithGracePhotography:" He likely gets the "You're not being a mother" crap because my stepsons Mom is such a horrible flake ... [snip!] ... together, that's A LOT easier said than done. We visit my husband monthly, right now, but that's still a long wait in between."


Why can't he get on skype once a day? I mean if people who are deployed can do it, I don't see why your husband can't do it to help his family function better. Give them a daily schedule. Story time each night, etc. Your son's routine is completely ruined, he needs a new normal.



But staying apart for an extended period of time when it's causing this big of an issue, and having a baby on the way, on top of him seemingly not helping as much as he honestly could, doesn't sound like a healthy recipe for any family or marriage.

Caydence's mommy 4/4/09 32 kids; Las Vegas, Nevada 8436 posts
16th Sep
Quoting WithGracePhotography:" I REALLY hope so. I hated the idea of having to start my 5 year old in counseling but, he refuses to ... [snip!] ... think I really have any hope (short of being able to move to NY and having the stability again) of helping him on my own. "


I really hope things get better soon for you and your family. I know it sounds stupid to say this but just try not to stress about this. You have him in counseling and that's a big step your doing what you can to help him and that's what's important. It sounds to me like your DS is having trouble dealing with his feelings and is simply acting out to get some kind of reactions.

Red Bottom 2 kids; Middelfart, Denmark 15185 posts
16th Sep
Quoting WithGracePhotography:" He's a Federal firefighter and works 48 hour shifts so we can't skype every day but, he skypes with the kids at least once a week."


Even every other day would be better than once a week. I can imagine that your son's bio father not being extremely active, and his new father leaving and just skyping once a week is a pretty frustrating experience.

With Grace Photography Due March 31; 3 kids; Milford, Delaware 104 posts
16th Sep

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With Grace Photography Due March 31; 3 kids; Milford, Delaware 104 posts
16th Sep

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With Grace Photography Due March 31; 3 kids; Milford, Delaware 104 posts
16th Sep

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Caydence's mommy 4/4/09 32 kids; Las Vegas, Nevada 8436 posts
16th Sep
Quoting WithGracePhotography:" Thanks! And I know that, for the most part, it's normal kid behaviors (with the additions of some bad ... [snip!] ... out how to hold things together until we can all be together again. I really appreciate your support and lack of judgement!"



Your trying your best to make things work and you shouldn't bash yourself because things aren't perfect. Your DH taking a job out of state couldn't have been the easiest choice to make but he made it because he felt it was what was best for your family. It's clear to me from your post that you love your family and are doing the best you can so don't beat yourself up over this things have a way of working themselves out in the end.

With Grace Photography Due March 31; 3 kids; Milford, Delaware 104 posts
16th Sep

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