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CIO vs tantrums Just Emily :) Due June 22; 1 child; Brownsville, Tn, United States 6213 posts
17th Sep

Do you distinguish between letting your child CIO and letting your child throw a tantrum and ignoring the tantrum? Where do you draw a line? If ds is crying because something is truly upsetting him I don't use CIO but if he's just crying because he's not getting his way I don't want to give in and let him think throwing tantrums is the way to get what we want..... Is their a line drawn in other families and if so where is it drawn? D you let your lo throw a tantrum for as long as they wish and just ignore it or do you try to comfort them durning? Just trying to figure out what works for other mommas

☮Sugar Magnolia 1 child; Indiana 18293 posts
17th Sep

My kid can throw a tantrum as long as she pleases and i don't even look her way. But the second she's hurt or overly frustrated, I'm there to help.



I don't feel bad during a tantrum. I'm immune lol

Just Emily :) Due June 22; 1 child; Brownsville, Tn, United States 6213 posts
17th Sep

<blockquote><b>Quoting ☮Sugar Magnolia:</b>" My kid can throw a tantrum as long as she pleases and i don't even look her way. But the second she's hurt or overly frustrated, I'm there to help. I don't feel bad during a tantrum. I'm immune lol"</blockquote>




That's good I'm not alone lol. Ds's thing is our iPads.... I thinks he can use our iPads when ever he wants. I'll tell him mommy needs to do mommy things in it and if he's good then well play games when I'm done but he just sits there and screams until I let him on my lap and then he tries to play with it while I'm actually trying to do stuff. It gets so frustrating. He's only 18 months so I know he doesn't fully understand but I don't want to give in when he throws a tantrum.... When he calmed down and said please (which for him is just nodding lol) I let him up and let him watch what I was doing.

Clk 2 kids; Dexter, Michigan 11520 posts
17th Sep

CIO is a method to force a child to sleep. Ignoring tantrums has nothing to do with forcing child to go to sleep.

user banned 2 kids; Fucking, Austria 36337 posts
17th Sep

CIO is when babies cry themselves to sleep. Totally different then letting your toddler whine it out, I like to call it. lol

Summerfrost 51 kids; Massachusetts 5668 posts
status 17th Sep
Quoting Clk:" CIO is a method to force a child to sleep. Ignoring tantrums has nothing to do with forcing child to go to sleep."


This! By the time my youngest hit the toddler tantrum stage, I was pretty immune. CIO only involves sleeping and isn't connected to tantrums at all. 2 totally different situations.

Just Emily :) Due June 22; 1 child; Brownsville, Tn, United States 6213 posts
17th Sep

Ohhhh ok. I never knew CIO was strictly about sleeping.

Dr. Elliot Reid 1 child; New Zealand 8764 posts
17th Sep

I can tell when DD is just throwing a tantrum because her cry is more whiney, and she always stops to check if I'm looking. The ignore method is working pretty well, after about a minute she realizes its getting her nowhere so she snaps out of it. Also her tantrums happen during the day, if she cries during the night it's usually for a reason, and I don't do CIO.

Bad Things 1 child; Blacksburg, SC, United States 15764 posts
17th Sep

<blockquote><b>Quoting Just Emily LLC :):</b>" Do you distinguish between letting your child CIO and letting your child throw a tantrum and ignoring ... [snip!] ... as they wish and just ignore it or do you try to comfort them durning? Just trying to figure out what works for other mommas"</blockquote>




I cry it out when he is absolutely exhausted and crying because he is tired.



I only comfort him when he is hurt it something upset him...like going to the doctors. I can pretty much tell when it's unnessacary temperness with him.,. Pretty much that I'd when he gets something taken away, in trouble, or doesn't want to do something, and usually starts when he slams himself on the floor.



When tantrums happen, I just put him in a quiet room and he cant come out until he stops his tantrum. If the tantrum is in public, I try to distract but if it doesn't work, I go into a bathroom or outside until he knocks it off.



He is 2,btw.

Just Emily :) Due June 22; 1 child; Brownsville, Tn, United States 6213 posts
17th Sep

<blockquote><b>Quoting Elliot Reid:</b>" I can tell when DD is just throwing a tantrum because her cry is more whiney, and she always stops to ... [snip!] ... of it. Also her tantrums happen during the day, if she cries during the night it's usually for a reason, and I don't do CIO."</blockquote>




I wish! I know ds is throwing a tantrum because he insists on getting his face as close to yours as he can.... If he's really upset he sits and waits for you to come to him. but he relentless. He can scream 10-15 min if he is really mad about not getting his way. That's when I just go put him in his crib and tell him he can come out when he stops crying... Which is usually less than 2 min...

Bad Things 1 child; Blacksburg, SC, United States 15764 posts
17th Sep

<blockquote><b>Quoting Just Emily LLC :):</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Elliot Reid:</b>" I can tell when DD is just throwing a tantrum ... [snip!] ... when I just go put him in his crib and tell him he can come out when he stops crying... Which is usually less than 2 min..."</blockquote>




Be careful with that.



My LO would get to the point of hurting himself so we would put him in his crib, so know he thinks of it as a bad place and refuses naps in it most days because he thinks he is in trouble! I'd recommend a cheap pack and play, or just the middle of his room, if its baby proofed enough to do so. Lol.

Summerfrost 51 kids; Massachusetts 5668 posts
status 17th Sep
Quoting Just Emily LLC :):" <blockquote><b>Quoting Elliot Reid:</b>" I can tell when DD is just throwing a tantrum ... [snip!] ... when I just go put him in his crib and tell him he can come out when he stops crying... Which is usually less than 2 min..."


I looked at your profile real quick and I'm guessing your LO is about 18 months or so? At that age, it's always better to go with distracting them,etc. Think of tantrums as kids having emotions they don't quite know how to deal with. Imagine if every time you felt frustrated, you threw yourself down on the ground and cried. That's basically what's going on.



I probably wouldn't stick my 18 month old in his crib. Normally they need us to stay calm or things can get crazy. You'll also notice more tantrums when they're hungry or tired. As long as they're not going to hurt themselves, I normally just leave them where they are and remove anything that gets thrown,etc. They don't get whatever it is back until they're human again.



You also might notice it when you're in a busy/loud place and they get over stimulated. It's a really bad idea for example ... to go food shopping if it's past naptime and they haven't slept yet. That's practically asking for trouble. :)



When they're younger, sometimes they can scare themselves and they might need a hug when they're done. Sometimes it helps to acknowledge that you understand that they're upset because they couldn't have a cookie or watch the show they wanted to watch or play with a certain toy that their brother is using.



If it's a temper tantrum because of being overtired or something like that, you'll notice it doesn't stop until they're in bed. If they're hungry, it's also almost impossible to get them to eat when they're very upset. That's when you go with them into a dark quiet room and hold them for a bit until they've calmed down.



When they're a little older (say 3 for example) i get less understanding and by 5, my oldest gets sent to his room to calm down when he throws a fit. It doesn't happen very often at 5 though, but being tired/hungry brings out the worst in everyone i think.

Bad Things 1 child; Blacksburg, SC, United States 15764 posts
17th Sep

<blockquote><b>Quoting Summerfrost:</b>" I looked at your profile real quick and I'm guessing your LO is about 18 months or so? At that age, ... [snip!] ... he throws a fit. It doesn't happen very often at 5 though, but being tired/hungry brings out the worst in everyone i think. "</blockquote>




Thats really good advise, too. Once they can start communicating better, they can use words instead of fits. Then they go back to fits in the Tweens! :) lol



At 18 months you can pretty much start playing with a toy and they will stop a tantrum and come to play.
Distraction would be best unless he is going to hurt himself.

Just Emily :) Due June 22; 1 child; Brownsville, Tn, United States 6213 posts
17th Sep

<blockquote><b>Quoting Bad Things:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Just Emily LLC :):</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Elliot ... [snip!] ... is in trouble! I'd recommend a cheap pack and play, or just the middle of his room, if its baby proofed enough to do so. Lol."</blockquote>



His room is 99% baby proofed and I say 99 because somehow kids always find something to get into no matter how safe the room is lol! But he won't go in there if no one is with him. He freaks out.