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Supafly★ 2 kids; Poland 14181 posts
17th Sep '13
Quoting ♥ laura-marie + 1:" My worry is him being unsafe, I don't know what she will do. I don't know what she will say. She is ... [snip!] ... to keep it about them but to me it's about my boy =[ I dont like how I've not been invited, who wouldn't invite the mother??? "


If she isn't stable and you fear for the safety of the older boy, you need to get him out of there. It doesn't matter if your house is big enough, he will be in a better environment. If you think she will harm your kid, don't let him go. I doubt she'd do anything in front of the whole family, though.



What does your SO think about all of this?

♥ laura-marie + 1 1 child; Stalybridge, United Kingdom 1339 posts
17th Sep '13

I went all immature again I guess on my last comment.
I guess I can never really say my feelings about her so it's all coming out here lol
oops



I just really really......can't stand her.
I dont know how to be mature about this!!

Nicola. 2 kids; Huntsville, AL, United States 8544 posts
status 17th Sep '13
Quoting ♥ laura-marie + 1:" yeah definitely. I just have to be the bigger person. f**king hard though haha"


Being the bigger person sucks so badly sometimes. haha.



Just do what you are doing now. Hop on BG and vent about what a b***h she is. I will entertain your posts about it anytime. :wink:

♥ laura-marie + 1 1 child; Stalybridge, United Kingdom 1339 posts
17th Sep '13
Quoting Supafly★:" If she isn't stable and you fear for the safety of the older boy, you need to get him out of there. ... [snip!] ... don't let him go. I doubt she'd do anything in front of the whole family, though. What does your SO think about all of this? "


He agrees. We have tried but then she is a crafty manipulative woman (I was nice there)
She threatens his family with shit if anyone tries to help.
He never has marks the worry isn't physical its mental.
She is a horrible woman, we have tried to get him but then she becomes mother of the year.
He has only lived with her a year, my SO and his mother raised him mainly. she just came in and out.
I can't trust her, which is why this whole thing is difficult for me.
In a perfect world she would be gone somewhere and me and my SO could be with the boys. but she won't allow it.

♥ laura-marie + 1 1 child; Stalybridge, United Kingdom 1339 posts
17th Sep '13
Quoting Nicola.:" Being the bigger person sucks so badly sometimes. haha. Just do what you are doing now. Hop on BG and vent about what a b***h she is. I will entertain your posts about it anytime. :wink:"


Haha thanks =]



Sometimes I wanna scream and be like Why can she get away with being a nut job and everything but I have to be nicey nicey all the time. urgh.

Nicola. 2 kids; Huntsville, AL, United States 8544 posts
status 17th Sep '13
Quoting ♥ laura-marie + 1:" Haha thanks =] Sometimes I wanna scream and be like Why can she get away with being a nut job and everything but I have to be nicey nicey all the time. urgh. "


b***hes be crazy. :roll:



Sorry for some reason that came to my mind and I felt the need to say it. haha

♥ laura-marie + 1 1 child; Stalybridge, United Kingdom 1339 posts
17th Sep '13
Quoting Nicola.:" b***hes be crazy. :roll: Sorry for some reason that came to my mind and I felt the need to say it. haha"


nah it's fine I usually think something along the lines of "well...she cray cray" and do a funny head movement lol so yeah im with you haha

Trey&Genesis'momma 4 kids; 4 angel babies; Somewhere, IN, United States 4675 posts
17th Sep '13

I wouldn't personally let him go. I mean, yes his father is going to be there and he should get to bond with his brother. But there ARE other ways for them to bond besides letting him go to a birthday party that his half brother's mother is throwing. That's just me though. I don't see the need that he has to go to the party that his brother's mom is throwing when it sounds like you and his father throw his brother a birthday party too. It's not like you are completely keeping them away from each other so it wouldn't really hurt to not allow him to go to that side of the family's birthday party ESPECIALLY if you don't feel comfortable with it. In the end, it's only yours and his father's decision to make. Don't let anything else sway how YOU feel about it bc at the end of it all, you're the one who has to deal with it all.



As for when he's older, I think that's only a decision he is allowed to make so yes, sooner or later it will probably become an issue. At that point though, I would make sure he knows that if he were to ever feel uncomfortable about her, he doesn't HAVE to be around her because SHE is not his actual family.

♥ laura-marie + 1 1 child; Stalybridge, United Kingdom 1339 posts
17th Sep '13
Quoting Trey&Genesis'momma:" I wouldn't personally let him go. I mean, yes his father is going to be there and he should get to bond ... [snip!] ... that if he were to ever feel uncomfortable about her, he doesn't HAVE to be around her because SHE is not his actual family. "


Thank you and like I said the older son stays at my house every weekend from friday till sunday at a minimum but sometimes more. she they see each other alllll the time.

Trey&Genesis'momma 4 kids; 4 angel babies; Somewhere, IN, United States 4675 posts
17th Sep '13
Quoting ♥ laura-marie + 1:" Thank you and like I said the older son stays at my house every weekend from friday till sunday at a minimum but sometimes more. she they see each other alllll the time. "

Yeah that's what I'm saying. I guess I just don't get the big hype that it's "keeping the brothers away from each other" when they are constantly around each other. To me, going to one birthday party a year is not binding them as brothers. Blood is binding them and as long as they still get to see each other on a regular basis, there is absolutely no need to say, "Oh you're keeping them away from each other" IMO.

♥ laura-marie + 1 1 child; Stalybridge, United Kingdom 1339 posts
17th Sep '13
Quoting Trey&Genesis'momma:" Yeah that's what I'm saying. I guess I just don't get the big hype that it's "keeping the brothers away ... [snip!] ... to see each other on a regular basis, there is absolutely no need to say, "Oh you're keeping them away from each other" IMO. "


yeah, Maybe I should have mentioned that in the origional post. My thought is that from next year he will probably be asking to go and I can't say no then because im not petty and im not going to be like "no because his mums a nutter" lol im not like that.
It's just that im not allowed to go which is wierd to me. Well it's just that she will be there lol that's the issue.
But this is my last year I don't have to have him near her. from next year he will ask to go and I'll have no choice. I just wanted to keep him away a little longer.

Good Queen Bess 2 kids; Ontario 46839 posts
17th Sep '13
Quoting ♥ laura-marie + 1:" yeah, Maybe I should have mentioned that in the origional post. My thought is that from next year he ... [snip!] ... have him near her. from next year he will ask to go and I'll have no choice. I just wanted to keep him away a little longer. "


It's not just your choice. Your partner has a say as well.



If he wants his children to be together, you should go with it. His father and grandmother will both be there.

Delilah Rae TTC since Jul 2013; Japan 67 posts
17th Sep '13

If she isn't even mature enough to invite you along then I wouldn't let him go.

Good Queen Bess 2 kids; Ontario 46839 posts
17th Sep '13
Quoting Delilah Rae:" If she isn't even mature enough to invite you along then I wouldn't let him go."


So, you are telling her to use her child as a pawn because the mother of the other child doesn't want someone around who makes her uncomfortable?



Seriously? When you are in a co-parenting situation, sometimes you have to suck it up for the sake of the kids involved.

♥ laura-marie + 1 1 child; Stalybridge, United Kingdom 1339 posts
17th Sep '13
Quoting speaktruth2powr:" It's not just your choice. Your partner has a say as well. If he wants his children to be together, you should go with it. His father and grandmother will both be there."


I know, I'm always left with the decision making so I just assumed it was the same. ok, well i'll be speaking with the grandmother too and make a plan.



urgh I keep going over it and changing my mind in my head.
she will say something about my son, i know she will and that's what worries me. it will be petty like a fb status or something but she will say something.