Reply
♥ laura-marie + 1 1 child; Stalybridge, United Kingdom 1334 posts
17th Sep
Quoting Supafly★:" I can certainly see why you have those feelings. But unless you think your child will be unsafe or miserable, there's no reason to keep him from going KWIM? "


My worry is him being unsafe, I don't know what she will do.
I don't know what she will say. She is a compulsive liar.



I have to listen to phone calls of her screaming saying she's done with her son she doesnt want him never did she's going to f**king kill him and that we need to get him because she is done. then next minute she's fine. She can't be trusted. We have tried getting her son but we have no room for him and as I'm the only one paying rent and bills I can't afford a bigger house just for his son.
she is just not right in the head.
don't get me wrong I'm sure she will be nice as pie and all lovely but I don't want her even near him. I'm scared of what she will say or do or the shit she will say after.
I know it's not about me and I need to keep it about them but to me it's about my boy =[ I dont like how I've not been invited, who wouldn't invite the mother???

♥ laura-marie + 1 1 child; Stalybridge, United Kingdom 1334 posts
17th Sep
Quoting Spacetits:" I get that. It is hard for anyone to let their young kid go somewhere without them. I still have issues with it, and my son is in school full time. lol"


aww I dread him going to school haha!!! but yeah it's tough lol

♥ laura-marie + 1 1 child; Stalybridge, United Kingdom 1334 posts
17th Sep
Quoting Nicola.:" Your feelings and worries are definitely normal. It is hard to push them aside sometimes. But in this ... [snip!] ... aside for your son. And your boyfriend too. These are his sons, I am sure it makes him happy to see them growing up together."


yeah definitely. I just have to be the bigger person.
f**king hard though haha

Nicola. (Expecting #2) Due May 23; 1 child; Huntsville, AL, United States 4560 posts
status 17th Sep
Quoting Lyla Addelyn's mommy:" I wouldn't allow it UNLESS I could go too. You are his stepmother too!"


I think her being there would just stir up the drama. Obviously this woman likes to cause problems. And if OP goes, it will just make it worse.



OP, sorry you even have to deal with all of this. But it is one day. I think it will be fine.

Supafly★ 2 kids; Poland 14109 posts
17th Sep
Quoting ♥ laura-marie + 1:" My worry is him being unsafe, I don't know what she will do. I don't know what she will say. She is ... [snip!] ... to keep it about them but to me it's about my boy =[ I dont like how I've not been invited, who wouldn't invite the mother??? "


If she isn't stable and you fear for the safety of the older boy, you need to get him out of there. It doesn't matter if your house is big enough, he will be in a better environment. If you think she will harm your kid, don't let him go. I doubt she'd do anything in front of the whole family, though.



What does your SO think about all of this?

♥ laura-marie + 1 1 child; Stalybridge, United Kingdom 1334 posts
17th Sep

I went all immature again I guess on my last comment.
I guess I can never really say my feelings about her so it's all coming out here lol
oops



I just really really......can't stand her.
I dont know how to be mature about this!!

Nicola. (Expecting #2) Due May 23; 1 child; Huntsville, AL, United States 4560 posts
status 17th Sep
Quoting ♥ laura-marie + 1:" yeah definitely. I just have to be the bigger person. f**king hard though haha"


Being the bigger person sucks so badly sometimes. haha.



Just do what you are doing now. Hop on BG and vent about what a b***h she is. I will entertain your posts about it anytime. :wink:

♥ laura-marie + 1 1 child; Stalybridge, United Kingdom 1334 posts
17th Sep
Quoting Supafly★:" If she isn't stable and you fear for the safety of the older boy, you need to get him out of there. ... [snip!] ... don't let him go. I doubt she'd do anything in front of the whole family, though. What does your SO think about all of this? "


He agrees. We have tried but then she is a crafty manipulative woman (I was nice there)
She threatens his family with shit if anyone tries to help.
He never has marks the worry isn't physical its mental.
She is a horrible woman, we have tried to get him but then she becomes mother of the year.
He has only lived with her a year, my SO and his mother raised him mainly. she just came in and out.
I can't trust her, which is why this whole thing is difficult for me.
In a perfect world she would be gone somewhere and me and my SO could be with the boys. but she won't allow it.

♥ laura-marie + 1 1 child; Stalybridge, United Kingdom 1334 posts
17th Sep
Quoting Nicola.:" Being the bigger person sucks so badly sometimes. haha. Just do what you are doing now. Hop on BG and vent about what a b***h she is. I will entertain your posts about it anytime. :wink:"


Haha thanks =]



Sometimes I wanna scream and be like Why can she get away with being a nut job and everything but I have to be nicey nicey all the time. urgh.

Nicola. (Expecting #2) Due May 23; 1 child; Huntsville, AL, United States 4560 posts
status 17th Sep
Quoting ♥ laura-marie + 1:" Haha thanks =] Sometimes I wanna scream and be like Why can she get away with being a nut job and everything but I have to be nicey nicey all the time. urgh. "


b***hes be crazy. :roll:



Sorry for some reason that came to my mind and I felt the need to say it. haha

♥ laura-marie + 1 1 child; Stalybridge, United Kingdom 1334 posts
17th Sep
Quoting Nicola.:" b***hes be crazy. :roll: Sorry for some reason that came to my mind and I felt the need to say it. haha"


nah it's fine I usually think something along the lines of "well...she cray cray" and do a funny head movement lol so yeah im with you haha

Trey&Genesis'momma 4 kids; 4 angel babies; Somewhere, IN, United States 4293 posts
17th Sep

I wouldn't personally let him go. I mean, yes his father is going to be there and he should get to bond with his brother. But there ARE other ways for them to bond besides letting him go to a birthday party that his half brother's mother is throwing. That's just me though. I don't see the need that he has to go to the party that his brother's mom is throwing when it sounds like you and his father throw his brother a birthday party too. It's not like you are completely keeping them away from each other so it wouldn't really hurt to not allow him to go to that side of the family's birthday party ESPECIALLY if you don't feel comfortable with it. In the end, it's only yours and his father's decision to make. Don't let anything else sway how YOU feel about it bc at the end of it all, you're the one who has to deal with it all.



As for when he's older, I think that's only a decision he is allowed to make so yes, sooner or later it will probably become an issue. At that point though, I would make sure he knows that if he were to ever feel uncomfortable about her, he doesn't HAVE to be around her because SHE is not his actual family.

♥ laura-marie + 1 1 child; Stalybridge, United Kingdom 1334 posts
17th Sep
Quoting Trey&Genesis'momma:" I wouldn't personally let him go. I mean, yes his father is going to be there and he should get to bond ... [snip!] ... that if he were to ever feel uncomfortable about her, he doesn't HAVE to be around her because SHE is not his actual family. "


Thank you and like I said the older son stays at my house every weekend from friday till sunday at a minimum but sometimes more. she they see each other alllll the time.

Trey&Genesis'momma 4 kids; 4 angel babies; Somewhere, IN, United States 4293 posts
17th Sep
Quoting ♥ laura-marie + 1:" Thank you and like I said the older son stays at my house every weekend from friday till sunday at a minimum but sometimes more. she they see each other alllll the time. "

Yeah that's what I'm saying. I guess I just don't get the big hype that it's "keeping the brothers away from each other" when they are constantly around each other. To me, going to one birthday party a year is not binding them as brothers. Blood is binding them and as long as they still get to see each other on a regular basis, there is absolutely no need to say, "Oh you're keeping them away from each other" IMO.

♥ laura-marie + 1 1 child; Stalybridge, United Kingdom 1334 posts
17th Sep
Quoting Trey&Genesis'momma:" Yeah that's what I'm saying. I guess I just don't get the big hype that it's "keeping the brothers away ... [snip!] ... to see each other on a regular basis, there is absolutely no need to say, "Oh you're keeping them away from each other" IMO. "


yeah, Maybe I should have mentioned that in the origional post. My thought is that from next year he will probably be asking to go and I can't say no then because im not petty and im not going to be like "no because his mums a nutter" lol im not like that.
It's just that im not allowed to go which is wierd to me. Well it's just that she will be there lol that's the issue.
But this is my last year I don't have to have him near her. from next year he will ask to go and I'll have no choice. I just wanted to keep him away a little longer.