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boyfriend wants to be in the delivery room but not bio dad.. Aiden&Leah&Aria'sMommy Due November 13 (girl); 18 kids; Missouri 116 posts
18th Sep '13

My boyfriend and I have been together since end of march when I first found out I was pregnant. The baby is not his, it is my soon to be ex husbands... but my S/O is the one who is here for us. we live together, he buys things for my children and comes to every dr appointment...we both feel as if the baby is his even though DNA says otherwise....
He wants to be in the room when I have her. What is everyones opinion on that? I of course want him to, I just don't know if it's the right thing to do..

Crystal 3 kids; Hephzibah, Georgia 15558 posts
18th Sep '13

In scenarios like this there is no right or wrong thing to do. Do what YOU feel comfortable with, since you will be the one in pain and an emotional state, you get to decide. If you want him there, let him come. If not, ask him to wait in the waiting room or at home.

tinana+2 TTC since Nov 2013; 2 kids; Staten Island, NY, United States 29554 posts
18th Sep '13

Your body, your choice.



However if I were ever in your shoes, I'd let them both be present (even if they had to alternate or whatever) if they both wanted to be there.



eta: I saw what you posted a few threads down about him not allowed to be around the baby, etc... then yeah... definitely don't have him there lol

user banned 1 child; :), :), United States 5380 posts
18th Sep '13

The right thing is to have those that you are most comfortable with be there with you. I don't see a problem with your SO being there, the technicalities of who planted the seed shouldn't sway your decision.

Stephloveslynden Due August 2 (boy); 2 kids; 1 angel baby; California 24423 posts
18th Sep '13

I think he's a great man and you are very lucky. You should definitely let him be in the room. You should also let your BD be in the room though too if he wants to be.

Aiden&Leah&Aria'sMommy Due November 13 (girl); 18 kids; Missouri 116 posts
18th Sep '13

my ex isn't legally allowed to have anything to do with the baby because he made death threats to me and threatened to kidnap her and all kinds of crazyness. So it will be just me, my bf and my 17 year old sister.

Aiden&Leah&Aria'sMommy Due November 13 (girl); 18 kids; Missouri 116 posts
18th Sep '13

I think I'm going to talk to my honey when he gets home from work. I am a very lucky lady to have him in mine & my kids lives. <3 I was kind of scared of what my family would think, or if my soon to be ex would try to get me in trouble with the courts for having another man there..

Stephloveslynden Due August 2 (boy); 2 kids; 1 angel baby; California 24423 posts
18th Sep '13
Quoting Aiden&Leah&Aria'sMommy:" my ex isn't legally allowed to have anything to do with the baby because he made death threats to me ... [snip!] ... threats to me and threatened to kidnap her and all kinds of crazyness. So it will be just me, my bf and my 17 year old sister. "


Well in that case... yes let your bf be in there!

Trey&Genesis'momma 4 kids; 4 angel babies; Somewhere, IN, United States 4622 posts
18th Sep '13
Quoting Crystal
user banned 1 child; :), :), United States 5380 posts
18th Sep '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Aiden&Leah&Aria'sMommy:</b>" I think I'm going to talk to my honey when he gets home from work. I am a very lucky lady to have him ... [snip!] ... my family would think, or if my soon to be ex would try to get me in trouble with the courts for having another man there.."</blockquote>



No, I don't think that you could get in trouble for that.

Something Original [TM] Due March 13 (boy); 1 child; Washington 111 posts
18th Sep '13

Let me just say, I was in this situation 2 years ago with my son....



My BD was so horrible throughout my pregnancy but I continually told him he could be involved as long as he was respectful. I had planned on letting him be there when I gave birth, but the last month of pregnancy he put me under so much stress I was just not comfortable with it, he actually drug me to court at 38 weks demanding to be in the room among other things and the JUDGE said he was not to be in my room at any time during the hospital stay. I was weary of having my boyfriend in the room, but honestly he was the only person that was comforting and helped me through contractions so I said screw it this is what is helping ME right now so that's what I chose to do.



I did let BD in after to meet the baby (he stayed about an hour), but I am very happy with my choice. Had BD been in the room I would have been soooo stressed out and that's not good for mom or baby.



Basically, do what is going to make YOU comfortable and screw everyone else and their judgements.

Something Original [TM] Due March 13 (boy); 1 child; Washington 111 posts
18th Sep '13
Quoting Aiden&Leah&Aria'sMommy:" I think I'm going to talk to my honey when he gets home from work. I am a very lucky lady to have him ... [snip!] ... my family would think, or if my soon to be ex would try to get me in trouble with the courts for having another man there.."


The judges won't care. It's YOUR room and YOUR delivery.

Crystal 3 kids; Hephzibah, Georgia 15558 posts
18th Sep '13
Quoting Aiden&Leah&Aria'sMommy:" I think I'm going to talk to my honey when he gets home from work. I am a very lucky lady to have him ... [snip!] ... my family would think, or if my soon to be ex would try to get me in trouble with the courts for having another man there.."

You can't get in trouble with the Courts. It's a private medical issue and you get to choose who is there or not.

lacTAYtor. ☮ 3 kids; North Carolina 4496 posts
18th Sep '13

It's your body, so it's your choice -- have whoever you want there!

Aiden&Leah&Aria'sMommy Due November 13 (girl); 18 kids; Missouri 116 posts
18th Sep '13

Even though my BD and I are still legally married, I still can't get in trouble because of it?