I REALLY need advice :( Nic760 Due May 20 (boy); 32 kids; 2 angel babies; San Diego, CA, United States 4 posts
21st Sep '13

Let me start by telling my background story.

Back in 2011 I had a miscarriage at 21 weeks with my first child. I went into labor and it was one of the worst experiences of my life. I went into a deep depression for awhile since not long after the miscarriage about less than 6 weeks later, my SO left me for another woman. It hurt at the time but in the long run it was best. I ended up going back to a previous boyfriend/good friend that I never really gave an honest chance to and a year later in 2012 I found myself pregnant again. I felt hopeful about this pregnancy and person due to our history together. But unfortunately I had another miscarriage at 8 weeks. This one of course hurt but I didn't allow myself to get overwhelmed but it and he was a great support.

Fast toward to 2013 and I found out that a younger cousin of mine is pregnant with her second child and is barely about to take care of the one she has now. I offered to adopt her baby if she wanted so that she could focus on getting her GED and making sure she doesn't lose custody of her first child. Quick background of her life, when her first child was born when she was 17 she had some issues with CPS and lost custody of her daughter for a period of time and if she were to mess up again she would lose custody permanently. So I offered to adopt her baby if she so desired and I didn't hear anything from her until she was about 5 months pregnant. She is due in November and we have been planning to move forward with the adoption. I don't want her to feel like I am trying to "steal her baby" so I have been very understanding and open with her even telling her if she wants to change her mind to let me know. But I do believe I can offer the child a good life, one free of CPS issues or anything like that. My SO completely agrees and told me that the priority is to give the baby a home and not worry about anything else.

Here is my concern, I just found out I am pregnant again with my SO. I just missed my period so I know its early but I am freaking out. I have mentally prepared for adopting the baby from my cousin but now the thought of 2 babies under the age of 1 scares me. In my heart I have a strong feeling to still provide for my cousin's unborn baby but I am wondering if anyone has ever been through something similar. I wasn't trying to get pregnant and I wasn't actively trying to not get pregnant either. Looking for advice....

RonniG Due July 19; 1 child; Plentywood, Montana 2036 posts
21st Sep '13

I had a friend who miraculously ended up pregnant at the same time that here embryos were transferred into a surrogate. Obviously, she accepted both babies into her life around the same time but it was pretty overwhelming. My best advice is to take one day at a time and try not to get overcome with thinking things through. Pregnancy and adoption are so hard to predict the outcome. There are too many scenarios that you will exhaust yourself trying to figure it out. Love and accept the unborn babies into your life and things will work themselves out.. Good luck!

I'm His Amy He's My Rory 2 kids; Caldwell, Idaho 49254 posts
21st Sep '13

I don't have 2 under 1 but I do have 2 under 2. I got pregnant with my daughter when my son was almost 6 months, so they're 14 months apart. Some days I want to rip my hair out, especially when they are both screaming, like tonight, but seeing them love each other, is amazing. They have such a wonderful relationship and love each other so much and have from the start. I was sooo angry when I got pregnant, but now I love it more every day.

Nic760 Due May 20 (boy); 32 kids; 2 angel babies; San Diego, CA, United States 4 posts
21st Sep '13

Thank you both for replying. I think I had a freak out moment for a second last night. But you both are right, in the long run everything will be okay. I have a sister who is a year older than me and we are so close you'd think we were twins. If everything goes well I will be overjoyed if these babies have the same relationship. Nothing like having a best friend that lives with you

NatalieBethCole Due May 2; 4 kids; Cedar Rapids, 6 posts
22nd Sep '13

I wanted to weigh in with this. I would say that you should definitely take it a day at a time but also; have you considered the expense for 2 babies so close in age? I have 2 that are 11 months apart and I feel I need to let you know that it can be very expensive. Diapers alone are insane. Make a checklist of the expenses for a 6 month old and a newborn at the same time and compare it to your income. If it looks like it will work- comfortably- I would go for it. There's nothing better than more babies :) I love all of mine! I may even adopt on top of my own (soon to be 5 kids! My oldest will be 11 and the others range in age)

Nic760 Due May 20 (boy); 32 kids; 2 angel babies; San Diego, CA, United States 4 posts
23rd Sep '13

My sister mentioned that to me also. She said I need to just take a day and think about everything. Considering my pregnancy past she doesn't want me to be too stressed and risk something happening to me with my pregnancy. I think its a good idea to sit and think about all the expenses. Its scary but you are right I need to take it one day at a time :)