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Cast Your Vote:

    • Yes -- Votes: 26
    • No -- Votes: 28
    • Only during the first 3 months -- Votes: 2
Should you date while you're Pregnant? NatalieBethCole Due May 2; 4 kids; Cedar Rapids, 6 posts
22nd Sep '13

After a few years of just concentrating on parenting and having the most rewarding and comfortable life as possible; I started dating again. When we fell in love and became pregnant, it seemed like it was okay to start over with someone else. Recently I caught him cheating on me and lying to me about a LOT of things. This devestated me. I waited a long time to date again and thought I'd made a good decision with this man. The last few conversations were extremely heated. He was even trying to direct accusations my way. I know he was only doing this because of his guilty feelings but all the same it hurt me.



Now I'm 8 weeks along and someone new has found interest in me as I have him. I'm very skeptical of a man falling in love with a pregnant woman. It seems as much as I keep myself at a distance, the more he tries to show me I have no reason to be worried about him. I have a few other kids and their father is no longer with us. I was in a serious relationship for those pregnancies. What are some opinions on dating while pregnant? I wouldn't have ever considered it before, but I wasn't single before either. I'm finding that if I look at him like a friend, I really appreciate him for his support, honesty, kindness, understanding and friendship.



I don't want to look at our relationship as a serious thing during my pregnancy. There's hormone changes and so many other arguments I could pose; I want my children to be the 1st thing on my mind and in my heart always. Apparently we won't be having a traditional family afterall, but that's okay with me. I had Preston at 17 years old and now I'm 28 and will be 29 when this one is born. That's 12 years of child bearing.



When people ask me I just tell them that I was young with #1 and when I became pregnant with #2 and my first was 5 years old I said "If you're gonna go swimming, you may as well get wet!" My 3rd is 11 months younger than my 2nd; I took a break for a few years and had my 4th and decided last year while pregnant I would continue until I'm at least 30. I love bearing children and I love my children and while being pregnant has a lot of downs, it has ups too. For instance; those beautiful one-of-a-kind smiles :)



So yeah, it looks like I'm going to date while I'm pregnant as long as he and I are both comfortable and my kids are still #1. As for moms that have had men cheat on them and leave them after they become pregnant- I feel for you. I gave that man my heart. I feel gullable but am happy for the experience so I know what to avoid in the future. Anyways I got the best part of him ;)

**Blessed_Insanity** 7 kids; Wyoming 18692 posts
22nd Sep '13

So do all of your children all have different fathers then? I just worry about how they will view relationships and worry about the fact that you keep bringing so many men into their lives that you obviously do not know that well.

Good Queen Bess 2 kids; Ontario 45800 posts
22nd Sep '13

I would forget about trying to find a guy and concentrate on being a parent to your children.



It's not fair for your children to have a revolving door for guys in their lives.

Amelia [a Mom] 1 child; 4 angel babies; Tallahassee, Florida 15019 posts
22nd Sep '13

It's not the dating while pregnant, it's getting pregnant with someone you're not in a stable relationship that I would avoid.

Ladee+Grant+Lilly 2 kids; Tallahassee, FL, United States 20300 posts
22nd Sep '13

Honestly...I'd worry less about trying to date and find a man and more about try to figure out how to make yourself as self-sufficient as possible. Maybe that's harsh, and I certainly don't mean it that way, but at 8wks pregnant with how many other kids? 4...or maybe 3...? Either way the last thing on my mind would be dating or a man, especially if the last one had just crashed and burned.

Ah oh spaghetti O 2 kids; ................................., CA, United States 1767 posts
status 22nd Sep '13
Quoting speaktruth2powr:" I would forget about trying to find a guy and concentrate on being a parent to your children. It's not fair for your children to have a revolving door for guys in their lives."


!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[BLB] is Expecting! Due January 22; TTC since Jun 2012; 1 child; 3 angel babies; Hasty, Colorado 16752 posts
22nd Sep '13

I wouldn't, I don't think.

Amelia [a Mom] 1 child; 4 angel babies; Tallahassee, Florida 15019 posts
22nd Sep '13
Quoting Ladee+Grant+Lilly:" Honestly...I'd worry less about trying to date and find a man and more about try to figure out how to ... [snip!] ... 3...? Either way the last thing on my mind would be dating or a man, especially if the last one had just crashed and burned. "

:!:
OP, you really need to take some time to figure yourself out and how to make better choices in relationships.

¡VinHaute! Memphis, Tennessee 44467 posts
status 22nd Sep '13
Tikaytasha 17 kids; New York 11503 posts
22nd Sep '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting speaktruth2powr:</b>" I would forget about trying to find a guy and concentrate on being a parent to your children. It's not fair for your children to have a revolving door for guys in their lives."</blockquote>




Amen.

Not here to please you 3 kids; Jacksonville, Florida 2214 posts
22nd Sep '13

Think you need stay single for a while. And put your focus on your kids , it's hard on kids having men come in and out. They need a stable environment. Just my opinion , hope that didn't sound mean I wasn't trying be honestly.

Juggernog-aholic 4 kids; 2 angel babies; P, AR, United States 20136 posts
status 22nd Sep '13
Quoting speaktruth2powr:" I would forget about trying to find a guy and concentrate on being a parent to your children. It's not fair for your children to have a revolving door for guys in their lives."


:!: I agree with this.



But, in some cases, I see nothing wrong with dating while pregnant. DS1's bio dad broke up with me a week before I found out I was pregnant. DH and I started dating a month before I had DS1.

NatalieBethCole Due May 2; 4 kids; Cedar Rapids, 6 posts
22nd Sep '13

Thank you everyone but if you paid attention it looks like I need to remind you: My first 4 kids have the same father- he passed away over seas. I was with this one's father for 7 months before becoming pregnant and that was after YEARS of being friends. We have been broken up for 6 weeks. I have not gotten serious with the guy that is interested in me. I have 4 kids to worry about and care for and they are #1 as I keep saying.

There is no 'revolving door' for men in my kids' lives. We are a christian family. Please give a vote and a quick reason why YOU voted that. Thank you.

☆º×ß¡±©µ×º☆ Due September 18 (girl); 3 kids; 1 angel baby; Centralia, Washington 45192 posts
22nd Sep '13

there's absolutely nothing wrong with dating while pregnant

[BLB] is Expecting! Due January 22; TTC since Jun 2012; 1 child; 3 angel babies; Hasty, Colorado 16752 posts
22nd Sep '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting NatalieBethCole:</b>" Thank you everyone but if you paid attention it looks like I need to remind you: My first 4 kids have ... [snip!] ... for men in my kids' lives. We are a christian family. Please give a vote and a quick reason why YOU voted that. Thank you."</blockquote>



I gathered from your OP that there were several fathers. Maybe it was just the way you worded it. I know it doesn't say that, but it seemed to be the case.



Personally I wouldn't date, I don't think. I guess you have to do what YOU feel is right.




Also, I'm sorry for your loss.